


The Devil You Know

by SisterWine



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: A father's love, Destructive Dating, Elliot understands, Gen, M/M, SVU Shake-up, Secrets, changes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-04-25 10:27:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4956763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SisterWine/pseuds/SisterWine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elliot and Olivia trail a killer through a dating agency and learn a devastating secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters of Law & Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf and Wolf Films. I make no claim to them, no money exchanged. This is strictly for entertainment. Fiction.

 

Lower Manhattan  
City Park  
Monday, 22 Octobre  
6:36 AM

Elliot sighed and shrugged himself out of the driver's seat of his dark blue Crown Victoria, Olivia exiting out of the passenger side door. He and Olivia had been called to the scene of a horrendous rape and body dump, just outside of the lower Manhattan. From where he had parked the car, he could see the victim, lying under a blue tarp, on a wooden park bench. After a night of pouring rain and a morning of overcast and drizzle, the week had already started out wrong. It was early Monday morning and the sun had been trying to shove apart the heavy gray clouds with no such luck. Elliot would have rather stayed in bed and enjoyed his wife's day off, with her. "What've we got?" He called to the Medical Examiner, Melinda Warner, as they approached the scene.

The park had been empty of patrons out for their early morning runs or dog-walking or casual strolls. Instead, they had all been corralled into a small group, behind the yellow police tape, guarded by an uniformed officer, on the far side of the scene. A handful of people looked on as the detectives and medical personnel did their jobs but only three were on their cellphones describing the scene to their callers. A mix of people, both young and old, men and women watched the process.

Melinda stopped her writing, on her clipboard, and looked up to see the two detectives closing the gap from the parking lot, 50 feet away. The grass had been damp and her dress shoes sunk into the mud as she stood up and greeted them with a grim smile. "Young male, early-to-mid-thirties, sexually assaulted before being strangled by some sort of chord that was around his neck. Bruising on the thighs indicates it was anything but consensual sex. Expensive suit, a little too big for him, though." She paused as Elliot lifted the tarp to look at the victim's state and then sigh, again, as he looked back to Warner. 

"Who found him?" Olivia's brow furrowed as she crouched down and removed her latex gloves from her jacket pocket and slipped her hands into them. She noticed some fibers had come loose, on the young man's left lapel of the gray suit jacket. Gathering a bag, from her other pocket, she removed the young man's half-concealed brown billfold from his inside, right lapel. Opening it up, she read the name from his driver's license, "Aaron Jasper." She had noticed that he had looked to be redressed but was missing his underwear and his pants and shirt were left unbuttoned. His shoes were also missing and, from what Olivia could see, only wore one white sock. Her eyes trailed up his body, as she had knelt down at his head, and noticed several things in disarray. His hair had been combed but lightened from its original dark brown to a soft chestnut and was growing out about an inch before he died. Slight discolouration of the skin, where his wristwatch had usually been worn on the right wrist, now placed on the left and his personal other jewelry were missing from where the tanlines had been, on his fingers.

Melinda turned to point with her pen, over her left shoulder, and acknowledged the short, older woman with a small, white poodle, talking to the uniformed officer. "Dog walker. She said she passed by at 4:30, the bench was empty. When she passed by, again, at 5:15, there he was, half-naked and cold." 

Olivia replaced the corner of the tarp that Elliot had lifted and stood up. "Body dump or very quick fling?"

"Mm, I'm guessing dump and run. He's been dead at least four to six hours. Lividity indicates a different pattern than the bench slats. Also, he got a piece of his attacker before he was killed." Melinda continued her writing and diagram of the body and the area in which it was found before allowing her assistants to bag the victim and place him on a gurney and take him away. 

Olivia held on to the billfold and stared at the ID. "Bronx address. What was he doing all the way down here?" She looked up from the photo of Aaron, brow still furrowed, and scanned the parking lot for a vehicle other than police or department vehicles. Rifling through the slots, she found the insurance card and read the make and model. "Says he owns a maroon BMW, late model."

Elliot surveyed the few cars that weren't police issue and shook his head. "Must have had a ride with the killer. Someone he knew?"

"One way to find out."

Aaron Jasper's Apartment  
Bronx, NY  
9:13 AM

The manager to the non-descript building opened the door to Aaron's fifth floor single's flat. It had been an upper-style flat with wood flooring and loft-style windows. His flat had been scarcely furnished, with only a simple faux leather arm chair and a suede loveseat placed around the 40" flat screen that rested on a polished cherrywood entertainment centre. A large, white shag rug balanced out the small dedicated space for the living room. A small kitchen with older appliances that had begun to be switched out told the two detectives, Aaron had recently come into money and was in process of updating his lifestyle. To the far right of the kitchen sat the door to the bedroom. 

While Olivia filtered through the pristine setting of the living room, Elliot looked around the bedroom, hoping to find a trace of a struggle or lead of what might have happened to their victim. The bed had been the only thing in the room that was out of place. A simple queen sized bed on a low-rise black wood frame with two pillows, each cased in white poly-satin. Two small, round desk lamps had been placed on wooden bedside tables that sat on either side of the bed. The tan comforter had been rumpled and both corners flared, indicating that two people had gotten out of bed. Perfectly placed photos in simple wooden frames lined the walls in upward angles, six of them had been placed above the head of the bed.

"No sign of a struggle. Other than the bed, everything seems to be pristine." Elliot called to Olivia, looking through some envelopes placed neatly on one corner of the small, brown desk, in the pathway, between the living room and the bedroom. 

Olivia shook her head in defeat. "I'm not finding anything saying he was married or any evidence of a roommate." Opening a drawer, on the right hand side of the desk, she picked up another batch of envelopes and papers. Flipping through them, a single laminated door flier slipped out and landed at her feet. Bending over and picking it up, she read the printing and stepped into the doorway of the bedroom to tell Elliot. "Maybe, he was looking for love and the wrong date happened by? Flier for a dating service in Little Italy, for homosexuals."

Elliot had stepped out of the bathroom, next to the bedroom door, holding a small wire basket with a clear plastic bag. The bag was mainly empty, save for a few used tissues and used condom. "That would explain this. They met up, came back here, had sex, things got outta hand and Aaron winds up dead, in the process."

Nodding in agreement of the possible scenario, Olivia reached for her ringing cellphone, on her belt, and answered it. "Benson." She paused as the caller filled her in about the evidence and autopsy results from Aaron Jasper's body. Finishing the call and hanging up, she filled her partner in on the update. "Warner confirms intercourse before he was killed as well as a substance on his jacket. She's sending it up to trace. Feel like placing a dating ad?" Smiling and handing him the flier for the dating service, she watched as he bagged the used condom, for evidence and glanced at the flier in her hand.

"Why not?"

 

Just Right Dating Service  
224A Canal Street  
Little Italy, NY  
Don Calicci's Office

 

Don was an Italian man in his early 40s with curly black hair that had been long enough to cover the tops of his ears, thin-rimmed, round glasses with a rounded face. He was a medium height man with an average build hidden under a well-tailored suit from a high end men's shop. He spoke with a thick New York accent with light slurring in his words due to a clear bottom retainer, in his mouth, from dental surgery. "Aaron used the service a few times. He was new to the state and looking for someone to talk to." His smile faded into uncertainty as he sat down at his desk and stared back, over the paper-strewn metal desk, at Elliot and Olivia. "Is something wrong?"

Olivia sat to Elliot's right and blinked back at the shorter man. "Aaron was found dead, this morning." She took a breath and let him process what she had said. "We'd like to see the list of matches, Aaron had. How long did Aaron work for you?"

"Only a few months. Sweet kid. We screen our applicants very thoroughly before we pair them up with other matches. Our applicants' information is confidential. I can't give anything to you without the proper paperwork." Don sat back in his high-backed office chair, notching his head to the side.

Elliot nodded and reached into his inside left jacket pocket to retrieve a folded paper and handing it to the man behind the desk. "We thought you'd say that."

Huffing and sighing and shrugging before Don turned to his file cabinet, a tall, metal column with five drawers, behind him. Opening the second drawer down, he walked his fingers over several other file folders and pulled Aaron Jasper's file from the drawer. Don closed the drawer and turned to hand the folder to Elliot, who opened it and flipped through the four names. The most recent pairing had been an older man by the name of Justin Paxton. "He must have liked older guys. All four men are upwards of 35 to 43."

Don sighed and shrugged. "We actually had a few younger applicants with his earmarks, come through, but he chose the ones who have used us prior. In fact, he called me last night and told me his last match was perfect for him."

"Justin Paxton?"

"Yea," Don nodded, "said he was helping him to adapt to city life. Aaron was a country boy from Iowa."

Olivia's brow furrowed. "How many dates did it take for him to decide on Justin being 'The One'?"

Thinking, Don leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers together, resting them on his stomach. "About four. Justin was very persistent."

Elliot and Olivia only looked at each other but said nothing as they thanked him for his time and exited Don's office. 

 

Continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Two

Justin Paxton  
Ware It Up Furniture  
Upper East Manhattan  
6:56 PM

"What can I do for you, detectives?" Justin strolled back to his lavished desk, after shutting the door, behind them, as they entered the cluttered but neatly arranged large office, in the back of the store. His toned frame fit elegantly into his dusty-gray suit, yet nothing in his demeanour gave away his orientation. An elegant eyebrow curved upwards as he was shown a blown up copy of Aaron Jasper's driver's license. 

"Do you know this man?" Olivia asked, watching Justin's expression as he stared at the photo.

"Yes." Justin reclined back in his tan computer chair and smiled up at the two detectives, who remained standing instead of taking a seat in the offered chairs, across from him. "Aaron and I had a few dates. Why?" His interest piqued as Olivia replaced the photo in her jacket pocket and took out her notepad and pen. Running a hand through his salt and pepper hair, he divided his attention between the two detectives. Well-manicured fingers interlaced, letting his elbows rest on the arms of the chair. "Is it a crime to be gay, in Manhattan?"

Elliot looked around the office and picked up a small, wooden plaque with an engraving for "Best Design Winner". "When was the last time you saw Aaron?" Replacing the plaque on the drawing desk, where he had found it, he turned around to acknowledge Justin and wait for an answer.

Justin thought back, biting the tip of his tongue, in thought. "Thursday night. We went to my sister's wedding reception." The smile faded and was replaced by concern. "Did something happen, while I was out of town? Is he in some kind of trouble?" Looking from Olivia to Elliot and back again, Justin sat forward, a stern expression now firm on his pace. "What's going on?" Clasping his hands together and leaning forward on his desk, he waited.

Scratching his left temple, Elliot stepped forward. "Where were you, last night?"

"My flight didn't get in until 12:30, this morning. I caught a bite to eat, at Joe's Diner, on 54th, then went home and went to bed. Why?" Justin stared up at Elliot in frustration.

Olivia wrote his answers down and looked up as Justin and Elliot both paused in an awkward silence. "Flight from where?"

Looking from Elliot to Olivia, Justin took a breath. "I left Friday morning for Boston, had a meeting with my building foreman, on a project, and came back. Again, what happened to Aaron?" Justin shifted uneasily and was becoming angered as his questions went unanswered.

Elliot shifted. "Was anyone with you, at any time, between those times?"

"No but, my building has drivers. The one I had last night can corroborate." Justin didn't bother looking to the other man as he said his explanation.

Olivia shifted. "What was the driver's name?"

"Sheila something. I don't know her last name." Frustration entered Justin's expression, again. "Please. What happened to Aaron?"

Elliot cleared his throat and swallowed. "Aaron Jasper was found dead on a park bench, this morning." He kept a close eye on Justin's expressions as the other man processed the tidbit of information. He could tell Justin had been genuinely shocked to hear the answer and mentally noted it, glancing over to his partner and making sure she had gotten the same impression.

"He- wha--, how? I just talked to him before final boarding. When?" Justin shifted in his seat and then shifted again, uneasy at the sudden change in atmosphere.

"Just before 1 AM." Olivia clarified.

Justin shook his head in disbelief. "We didn't get out of parking until 1. Sheila picked me up in Parking Garage 4."

Elliot sighed. "Thanks for your time, Mister Paxton."

SVU Squadroom  
Tuesday, 23 Octobre  
8:23 AM

"Where are we with dating service, Jasper used?" Captain Cragen stopped at Fin's desk. He had come out of his office, after getting off the phone with Trace. With a case folder, in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, he had been hoping for some good news. The more he tried to put down the folder, the more times he had picked it back up again. The folder he held had been from a similar incident, a few years prior. Cragen hoped for differences.

Elliot hung up his desk phone and stood up, making his way over to the pot of freshly made coffee, to refresh his 1/3 full cold coffee. "Calicci called me, about an hour ago, said he did some digging, after we left, yesterday and came up with a few people Aaron turned down. One name stood out; a Jacob Martinelli." He paused to pour his coffee and replace the decanter before heading back to his desk. "Martinelli was apparently one of the first few dates Aaron Jasper ended early. When asked why, Jasper said Martinelli was a little too excited to go out and became jealous of Jasper, after only one date. Apparently, it became so overwhelming that Jasper filed for a temporary restraining order, last month. My buddy at Metro said Martinelli has been a very bad boy, busted for possession with intent to sell, a few misdemeanours and domestic violence charges within the past two years. Also, has a pretty bad temper. And, each time, his lawyer managed to get him off." 

Cragen exhaled. "Where is he, now?"

"Last known address is an empty loft, up in Tribeca. Mail's been forwarded to his lawyer's office. Home address is either unlisted or a motel residence." Elliot sat down in his chair sipped his coffee. He rifled through a few of his papers and picked up a fax, his friend in Metro had sent him. "His lawyer's name is Erik Matthews. Matthews is a very prestigious attourney for Caldwell & Jameson in Manhattan." He stared at the faxed photo of the young man before handing it to his partner, across the combined desks.

Cragen chewed his lower lip in thought. "Let's start out with questioning the lawyer and getting him to offer his client to chat with us, first. We don't need Caldwell & Jameson stirring up a commotion that doesn't have to be." He recalled an earlier incident, in his career, that had him up against another lawyer from the firm and it nearly cost him his job. "Tread very lightly."

 

Manhattan Courthouse  
Lower Manhattan, front steps  
11:15 AM

Matthews sat on the lowrise wall that lined the fountain, to the left of the courthouse. His work laptop was open and up with a page of reference for another client of his firm. He sat with his back to the street, under the ever-shrinking shadow of the tall, stone building in front of him. Stabbing his fork into the plastic container of Caesar Salad, he picked up a good sized bite and chewed, noticing the two detectives as they approached, from the corner of his eye. He swallowed and stabbed another piece of lettuce and cherry tomato and chewed his bite before scrolling the screen down to read on. A legal pad with detailed notes rested on his leg as his bowl of salad sat between he and his laptop, on the gray cement wall. His pen had been madly moving fluidly across the paper as he jotted down useful notes for his upcoming continuation. He paused in his writing and flipped the pad over, placing it under his leg and slipping the pen behind his left ear. 

"Erik Matthews?" Elliot and Olivia stopped and flashed their badges before introducing themselves. "Detective Stabler. This is my partner Detective Benson. Your office said you had court all day. Sorry to intrude on your lunch but we'd like to ask you about a client of yours."

Swallowing the mouthful and briefly glancing up at the two credentials, Erik cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with the napkin he had draped over his leg that rested on the wall, in front of him. "What can I do for you, detectives?" His voice had been slightly hoarse from speaking in court, all morning. He had a fresh, young sounding voice to match his youthful appearance. Tired caramel eyes flickered up at the photo Olivia showed him. 

Olivia watched the young lawyer as he gave little acknowledgement to them or their questions. "Jacob Martinelli. Have you seen your client, recently?" Between the cloud cover and the shade from the building, she had to pay attention to his mannerisms as he shrugged and blinked up at her, tiredly.

"Yes." Matthews sighed and used the back of his right forefinger, the same hand that held his fork, move a lock of chestnut hair from his forehead. "What kind of questions do you wish to ask my client?" Erik stabbed another forkful of salad and took a bite, chewing slowly and carefully. He swallowed and glanced over at Benson's partner, who wrote down their conversation. 

"Look, counselour, we're not here to pick a fight with you or your client. We have an investigation and we'd like to ask Martinelli where he was two nights ago." Elliot stopped his writing and shifted his position, staring down at the pale young man.

Erik blinked as he read Elliot's expression. Checking his watch that he wore on his right wrist, he sighed. "Jake was with me, the other night. My lunch is almost over and I'm due in court until 2:30. If you care to wait, I will produce him for you, when I get out." A cool breeze blew across his blue dress shirt and forced a small shiver out of him as his breath caught. Erik stiffened and shifted on the hard seat.

Elliot stepped forward. "You are aware that's impeding an investigation. We can arrest you for failing to produce your client."

Erik closed his laptop and shut his legal pad, placing the pad on top of the laptop before gathering his bowl of salad up to finish it. "You can. But, that won't get you any closer to him or an answer to your investigation. What is this about, exactly?"

"A young man was found murdered, not too far from here. Your client was one of the men listed on a homosexual dating service as a compatible match." Olivia watched Erik's reaction to her words as she explained the situation. She noticed him perk up at the mention of a dating service and hold her gaze as she continued. "We've spoken to the other men on the list. Jacob Martinelli is our last piece of the puzzle. We just have a few questions for him. That's all."

The young lawyer looked carefully at both detectives and checked his watch again. "I haven't seen him since yesterday morning." Placing the cover on his bowl and his laptop and pad into the black carrying case, that leaned against the wall, behind his left foot, Erik stood. "He hangs out in Queens, with his brother. Find his brother, chances are, you'll find him." Clearing his throat and hoping the detectives would get the subtle hint of his annoyance, Erik met eyes with Elliot. "Now, if you don't mind, I have a client waiting for me." 

As the watched the lawyer nod a farewell and hurry up the stairs and into the building, Elliot went over the notes in his hand. "I'm gonna stay with the counselour. Make sure he doesn't tip off Martinelli and then ask him about our boy, 'Jake.' You wanna grab Fin and take a wander around Queens?"

Olivia nodded and made her way back to the car, grabbing her phone and dialing Detective Tutuola.

 

Manhattan Courthouse  
3rd Floor Men's Room  
2:15 PM

Flushing and turning to face the door, Erik paused a moment from unlocking and opening the stall door. He had heard someone walk in and stop at the row of sinks. He swallowed and wiped his mouth with a nervous hand before exiting the stall to wash his hands. He made his way to a sink, two spots down from where a co-worker stood, fixing his tie. Soaping his hand and running the water, he thoroughly washed his hands and then cupped them, bending over to rinse his mouth and wash his face. When he stood up, the co-worker was walking out and Elliot was standing a few feet away. Wiping the excess water off of his face and taking a breath, he stared over at the detective via reflection. "Something else I can do for you, detective?"

"Impressive moves, counselour. You must have been the top of your class, in law school." Elliot stood with his hands in his pants pockets. He had watched the young man successfully defend a young woman wrongfully accused of arson. He sat in the very back row along with another man, who also watched the young counselour in action.

Erik forced back the heaving he felt and breathed deeply, not wanting to move until the feeling dispersed.

Elliot stopped and took a long look at the young man before him. "Are you ill, counselour?" He had noticed that Erik's face had paled considerably since he walked into the Men's Room but had figured that it had been the lighting that discoloured the scene.

Dropping his head and closing his eyes, Erik swallowed shallowly before opening them and making his way to the towel dispenser. "I told you and your partner. I don't know where my client is, Detective Stabler." Taking a towel and wiping his hands before turning back to the other man, Erik shifted. "What department are you with, again?"

"Special Victims."

"Rape cases." Erik took a breath. 

Elliot sighed. "Yea, this one went a little further than that. Look, we just want to talk to him. And this little cat-and-mouse game, isn't making our job any easier."

"What time was your victim allegedly being raped and murdered?"

Elliot thought for a moment and studied the young man. "Early hours on Monday morning. Where's your client, Counselour?"

"I can't help you, detective. My duty is to protect my client from being railroaded, for one. And, two, I haven't seen him since yesterday morning." Erik tossed the used paper towel away and then moved back to the far wall, to gather his case and suitjacket. Bending over and reaching for his things, he felt the illness rise from his stomach and prayed it waited for him to get back to his office.

"You said he was with you all night?" Elliot paused to turn around and see the younger man collect his things.

Erik turned to see the detective staring at him, from across the room. "He hasn't always been my client." 

Elliot nodded and had thought of something to say, in return, but before he could open his mouth, his cell phone buzzed from his pants pocket. Turning to answer it, he left the men's room and stepped over to the windows, across the way from the Men's Room door. "Stabler." He listened as Olivia told him she and Fin had followed and caught up with Jacob Martinelli, at an Irish pub, in Midtown and that they were on their way back to the precinct, for questioning. "I'll let Matthews know." His back had been to the door and had missed Erik coming out of the restroom but had called to him as the lawyer made his way down the hall, to the lifts. "Counselour!" Elliot ran to catch up to the man as he stopped and turned around to flash Elliot a tired look. "My partner picked up your client, in Midtown."

SVU Interrogation  
Room #2  
3:03 PM

"Why don't we start by you telling us where you were, Sunday night. It's in your best interest to answer the questions in this case because, once your lawyer gets up here, this deal goes away and you go back to jail for possession of heroin." Olivia leaned on fingertips, the table between them. She watched Martinelli closely and when the door opened, neither she or the man sitting in the chair, made a move. 

Jacob sat in a relaxed pose and only tilted his head and smirked as Elliot stepped in. "That doesn't look like my lawyer." Martinelli was a man of 40, with old money roots and his ego and demeanour certainly showed it. He sat with his legs crossed and hands folded on his lap, waiting patiently for his young lover to show up and bail him out. A smirk spread on his lips as Olivia straightened and backed up to lean against the wall, her back to the observation glass.

"He'll be in, in a minute." Elliot smiled and slipped his hands into his pants pockets as he came to a stop a few feet in front of the closed door. "You really made this a lot harder than it should have been." Narrowing his eyes and shifting his stance as he stared at the man in the chair that shrugged and became amused by the detective's assertion. "You sure know how to pick 'em. But, all we wanted to ask you was where you were, Sunday night. The fact that your residence has been cleaned out, mail forwarded to your lawyer's office and when my partner attempted to talk to you, you happened to have had a dime of heroin, in your possession. You're lookin' more and more guilty by the second, Jake."

The door opened and Erik entered, closing the door behind him. "Answer the question, Jake." His expression had been one of mixed feelings as he had wanted to collect his client and leave, going home for the rest of the day to spend in bed as he hadn't been feeling well. Yet, it had also been one of curiosity and need for answers, in order to better help his client from being framed for murder.

Grating his teeth over his bottom lip, Jake smirked, "You know where I was."

"Tell them."

Sighing, annoyedly, Jake leaned forward and placed his hands on the table. "Erik and I went to dinner with my brother and his wife, caught a show in the Garden, then went home. Erik," motioning to the lawyer, "said he wasn't feeling well so, he went to bed and I watched some TV." His tone leveled as he looked at Olivia and answered. Turning his gaze over to his lawyer, his motioned that he was growing impatient of still being in Interrogation, while his lawyer was there. "You gonna do what I pay you for, or what?"

Erik's stomach churned. "You still have heroin possession to deal with. Sorry, Jake, my hands are tied. I'll see you at arraignment, in the morning." He turned to leave but stopped as his client snarled and bolted up from the chair, fighting off the two detectives that tried to keep him from attacking his lawyer. The door opened and two more, uniformed officers entered to control the angered man while Captain Cragen grabbed Erik by the arm and ushered him outside. 

Cragen had watched the entire scene unfold and had been a little curious as to why Erik chose to leave his own client in jail, for the night. "Who's side are you really on, Counselour?"

Erik swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment as he listened to the cursings and ravings of his client, that carried out, into the squadroom. "When he's sobre, Jake is better composed. The decision to leave him in lock up, doesn't come from me but from his father; a now retired senior partner of my firm. I'm meeting with Mr. Martinelli, tonight, and tomorrow, Jake will go straight from arraignment to rehab. Again." A wave of nausea flashed over him and he paled a bit as the two uniformed officers escorted Jake to lock up. "Excuse me, I'm due back at the office."

The captain's brow furrowed as he nodded and watched the young man leave without a glance over to his client that yelled for him.

 

Continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Arraignment  
Wednesday, 24 Octobre  
9:00 AM

Judge Cathy Marsden stared over the tops of thin-framed reading glasses at the counsel before her. She then blinked at the smug expression of the man in question. "How does your client plead, Mr. Matthews?" She had been an older judge, well placed on the bench for about 20 years. She had been, in no way, a frail old woman as her mind and judgment had been as sound as a tack. She dealt with Erik on a constant, almost monthly basis and tired of his client's constant shenanigans.

Erik had looked less pale and fragile, as he had the day before. "Not guilty, your honour."

Combed black hair and wearing the same clothes from the day before, black khakis and a pin-striped white shirt, rolled at the sleeves, Jacob Martinelli looked very pleased with himself. Hazel eyes reflected complete calm, oblivious to the day before's events. With his hands in his pockets and an occasional glance to his right, where his lawyer stood, he had become well-known in the courtroom and looked around as if looking on happier moments. Jake had shaved the day before but would have preferred better hygiene standards than what was offered, in lock up. Jake was the type of man who felt as if he were above the rest, his father and grandfather being two men who co-founded one of the top law firms in the state. Though a distinguished-looking man of 43, Jake didn't believe in acting any older than a man in his 20s.

"Your honour, Mister Martinelli fled from police when they merely wanted to question him about his whereabouts during a murder investigation. Of which, his name had appeared as knowing the victim." ADA Alexandra Cabot stood across the aisle and offered the rest of the story. 

Erik looked over his shoulder and studied the woman before turning to focus on the judge. "My client has completed rehab program with exceptional points and has been working on several Community Service routines in which he has signed up for, to help our city's youth. The substance confiscated was neither on his person or in his possession at the time of arrest." He had liked how professional Ms. Cabot was and admired her calm confidence. Her hair had been done up neatly and her glasses gave a delicate touch to her milky complexion. He had heard about her from some of his other co-workers and knew what he was getting into but, as much as he was supposed to despise her, he admired her.

Alex looked over at opposing counsel and then back to the judge. "Mister Martinelli ran from detectives upon approach, leading them to believe he was not following law-abiding protocol. He fled from officers and when they caught up to him, he was subsequently cuffed, Marandised, searched and booked."

"Your honour, my client was arrested in a known drug-related part of Midtown. The report states the bag in question was found on the ground beside him and not on his person. He is neither a flight risk or convicted drug dealer. His prior associations with the substance have only landed him in rehab, not jail." Taking a glance over at his client, he could feel the smug smile the older man wore. His stomach began to knot.

Judge Marsden stared back at Erik, unamused in his argument. "Your client should have thought of that before deciding to run from police, Counselour. Bail is set at $15,000." With the bang of her gavel, the case was ended and the bailiff was called to take Jake into custody. "Short recess."

Erik hung his head as Jake was lead away. He could hear Alex talking to Benson and Stabler but the voices seemed to meld together as the room had started to spin. He felt overly warm in his clothing and had started to sweat but couldn't force himself to move. A small groan escaped him as he closed his eyes. He knew it had been too soon to get back to work but had no other choice. He swallowed and shifted his stance. 

"You feeling alright, Counselour?" Elliot had noticed the small groan and had been watching the lawyer carefully. "Counselour?"

Erik nodded. "Fine." Brushing past the two detectives, he made his way to the door, briefcase in hand. 

"He took that well." Olivia's tone had been more of concern than chiding as she watched the young lawyer make his way out of the courtroom.

 

Medical Examiner's Office  
10:34 AM

"Tox screen came back with unusual levels of Hydroxyurea, or more commonly, Droxia." Warner handed her findings over to Olivia, who skimmed the three-page report as Elliot read over her shoulder. She had finished her autopsy on Aaron Jasper and was now in the process of explaining clearer markings and wounds on his body.

Olivia looked confused. "Cancer drugs?"

Warner nodded. "More specifically Myelocytic Leukemia." She had pulled several samples of Aaron Jasper's blood and tissue to show her findings. "Aaron Jasper showed no signs of bone marrow degeneration, vomiting, tissue or muscle swelling, prior to having the drug introduced, before time of death. There is also no evidence of CML, which is Chronic Phase Myeloid Leukemia. The killer most likely has CML or has access to the Droxia."

Elliot's brow furrowed. "What about the condom from Jasper's trash?" He looked across the table at the Medical Examiner as she shook her head.

"Trace of soap residue suggests they had sex in the shower and discarded the condom found in the trash. Seminal fluid inside the condom was Jasper's." Meeting eyes with Olivia, Melinda turned her attention back to the body of Aaron Jasper, lying on the table, behind them. "He did have some pre-mortum bruising on his forearms. Someone held him down as they raped him." She pointed out the hand pattern on Jasper's upper forearms, indicating that he was held down while lying on his back.

"Consensual sex in the shower but not before being murdered?" Elliot took the report from Olivia, that Warner had handed them, and looked it over, once more. "Any idea what type of cord was used to strangle him?" He looked from the paper to Aaron's neck and the thin bruising that wrapped around, just under the jawline.

"Aggressours tend to lack impulse control. The night might have started out as just another, romantic evening but then turned sour. It could have happened during or after the sex in the shower, or hours later, while getting dressed." Melinda paused and stared down at the young man, on the table. "The type of cord used to strangle him was an oxygen tube. Used mainly for portable machines. The attacker wrapped the cord completely around his neck twice and pulled, as if pulling shoelaces before tieing them. Lividity indicates he was lying on his back."

Olivia shrugged. "So, we have nothing to go on. No DNA, no trace from the perp?"

Elliot turned away to answer his phone before turning back to his partner, after ending the call, and informing her of another lead. "Captain says Matthews bailed Jake out and wants us to pick him up, for questioning."

 

SVU Interrogation  
Room #1  
11:45 AM

Elliot sat in a chair, across the metal table from Matthews while Olivia leaned against the viewing wall, behind Elliot. "Should we try this one again? Your name came up, on a list, of possible dating matches for Aaron Jasper. How well did you know him?" Watching Jake's expression change from indifference to glib, Elliot also glanced over at the man's attourney, who sat patiently and waited for the answer, as well.

Sighing with a smirk, Jake shifted positions, in the chair, and blinked back at the detective. "We had a few... evenings... together."

"How many 'evenings' were you two together?" Olivia studied Jake's body language.

Jake sighed again but didn't answer right away. 

"Jake." Looking over to his client, Erik's tone was almost a whisper.

Running the tip of his tongue over his top front teeth and ignoring his lawyer, Jake shifted again. "We had three, maybe four dates. Not exactly dates, though." He smiled as he recalled an image that only he had been privy to.

Clearing his throat, Elliot sat up from his relaxed position and leaned on his left arm, on the table. "Why's that?"

"We were mostly in bed, fucking." From the corner of his eye, he caught Erik's dissatisfied expression but made no move to acknowledge it. 

Olivia pushed off of the wall and took a few steps closer to the table. "So, the match was a mutual agreement?"

"Yea."

"How long before it turned sexual?" Elliot narrowed his eyes at the man. He watched Jake closely and made countless mental notes on the tiniest of details. 

Jake smirked and contained a laugh. "About as long as it took for us to get naked."

Erik inhaled and shifted in his seat. "Where is this going?" His gaze focused on Stabler as the detective acknowledged him. His calm demeanour had begun to fade as he had been forced to listen to his client's unabashed escapades. He felt tired and bored of taking care of the spoilt brat of a man his client had become. 

Olivia sighed and sat down beside Elliot. "Aaron Jasper was murdered after having sex. Possibly with one of his matches from Just Right Dating Service."

Blinking slowly and looking from Elliot to Olivia, Erik sighed again. "You know this for a fact?"

"Know, but can't prove." Elliot answered for her. "Jasper only had one other caller, at the time of the murder." His eyes never moved from Jake's placid expression. He could feel Erik's eyes on him but didn't move to meet the man's gaze. Instead, he sat back in his chair and folded his arms, in front of him.

A wide, smug smile formed on Jake's lips. "I told you, I was with my lawyer."

Nodding, Olivia shifted. "Did you know Aaron's other dates, from the service?"

"Nope."

"Do you or anyone you know of take cancer medication?"

Erik raised an eyebrow and turned to see his client's expression before the man answered. He did his best to hide his concern and knowledge of the offered tip. He had been thankful the two detective were paying close attention to his client and not his mannerisms. Yet, he wanted to hear the answer to the question, as well.

Jake didn't flinch, only shook his head and answered, "nope."

"Did Jasper ever mention anyone, friends or family, who might have had cancer?

"No."

Expressionless, Erik stared at his client for a long moment. "If there aren't any more questions or proof of guilt, my client and I will be leaving now." Taking a breath and standing up, he was halted as Elliot cleared his throat.

"Just one. You said you were mainly in bed, with Jasper, on your 'dates.' Your place or his?"

"Whichever was closer." 

"We're done." Erik locked eyes with his client, silently scolding him. 

Jake scoffed and stood up, following behind Erik as they left the precinct.

 

SVU Squadroom  
3:53 PM

Fin and Munch strolled in and stopped in the walkway between desks. "Medical Board came back with the names of the patients taking Droxia. There's about 100 or so people with that specific type of Leukemia, in Manhattan, only about 30 take Droxia." Handing the findings to Elliot, He leaned against the side of his desk while Munch busied himself with a fresh cup of coffee. 

"So, we'll run that against the list of matches to Aaron Jasper's dating profile, see who turns up." Olivia sat at her desk and stopped writing notes from the call she had taken five minutes prior, concerning another case. Leaning back, in her chair and toying with the pen, in her hand. She looked from Fin to Elliot and then over to the clear board they used as a timeline. "So, of the five people on the list of matches, only three alibi out. First match, married, two kids, lives in Ithaca. Second, considered too young, never met up. Justin Paxton, was 30,000 feet in the air, on his way back to Manhattan, at the time of death." Putting the pen down on the desk, she stood and made her way over to the board, staring at the enlarged photo of Aaron Jasper. Her brow furrowed as she studied the differences between Jasper's driver's license photo and the crime scene photo. "El," tapping the crime scene photo, taped next to his license photo, she turned to look at her partner, "who does that look like to you?"

Elliot looked from the list of names to the photo she pointed at. "That would make more sense to this, guess who's name is on the list for being prescribed Droxia." 

"Matthews?" Olivia's brow furrowed and she moved over to where Elliot stood to read the name, herself. "They lied to us. That makes Matthews an accessory. But, why would he implicate himself?"

Fin shook his head. "Martinelli's too much of a son of a bitch to stay out of trouble but, what do they get out of killing an innocent kid?"

"Maybe Matthews wanted in on the little hook-ups and Jake said no?" Olivia stared at the name on the paper in puzzlement.

The captain had been listening to the bull session from the doorway of his office and stepped forward to offer his input. "Question Matthews about the cancer drug. And re-question him about the whereabouts of his client, on Sunday night. Meanwhile, have Alex get a warrant to search Matthews home."

 

Law Offices of Caldwell & Jameson  
123rd Street  
4:45 PM

"You lied to me, Counselour." Elliot called to Matthews from a few feet away. He had waited for the young lawyer to leave work before approaching the man that just hailed a cab. Approaching the curb as a yellow cab pulled up, Elliot showed his badge to the driver as he bent over to call to the woman driver, "he'll catch the next one." As the cab pulled away, Elliot stood up and came face to face with the unamused attourney. "When I asked if you were ill, in the men's room, you said you weren't."

Erik sighed and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "I omitted facts. I didn't lie to you."

Elliot listened intently to the words. "When we asked your client if he knew of anyone taking Droxia, you tried not to show it but your expression registered knowledge of it. Out of the 30 people, in the city of Manhattan, your name was on the list for prescribed patients."

"Thinking of arresting me?" Erik paused. "You asked my client the question, not me. A twitch, a flinch, an eyebrow raised is not proof of guilt and therefore, inadmissible in court. If you're thinking of arresting me because I take Droxia, be my guest," he smiled as he held out his wrists to be cuffed. "However, that will never stand up in court."

Nodding, Elliot shifted. "Are you sleeping with your client, Counselour? Or, is he just a roommate?"

Erik flinched at the question. "We were.... together..... for a time, yes. I did tell you, he wasn't always my client."

"Just wanted to be clear." Keeping eye contact with the attourney, Elliot moved on. "How long have you been ill?"

Erik turned his head and stared at the street. He didn't answer but, instead, stared at the passing cars. "About four years." When he finally looked back at the detective, his eyes revealed the hidden pain and desperation he had worked so hard at concealing. "And, to save you the trouble of asking, the relationship ended a year later."

"So, you two are no longer intimate but you have occasional sleep overs?"

"I never said I was the one that ended it." Erik's tone flattened. "Jake mainly stays at his brother's brownstone, in Yonkers. My place is closer to where he works."

Again, Elliot nodded and listened. "Inner-city youth."

Erik sighed. "He owns a contracting business in Queens." Checking his watch, he added, impatiently, "Detective, either arrest me on suspicion of murder of a man I've never met, or find something else to solidify your claims. Either way, I'm late for an appointment. If you'll excuse me." Hailing another cab, the two men parted ways.

 

Continued.


	4. Chapter 4

"We're missing something." Fin sat at his desk and looked over the compiled paperwork of the case and couldn't put the pieces together. "Martinelli is a lawyer's son, trust funded rich kid with a drug problem until a year or so ago. Moves out of his place," he was cut off as Elliot finished for him.

Elliot stood beside his desk with his arms folded, following Tutuola's train of thought, "and into his brother's brownstone, in Yonkers. However, spends most of his time at Matthews' place, in Flushing."

Shuffling through paperwork, Fin went back to the original notes Olivia had taken of Jacob Martinelli's situation. "He has his mail forwarded to P.O. box and six months later, drops the P.O. box and has his mail forwarded, again, to his lawyer's office." Looking up from the notes, he and Elliot met eyes as Fin finished his train of thought. "This guy, he doesn't care about safety, considering he's going out of his way to get himself arrested or in Community Service. Even his lawyer's tired of dealing with his bullshit."

"Maybe, his dad is, too? First time, we questioned Jake, Matthews mentioned talking to daddy dearest. So, Jake has been getting agitated because, maybe, dad put his foot down." Sighing and shaking his head, it had been the only viable reason Elliot could come up with.

"But, why kill Jasper? Other than a 'boy-toy' he didn't have anything to do with Martinelli. Or Matthews." 

Elliot shrugged and chewed his right cheek. "Matthews' is holding something back."

Hanging up the phone, as she sat at her desk, Olivia added, "Cabot called. Warrant to search Matthews' place, Martinelli's Yonkers home and vehicles for anything relevant to Aaron Jasper, came through."

Cragen made his way from his office with a sombre tone. "Then, you can let him know the findings, after he wakes up. Fin, you and John collar Martinelli. Elliot, Olivia, paramedics are on route. You can meet them there. Erik Matthews has been assaulted by his own client. Neighbours called it in."

 

Erik Matthews' Residence  
8:26 PM

The blue Crown Victoria pulled up and stopped across the street from the address Captain Cragen had given them. A plain brownstone building had been taped off and EMTs had started bringing out the gurney with Erik, barely conscious and bloody. Flashing their badges, Elliot ran over to the gurney while Olivia met with the neighbours that had called in the noise and were now standing on their front stoop, watching in horror, at the scene. 

"Is he conscious?" Elliot leaned over the younger man on the gurney and took in the wounds Martinelli had done to him. "Counselour? Can you hear me? Erik?" He was forced to back off as the medics loaded the gurney into the ambulance. One medic paused to talk to him.

"Pupils are responding but has a nasty head wound. Blunt force trauma as well as sexual. Just barely stable. We'll get a rape kit, ASAP." As the medic hurriedly climbed into the back of the ambulance, he met eye contact with the detective and informed him of where to find the young man. "We're taking him to Flushing Hospital Medical Centre. Got it?"

Nodding, Elliot called his response, "got it." Shutting the door and knocking twice to let the driver know the doors were shut, he turned around and paused, taking in the aftermath. He watched as the ambulance pulled away from the curb and turned on the lights and siren. 

Olivia stood on the neighbour's stoop and wrote down what they had said. Her main thought was what happened to make Jake attack his attourney and the second thought was, why so rough? "How loud would you say they were? Could you distinguish what they were saying or was it just the noise?"

"Oh, no, we got the screamin' and the thumpin' on the walls." Mr. Harris, a man in his late 60s, stood next to his wife of 40 years and watched the second detective approach from the curb. He was a short man, of five and a half feet but barrell-chested and assertive enough that he was not one to be trifled with, in conflicts.

"Do you know what they were arguing about?" 

Husband and wife exchanged glances before the wife answered. "No. Erik was screaming 'no' and 'stop' really loud. Like he was pleading for something." Mrs. Harris pulled her sweater tighter around her as the evening chill set in. She had taken a motherly approach to the young man next door as he had reminded her of her own sons. 

Olivia sighed as she wrote. "What time did they start arguing? Best guess?"

Mr. Harris looked from his wife to Olivia, an angry expression on his face. "Soon as the kid gets home, that boyfriend of his starts yellin' at him about something. Just constant nagging. Then, the breaking things start. After that, it was like the bum was using Erik to knock down a few walls. He starts screaming for the bum to stop, that's when I called the cops."

"Catch a name of the boyfriend?" Elliot flashed his badge and asked the husband.

"Jake something."

"How well do you know Erik?" 

Mr. Harris glanced over at his young neighbour's house before turning back to Elliot. "He moved in a few years ago. Good kid. Quiet. Keeps to himself. Patty and me help out, when we can."

Olivia's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, 'help out'? Is he in trouble?"

"He means, we give him a ride to and from the clinic, when he needs. That sort. Cancer. With his treatments, he isn't supposed to drive himself. He's offered to pay us, for our trouble but, we wouldn't hear of it." Mrs. Harris spoke very calmly as she watched the detectives' faces. 

Olivia smiled. "Very neighbourly of you. What about his family? Do they come around? Has he mentioned them, at all?"

Mrs. Harris shook her head. "No. He's never mentioned them, at all. Not even pictures on the wall." She paused and thought for a moment, rubbing her left jawline with her right index finger. "He did show me an old photo of his mother. Poor thing, she passed from cancer. Not sure when, though."

"One more question, have you noticed anything suspicious happening next door, recently?" Elliot shifted. "Any people stop by or anything like that?"

Mr. Harris let out a dissatisfied grunt. "That boyfriend of his. The past few years, he's been cattin' around with other boy-toys, bringing them over when Erik ain't home. They stay for an hour or so then leave. The last one, though. He looked like the kid's twin, almost."

Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other as Olivia pulled out the photo of Aaron Jasper, from her pocket, and showed it to them. "Is this who you saw?"

"Yea, that's him. He's been over at least four times."

Elliot shifted. "He and Erik ever meet, do you know?"

Mr. Harris shook his head. "Nope. If they did, they were never together, over there. Just that young man and that bum."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

Husband and wife exchanged looks, again, before Mr. Harris scratched his head and answered. "The 18th, I think. I was coming back from dropping Erik off at the medical centre."

"Thank you. If you think of anything more, to help us, you have my number." Olivia smiled and watched the couple go back inside their house and shut the door. She and Elliot made their way next door and paused a moment as they stood in the doorway. "Mr. Harris was right. It looks like World War III, in here." From the entryway, they could see broken dishes on the floor as well as dents in the wall, separating Erik's house from the Harris' house. Following her partner inside, Olivia stepped in to the front room, to the left of the doorway. A small, round, honeywood end table, on the other side of a plush, creme-coloured sofa had been knocked over and a leg broken. "Got blood." Olivia knelt beside the middle cushion to the sofa and stared at the palm-sized stain on the seat.

It had only been a few rooms that were torn apart while the rest of the house looked to be in decent and often immaculate condition. The furniture had been flawless elegance and the art decor had been mostly expensive but also well planned for a young lawyer's tastes. Some large pieces, on the walls, resembled that of forestscapes and quaint cottages of the old century. From the visible entryway of the kitchen, cabinets had been opened and the mahogany wood flooring was littered with broken dishes and spilled pill bottles.

Elliot walked into the front room holding a red shoe box he had found in the kitchen. "This was sitting on the kitchen countre. Brand new sex toys. A bottle of honey, sitting next to it. Maybe this is what they were fighting about."

A uniformed, female officer came down the stairs and rounded the corner to catch their attention. "Detectives. Something you should see, in the bedroom." She then turned around and lead them upstairs and into the first door on the right; the master suite. A queen sized bed against the far left wall had been made up with silk linens and a thick down comforter, with rose petals scattered on top. On either side were oak file cabinets that were used as nightstands, one of which held a glass of water and a prescription bottle while the other had been in disarray. The doors had been jimmied open and the files, gone through. The room, save for the file cabinet, had been in pristine condition. The clothes in the dresser had been neatly folded and put away while the few items, on top, had been equally neat and tidy. "The file cabinet was already opened and searched when we entered." The officer noted the two other uniforms in the room, one going through the double, sliding frosted glass closets that lead into the master bathroom, where the third officer was going through the medicine cabinet.

"Find anything?" Elliot peered around the corner and asked the two officers. 

The first officer, going through the closet, shook his head. The second, looking through the bathroom vanity and linen closet, held up an evidence bag of a knotted oxygen hose. The hose had traces of blood on one end and looked to have been tied at one point.

Elliot examined the bagged hose carefully. "Where was it?"

The young African American officer with a year on the force, answered. "Tucked in the back, under the sink." 

"El," Olivia had knelt down, on the side of the bed with the glass of water and pulled out a cherrywood box the size of a boot box from under the head of the bed, and placed it on the bed. Undoing the simple latch, she opened the lid and peered inside. "I guess we found where he keeps his family mementos. Pictures, articles. Elliot, there's several clippings of a detective in Brooklyn Homicide, in here. Detective Alex Anders. Some of them date back a few years." She held up a stapled, two-paged clipping of Anders making Detective as well as getting an accommodation from his superior for an outstanding record of excellence."

Moving back into the bedroom, Elliot sighed and skimmed the article. Looking at the picture of Anders, along side his father, retired Captain Russell Anders of Brooklyn P.D. and his own sergeant, his brow furrowed. "I know this guy. He was sitting in the back of the courtroom, that day I waited for Matthews." Elliot flipped through the contents of the box. "There must be half a dozen articles on Anders, in here." Wading to the bottom of the box, Elliot pulled out a 4x6 photo of a husband, wife and two small boys, one just out of toddler age while the other was about 10. The dad in the photo resembled a younger version of Captain Anders. "Family photo."

 

Flushing Hospital Medical Centre  
4500 Parsons Boulevard  
11:25 PM

Elliot exited the elevator and made his way down the hall to Room 323 but stopped a few feet away as he recognised the man standing at the window, staring in at the unconscious young lawyer. Making his way closer to stand beside the man, he spoke softly. "Captain Anders?"

Anders didn't acknowledge the detective. Instead, he sighed and stared at the machines that beeped and the tube that helped his son to breathe. "Figured it out, huh?" 

"Executing a search warrant at your son's home." 

Anders nodded but hadn't looked away from watching the Erik sleep. "I haven't been his father in years. Not since he packed a bag and left." He was as tall as Elliot with black hair that grayed on the sides. A more mature looking man of 74 but still active in his daily activities. His kind face held a hardened expression that Erik often wore when dissatisfied with something.

"Police radio let you know?" Elliot glanced at the man on his right.

Shaking his head, Anders inhaled. "Drove by, tonight. After seeing him, in court that day, I thought I'd try to connect with him." Stifling a yawn, the retired captain shifted. "My wife and I were on the outs, when I met Erik's mother. Beautiful lady; mind, body, spirit. His brother never really got over his mom and I getting a divorce and then, Erik came along. I had work and Alex's mom was busy with her job. Debbie, his mother, tried to keep up the charade that everything was great. I was just busy and his brother didn't really hate him. Kids, ya know. And then, she passed. I got lost in my work and I guess Erik just got lost." Silence fell between them for a long moment. "Next thing I know, Erik's telling me he's in love with another man and instead of being supportive, I shut him out."

Elliot listened and nodded. "Why wait until now to see him?"

"He called me about four years ago. Left a few voicemails on the machine. Wanted to know if we could talk. Said he had something important to tell me. But, I couldn't bring myself to do it. It's heartbreaking to hear your child tell a machine that he has cancer. He kept begging me to pick up the phone. He even came to the door, once." Shaking his head, Anders felt disgusted with himself. "They did a rape kit, for ya. My son made sure of that. Their lab is sending it to yours." Worry had creased his face for the latest of many times. His mind raced with new and old scenarios of what could have happened. He feared the answers but the questions nagged him to be asked.

Elliot's stomach clenched. "They tell you what happened?" He had grabbed the doctor, when he first arrived and was informed of the situation but wanted to see if Anders had been apprised.

Anders nodded. "Yea. They managed to get the bleeding under control and wrapped him up. Multiple fractures, concussion, and he might wake up in a few days." He blinked and stared at Erik's face. "Get this son of a bitch."

"We will." Elliot assured the man as his cell phone rang, in his pocket. "Why don't you be with him. He'd appreciate it. Excuse me." Retrieving the phone and walking away, for privacy, he answered the call. "Stabler." Olivia's voice told him of the search of Jake's car and the blood trace, in the trunk, while the search at Martinelli's job was a bust and Munch and Fin were still tracking down the man in question. 

"How is he?" Olivia's voice expressed concern.

Elliot turned back to see Captain Anders still standing at the window, watching his son sleep. "Captain Anders is here, watching over him. Detective Anders jumped in and secured the rape kit. Flushing Lab is sending it to Warner. They managed to stop the bleeding and have him sedated, now. Concussion and multiple rib fractures, broken arm, fractured hip. The list goes on. They told Anders Erik might wake up in a few days. I'm gonna stay with him for awhile."

Ending the call, Elliot went back over to where the elder Anders stood. "Can I get you some coffee, something to eat, from the machines?"

Shaking his head, Anders shifted and looked over at Stabler. "Got kids, detective?"

"Four."

"I used to watch my boys sleep. Tuck them in, check on them a few times, them stand at their door and imagine what they'd be like when they grew up. Now, I watch my grandson. He loves his new little sister. Maybe, I didn't try hard enough with my boys. If I had been more supportive of them, this wouldn't have happened." Anders sighed.

"What does your son, think about his brother, now?"

Anders shook his head. "Until tonight, I never thought about it. Before he left to get back to work, Alex never mentioned him. But, when he saw Erik, on that table," he paused, fighting for the words that choked him, "I think times have changed."

"Come on. I'll buy you some coffee." Elliot lead the captain away from the window and headed towards the cafeteria, for a talk.

 

Continued.


	5. Chapter 5

Residence of Gregory Martinelli  
9871 W. 34th Avenue  
Staten Island, NY  
9:00 AM

"What's your relationship like with your Jake?" Detective Tutuola asked as he and Detective Munch sat across from the elder man, in the plush front sitting room of the regal estate. In looking around the man's home, he had spotted numerous photos of the man's family as well as grand paintings and busts of the elder attourney but hardly any containing Jake.

The shrewd man stared at the two detectives. He had long become exhausted of his son's antics and dread the day when police would show up at his door and ask about him. "My son and his lifestyle is his own business. However, since he's been keeping company with that Matthews boy, I haven't seen him much." His taste in clothing had always been something to flaunt, even for casual dress, he chose Armani. His polished, manicured nails and clean image spoke volumes that he fancied himself above everyone else. 

Munch removed his pen and pad from his left inside coat pocket. "When was the last time you saw Jake?"

Mr. Martinelli scratched his head. His hair had gone completely white, in recent years but dyed it black, to keep his dignity. "About a month ago. He and that Matthews boy came for dinner."

"Erik Matthews?" John started writing in his pad.

"Yes. They ended up leaving after Marcus stopped by." Sitting back and adjusting his suitjacket, to keep from wrinkling, Martinelli took an annoyed breath. He stared at the two detectives with an almost physical tone that conveyed adamant disgust.

John looked up from his writing. "Marcus is your other son?"

A sigh of discontent. "Yes. My oldest boy."

"Something happen?" Fin spoke up. He had paid close attention to the man's mannerisms and attitude.

After a long pause, Mr. Martinelli shook his head. "That's not for me to say. I don't tell my boys whom to date and if Jacob wants to traipse around with some farmboy, instead of settling down, that's his business."

The two detectives looked at each other before Fin removed a 4x6 photo and showed it to the elder Martinelli. "Is this the man that Jake brought, that day?" Showing him the photo of Aaron Jasper's dating profile. He waited for the man to examine it before nodding. "The man in the photo's name is Aaron Jasper. His appearance was changed to resemble Erik Matthews, an attourney for your old law firm." 

Martinelli's brow furrowed as Fin removed another photo and showed it to him, this time showing him the real Erik Matthews. "No. That's the boy from the news. Dead kid." He stared at both photos and could barely tell the difference. His eyes had become tired from staring and, clearing his throat, he removed his reading glasses from the case on the table, beside the plush white sofa, and slipped them on, taking both photos to examine them closely.

Fin leaned forward and tapped the top of Erik's photo. "The real Erik Matthews was raped and assaulted by your son, Jake. He's recovering in the hospital." Tapping the top of Aaron Jasper's photo, he added, "Aaron Jasper was found dead, on a park bench, in Manhattan, Monday morning."

Shaking his head and standing up, the elder man dismissed the admission. "No. I'm not going to let you sit there and railroad my son. Jacob is not a murderer. You have nothing. This discussion is over."

As the detectives stood up, John stepped forward and accepted the two photos Martinelli handed him. "You said your other son had a disagreement with them. Which one was it with? Jake, or the man pretending to be Erik Matthews?"

"You're fishing, detective. Good day." With narrowed eyes and a sour expression, Martinelli turned and escorted both men out of his home. He stood in the foyer and watched them pull out of the circular drive, from the front window.

 

Detective Alex Anders  
Brooklyn Homicide Squad Room  
11:53 AM

Elliot and Olivia stepped through the doors to the Homicide Unit and scanned the semi-crowded room for the younger Anders. Olivia tapped Elliot on the arm and nodded over to a far desk, by the window, in the right corner of the room. Making their way over to him, they noticed that he sat at a desk, swamped with paperwork of cases as the detective, himself, had been on the phone with a contact. Coming to a stop beside his desk, they waited until he hung up the phone before Olivia spoke. "Detective Anders?" Holding up their badges, she introduced them. "I'm Detective Olivia Benson. This is my partner, Elliot Stabler, from Manhattan SVU. Is there somewhere we can talk?"

Alex stood up from his desk. Sighing and motioning for them to follow him to an interview room, he remained silent until he closed the door and sat down across from them. "Pop mentioned you'd be by." 

"Captain Anders said you secured your brother's rape kit. He told me you pushed the techs to rush the findings over to our lab. Why?" Elliot leaned forward and observed the detective's body language and expression.

Folding his hands on the table and shifting, uncomfortably, Alex sighed again and caught Elliot's eye. "My duty is to serve and protect. Even my brother."

Olivia looked up from writing. "How'd you know it was him?"

Looking to Benson, the detective gave a small smile. "Just because we haven't spoken in 15 years, doesn't mean we stop being brothers. When Pop told me Erik called him, a few years ago, I did some checking up on him. Pulled his license, drove by a few times, checked up on his work, that sort of thing. Before he decided to harass Pop, he talked to my mom."

"How do you know that?"

"She lives eight blocks from him. Apparently, she was his realtor and talked him into the house." Alex took a breath. "I was having supper with my mom when the call came in. A friend of mine works for Flushing Medical. She recognised Erik and called me. She knew Erik and I are brothers."

"What's her name?" Elliot asked.

"Dr. Linda Sayers."

Elliot shifted. "How does she know you two are brothers?"

"I dated her in High School."

Olivia finished writing and looked up, again. "You said you drove by his house a few times, ever see this man enter or leave?" She slid a small photo of Aaron Jasper across the table and watched the detective's expression. 

Alex shook his head. "No."

"How about this man?" Olivia slid the second photo across the table and, again, observed the detective's reaction.

"Yea. Jake Martinelli. His old man bailed him out a few times." Alex leaned back in his chair.

Olivia wrote down the response before adding, "What was the charge?"

"Disturbing the peace, public intoxication."

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "You never saw Erik, during these arrests?"

Alex looked from Olivia to Elliot and shrugged. "Not my collars. And, from what I know of the Martinellis, New York is their playground." Brown eyes blinked back at the two detectives as he answered. His brown hair had been kept short with sideswept bangs that conveyed little resemblance to Erik. He had shown little emotion towards the mention of Jake but flinched when he was told of Erik's involvement with the man in question. "What does Martinelli have to do with him?" He tapped the photo of Aaron Jasper.

"His name is Aaron Jasper. He was found dead, in a Manhattan park, Monday morning. Martinelli was one of his dates and your brother is his counsel." Olivia tapped each photo as she explained the connection.

Brow furrowing, Alex sat back in his chair and took a moment to let the information sink in. "What's the connection between Erik and Jasper?"

Olivia slid another photo across the table and placed it next to Aaron Jasper's. "Erik's driver's license photo." She paused a moment as Alex stared at two photos side by side. "Someone had Jasper change his appearance to match your brother and then murdered him."

"Why?" 

Elliot shifted. "We could ask you the same question. Your father said you two were never really close, growing up, but you jumped right in, last night, when you heard about Erik in the hospital." Elliot made eye contact with Alex.

Nodding with the sense of suspicion falling on him, the detective cleared his throat and leaned forward in his chair. "When I was 10, Erik was 5, 6,..... around that age, Pop wanted to take us to the zoo. Family thing. Just he, my brother and I. I was still mad over my parents getting a divorce. I told him he wasn't part of the family so, he couldn't go. The next morning, he said he didn't feel good and didn't want to go. Pop took me out to the park, instead. When we got home, my mom sat me down and asked why I thought Erik was to blame for them splitting up. You see, after we left, she and his mom asked him why he didn't want to go to the zoo. He told her what I said, to him. I thought Pop would lose his mind but, he didn't. He told me it happened long before Erik came about. When Debbie was going through cancer treatments, Erik nearly broke himself doing things for her. After she died, he and I had a long talk. I knew he was gay, then. Didn't care. I was mad at Erik for taking away my family. I thought it was his fault but, it wasn't. It took going through the same situation, myself, to realise that. Before last night, the last time Erik and I actually saw each other, was when I caught him in bed with some college chump from NYU. Guy told me he was giving Erik a physical."

"Why didn't Erik approach you, four years ago?" Elliot scribbled in his notes before looking up, again.

Taking a deep breath, the detective shifted uneasily. "The last thing I said to him might have stopped him from that. After I chased his 'doctor' down the street, I told him we weren't brothers."

"You said him being gay didn't bother you." Elliot's brow furrowed.

Alex laughed shortly. "That so-called doctor, was my roommate. Also, my best friend. After that, changed rooms and never spoke to either one again. Erik and I might have our differences but he's still my little brother. Aside from checking up on him, I've stayed out of Erik's life. My family doesn't even know about him. He made that choice when he slept with my best friend." Hearing his captain's tap on the door before it was opened to reveal Homicide Captain, Shirley Camden, a 30-year veteran of the force, who had just transferred to Homicide, Alex thanked them for time and stood up to leave.

 

Medical Examiner's lab  
Melinda Warner's Office  
30 Monday, Octobre 1:23 PM

Melinda moved from her desk to retrieve some slides to show the detectives her findings. "The epithelials found in the components of the rubber tubing was a match to Aaron Jasper. Also, the ends of the tubing contained strands of hair that was also a match to Jasper. The used condom that was pulled from Martinelli's car was a match for Aaron Jasper and Jacob Martinelli. A third strand of DNA was present but showed deterioration, possibly from radiation exposure. I ran that DNA strand against a hair follicle I found tucked underneath the collar of the suitjacket and came up with your counselour, Erik Matthews."

"So, either Erik was lying about not knowing Jasper or Jasper was purposely dressed in Erik Matthews' suit, as a statement." Olivia took her turn, looking through the microscope, at the findings of Erik Matthews' DNA and then Aaron Jasper's DNA. 

Elliot shook his head. "I still think we're missing something. If Erik framed himself but put the blame on Jake, neither wins. Erik has terminal cancer. There is no last laugh, after that kind of diagnosis."

Olivia looked over at Warner, who listened but said nothing. "Anything on the rape kit, Flushing Medical sent over?"

"Seminal fluid is a match to Jacob Martinelli. Upon examination of Erik Matthews, himself, and cross-referencing with the report that accompanied the kit, it was not consensual sex." Warner held up her own reported findings for the two to look over.

Elliot nodded. "One more charge to hold Jake on."

Sighing, Olivia answered her phone. "Benson." She paused to listen to Munch telling her the latest news before ending the call. "Munch and Fin got a tip on Jacob Martinelli's whereabouts. They're bringing him in. Also, Cragen says the hospital called; Erik's awake."

 

Flushing Hospital Medical Centre  
Room 415  
3:15 PM

Tapping on the door as he and Olivia entered, Elliot came to a stop at Erik's left as Olivia paused to stand at the foot of the bed. "How ya feeling, Counselour?" The new room had been more private than the first room and had been situated oppositely. The bed was now on the right wall and hidden from outside view by a curtain, over the window. Tinting on the window, to the outside, made the room look more gloomy than it actually was. It was a smaller room and only housed one patient as the other did not.

Erik turned his head, from the window, to see the detective now standing beside him. Rolling his eyes and sighing in annoyance and nervously shifting, in his bed, he cleared his throat and did his best not to rasp as he changed the subject. "I have no idea where my client is, Detective Stabler. Please, leave me alone." His left leg itched and tingled as the elevated brace made it impossible to even attempt to touch. His right arm, crooked and resting atop a small, wheeled around tray had been heavily wrapped in plaster. His ribs had been wrapped but loosely, to allow him to breathe, and ached with every inhale he took. With his free hand, he quickly ran his fingers through his hair, trying to make himself presentable.

Elliot smiled. "We know where your client is, actually. We heard you were awake and came down to see how you were feeling." He paused a moment to look over the young man's injuries. "You took one Hell of a beating, for a man, in your condition."

Trying to readjust himself but failing due to his injuries, Erik flinched as Elliot moved a hand to help. "I'm fine." He made no move to look at either detective but pulled the white knit blanket closer around him. His breath caught as Elliot leaned in to speak to him.

"Can I help you with that, Counselour?" Elliot hadn't said it to intimidate him but to ask the question that weighed on his mind. He knew full well the lawyer felt vulnerable and was only being discreet.

"Elliot." Olivia had observed Erik's expression as her partner moved closer to him and reminded her partner where they were. "Mr. Matthews, part of our job is to help victims. You were not only beaten but sexually assaulted, as well. The rape kit confirms it was your client that assaulted you. At the moment, we're here to ask you if you wish to press charges." Her voice was calm and soft as she watched his breathing patterns change with the closeness of her partner.

Shaking his head, Erik continued to stare at the blanket but stole quick glances over at Stabler, as the male detective stepped back. "No." When he finally did look up to acknowledge her, his eyes followed Olivia as she made her way from the foot of the bed, to stand at his right.

"Erik, you were a victim of a sexual assault. Let us help you."

Sighing, again, and tilting his head back and closing his eyes for a moment, Erik shook his head again. "Jake was my partner and client. No jury would convict him on a 'lover's quarrel.' Sorry, detective. I can't help you." His attention was drawn to the doorway as a nurse had entered to check his vitals and machines.

The two detectives looked at each other before Elliot removed his handcuffs and placed one bracelet on Erik's left wrist and the other on the plastic railing of the bed. "Erik Matthews, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." 

"For what, are you arresting me?" Shocked, Erik stared at the cuff on his wrist and then shot Elliot a quizzical look.

"Aiding and abetting a known felon and conspiracy of murder." 

Erik's jaw dropped. "Conspiracy of murder? Of whom?"

"Aaron Jasper."

"What?!"

 

Continued.


	6. Chapter 6

"Stabler. My office." Captain Cragen opened his office door and called out to the detective, who had just come in to work. 

Elliot set his cup of coffee on his desk and draped his coat over the back of his chair before making his way to the captain's office, closing the door behind him, as he entered. He looked confused to find Karen Honnett, a well-established attourney from Caldwell & Jameson, leaning against the desk and Captain Cragen standing behind it. "Captain?"

Captain Cragen sighed, tiredly. With his hands in his pockets, he stood there and blinked at the detective. "Ms. Honnett and I have negotiated Erik Matthews' release into her custody, pending hearing. Also, I received a call from Matthews, informing me of why Ms. Honnett paid me a visit. Apparently, during your visit, last week, her client was put in a vulnerable position when you overstepped your bounds and arrested Matthews for conspiracy to commit murder, after being assaulted and raped by his own client. He also conveyed, to me, the feeling of vulnerability when in your presence."

"He called his lawyer in because I made him feel uncomfortable?" Elliot eyed the tall, older and slendre woman, to his left. "Captain, he has limited range of motion. I was merely trying to help him. As for his arrest, his clothing, his medication and his oxygen tubing, complete with both his and Martinelli's prints were on the victim."

Ms. Honnett shifted and pushed off of the desk and folded her arms, in front of her. "Erik has been an exemplary part of our firm. He understands the law, inside and out. There is no indication your victim changed his appearance to look like my client or donned Erik Matthews' clothing out of duress. My client and Mr. Martinelli were in a relationship that ended and possessions were confused and mixed up in the separation process. We can argue the little things down to a matter of your victim obliging himself with my client's possessions." Her voice was light with a hint of a Texas twang. Long, board-straight auburn hair had been loosely held behind her by a thin, black band. Her bangs hung low enough to cover her dark and managed eyebrows, accenting her hazel eyes. Crimson jacket over her business-casual black dress, spoke volumes that she knew what she was talking about and did very well at her job. In turning back to Captain Cragen, she added, "Erik is asking for Detective Stabler to refrain from approaching him, unless I or a third party, is present. Good day, gentlemen." Exiting the office, she flashed a smug smile over to Detective Benson, who had been waiting for her partner and his news of the case.

There had been a moment of silence between detective and captain before Cragen pulled out his chair and sat down. "Where are we with Martinelli?"

"Since John and Fin picked him up for rape and assaulting Matthews, he's sitting in Rikers, not talking. Cabot's been talking to his new lawyer but, he refuses to budge. The used condom that was found under the driver's seat of his own vehicle, places him with Aaron Jasper, in coitus, before the time of death. Warner also found trace of seat fibres consistent with Martinelli's backseat, embedded into the weaving of Matthews' suitjacket Jasper was found in. We can hold him for murder suspicion but if Matthews doesn't come forward with the assault and rape, any judge would throw the case out on a technicality." Elliot sighed and shifted as he caught the captain up.

Cragen thought for a moment. "So, Matthews is the key to get a conviction on the Jasper murder?"

Nodding, Elliot slipped his hands into his pockets. "I think he knows something and perhaps, Martinelli assaulted him to keep the secret quiet."

Cragen folded his hands and placed them on his desk. "How far did you get with Matthews' brother?"

Elliot shrugged and shook his head. "They parted ways 15 years ago, Captain. I think we'd have better luck with his father."

"How so?"

"Well, talking with him, the night Matthews was attacked, he stated Erik reached out to him, when he was diagnosed. I think seeing his son, in that condition, might be enough to convince Erik to testify against his client." Stepping forward, Elliot sighed in thought.

Cragen placed a hand over his mouth, in thought. He was silent for long while as he weighed the scenarios and possible outcomes. "Alright. Tread lightly. Matthews is shaky enough." He paused and looked up as Elliot turned to leave. "Elliot, Matthews only wanted you held back from approaching him but, not off the case. I'm guessing that's his way of wanting to know the truth, also. If handled right, he could put this whole case to rest."

Pausing and turning to look at his captain, Elliot exhaled and nodded.

 

Erik Matthews Residence  
11:53 AM

Erik reclined on the sofa in the living room. He dozed, waiting for his medication to take effect. The pain in his hip throbbed but began to numb as the pain medication took hold. His breathing slowed and a dream began. His first day home and already he was reliving what had happened two weeks prior. A soft whimper escaped him.

_The door opened and he was pulled inside by an intoxicated Jake._

_"Jake, please, can I just rest for a minute?" Erik sounded tired. His voice had been hoarse from speaking all day. Placing his briefcase down, on the floor, beside the coffee table and then sitting down on the sofa, he closed his eyes a moment before the weight of his ex-lover shifted the cushion as Jake sat down beside him._

_Jake's hands were all over him, tugging at his clothes, his lips kissed and sucked at Erik's neck as Erik struggled to break free. Fingers at the back of his head, pulling at his hair as he was being shoved back to lie down on the sofa. "No, please. I don't think we should do this." His stomach started to churn._

_With a loud growl in Erik's right ear, Jake ripped at the counselour's shirt. "C'mon, Erik. Live a little." Trailing kisses from jawline to collarbone and then moving to slurp his way down Erik's chest, Jake busied himself with Erik's belt and pants fastenings. "You want this." He smirked as he looked up to the younger man's expression. Undoing his own pants and stroking himself, he slithered back up to kiss Erik's lips before being shoved off and onto the floor. "What the Hell's wrong with you?!"_

_"I said, no." Erik sat up and moved to cover himself._

_Jake scoffed. "Why not? We used to fuck all the time, after you got home." He stood and moved away from the sofa, his back to Erik._

_"That was before you called it quits and I got sick." His breathing was eratic as Erik tried to control himself. His hands shook. "You're under suspicion of murder, Jake! Now isn't the time to get romantic."_

_Jake turned back around and sneered down at his attourney. "No, just when you decide to take that little blue pill and beg me to screw you? What? Can't you get it up for a toy? And that damn 'I'm sick' bullshit is getting pretty damn thin, Erik!" Grabbing the younger man by the arms and pulling him to his feet, Jake shook him, inciting his anger. "Maybe, you have the hots for that damn Detective Stabler? Is that it?" Jake hissed._

_"No." He was laughed at after being shoved back down, onto the sofa. Not having any time to move, Erik was pinned against the seat cushions as Jake came at him, again. "Stop, Jake!"_

Erik's breathing became more and more erratic as the nightmare continued. Whimpering and groaning, he awoke to find his neighbour, Mrs. Harris, standing over him with a worried expression. Drawing ragged and wheezing breaths, Erik swallowed and shifted on the cushion. "I'm fine, Mrs. Harris." A faint smile and a quick look around the room, finding everything back in place from the maid service he requested.

Mrs. Harris' expression didn't change as he stood up from leaning over. "We heard screaming. Are you sure you want to stay here, Erik? You shouldn't be alone, in your condition." She stopped herself from helping him sit up, as she wasn't sure he wanted to be touched. "Why don't you let me pack a bag and you come stay in our guest room, for a few nights, huh?"

"No thank you, ma'am. I don't want to be a burden." Shaking his head, Erik cleared his throat.

Kneeling in front of him and placing a hand on the cushion, beside him, she softened to a motherly tone. "Erik, what he did almost killed you. On top of that, you're fighting cancer, by yourself. Now, Thomas made up the guest room and says you are more than welcome to stay with us, until you feel better."

Staring into her pleading eyes, Erik opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Mrs. Harris stood up and went to answer the door, in the foyer. "May I help you?"

"Yes, ma'am. My name is Captain Russell Anders, Brooklyn Homicide, retired. Is this the residence of Erik Matthews?" The man at the door addressed himself with his formal voice, the same voice he had used for 40 years, on the job. He had dressed in a suit and did his best to be as casual as possible, without seeming too formal. 

"Homicide?" Mrs. Harris looked confused.

Erik had listened to the conversation and his eyes widened as he recognised the name the man had given. "It's alright, Mrs. Harris. Let him in." His mouth trembled and he felt like a child again as his father stepped inside and turned, making his way into the living room, where Erik sat. Swallowing his fear and looking up into his father's eyes, he relaxed and greeted the man. "Captain Anders."

"Son."

Mrs. Harris stood in the entryway. "Is everything alright, Erik?"

Erik turned his head and sighed. "Mrs. Harris, may I introduce Russell Anders, my father. Captain Anders, my neighbour, Mrs. Harris." His tone flattened as he caught the elder man's expression. 

As the two greeted each other, Mrs. Harris excused herself to the kitchen to prepare something to eat for Erik to have with his medication. She wasn't too far away that she couldn't come running, if he called for her.

He waited for her to turn the corner before looking back to his father. "I haven't been your son in 20 years. Why show up at my door, now?" The resentment of years gone by welled up as he stared up at his father. He had missed his family but didn't want to be let down by a whim of guilt that would quickly pass. His shoebox of memories were not something he cared to dwell on, on any given moment, however, he had taken pride to collect anything on either father and/or brother he could find.

Anders cleared his throat and sat down in a chair, across from Erik, the coffee table, between them. "You walked out of my door." 

"No. You told me to get out because I wasn't as perfect as Alex." Erik snapped. He had rehearsed over and over what he had wanted to tell his father but, it had never sounded like what came out.

Captain Anders took a deep breath and started to respond in anger but seeing Erik wince, in pain, as he shifted on the sofa. "I love both of my sons. Your mother--"

"Died. She was sick and you were busy. She was dying and you were nowhere to be found. She died.... and I was left alone." Erik contained himself from becoming too emotional over years of pent up emotions. "So, why are you here, now?"

Sighing and shifting positions, Anders leaned forward. He thought very carefully about what he wanted to say. "You're right. I left you both alone, when you needed me, and I'm sorry. You just grew up so fast. And the day you left was the day I thought would give you some time to think about things. I thought you had moved on, found a new, exciting life. But, when I saw you, in that bed, lying there, helpless," he paused to take a breath. Anders changed the subject to stop himself from falling apart. "I saw you, in that courtroom, and I didn't care that you were defending that scum. I was proud of my boy." He shook his head. "I don't think I ever told you, how proud I was. Of both my boys." He stood and walked away before stopping. 

"Why now, Pop?" Erik trembled but didn't turn to look at his father's back.

"I was talking to a Detective Stabler of Manhattan Special Vics. He uh, told me that my son had been raped by his own client slash lover, in his own home. And that he had no one in his corner, for support. You woulda been proud of your brother. Came in, made sure they got things done, bagged evidence, got the kit, and then spent an hour with you, in your room. You know, that was the first time in years I saw you and your brother in the same room? He saw his baby brother, in that hospital bed with tubes and wires, goin' every which way.... He was about as scared and hurt and angry as I am now." Anders closed his eyes and turned around, from staring at the entryway. "Forty-three years on the job and I never cracked. The victims your brother and I saw never got their chance to put their attacker away. We rely on witnesses and evidence. I couldn't protect my boy from a monster, but I can't sit back and watch you punish yourself for my mistakes." Coming closer and sitting on the end of the sofa, Captain Anders silently pleaded with his son, who still avoided eye contact. "Talk to them, Erik."

"He's my client."

"He raped you." The three words choked him as he said them. The moment had been surreal for father and son to talk about but, it hadn't been anything Captain Anders hadn't been through before.

 

Residence of Marcus Martinelli  
241C N. 36th Street  
Yonkers  
4:53 PM

Olivia and Fin stood in the middle of the foyer, piles of fresh tile stacked around them. The crackling sound of plastic as Marcus walked up to them from coming down the stairs. "Marcus Martinelli, Detective Benson and Tutuola. We'd like to ask you a few questions concerning your brother, Jacob."

"Yea? Thanks to him and that little trollop, he's been bringing around, I'm having to retile my entire bottom floor. I knew that kid was trouble, the second I met him." The older brother by three years, Marcus had been the only one of two brothers and one sister to make something of himself. He hadn't approved of Jake being homosexual and flaunting his lifestyle in front of Marcus and his family. Yet, he tolerated his younger brother in hopes he would wise up and make something of himself.

Fin looked around the room. "Mind if we ask what happened?"

Marcus exhaled his frustration. "A couple weeks ago, Jake and that bitch of his decided to play house." He paused a moment to instruct the painters, in the next room, what colours he wanted the walls, before coming back to the two detected and finishing his statement. "He told me he was the guy he was seein' on the side, got into a pissin' match with him and he needed a place to cool off. One night, I walk in, to open the house up for my family, while we have the main house in Islip cleaned, and their tweaked out, arguin' throwing my best wines, 40 year old scotchs and anything they could find in the fridge, at each other. Screaming bloody murder."

"Is this the man that was with your brother?" Olivia held up the 3x5 photo of Erik Matthews.

"No. That's Erik. Good kid. Good head on his shoulders. Sucks that he knows my brother."

Olivia held up the second photo. "This man?" The photo of Aaron Jasper's dating profile.

Again, Marcus shook his head. "No. This guy was older. Like a Jason, or Jackson...... Justin. That's the guy."

"Are you sure?" Fin cocked his head to one side and eyed the man as he thought. 

"Positive. He's been talkin' about building some house in Boston and conned Jake into drawing up plans for him. Said it was gonna be their 'love nest', when it gets done." Curly black hair fell into his eyes, damp with sweat, and he wiped it away. Standing as tall as Fin, he eyed what the man was writing but turned to watch the front door open and his tilers walk in. "Give us a minute, in here. The floor's ready in the kitchen, if you want to start there." A graduate of School of Criminal Justice, he had worked closely with law enforcement before and had been good at his job.

Olivia waited for the workers to walk out of the entranceway and head toward the kitchen, before asking her next question. "How do you know Erik?"

Marcus thought back, folding his arms and rocking back on his heels. "Jake brought him along for my parents' anniversary party, about six years ago. They had just started their relationship. Erik had just graduated from law school so, I talked to my father about getting him a job." Nodding to the photo of Aaron Jasper, Marcus sneered. "When I saw that kid's picture on the news, I thought he had actually killed the kid."

"You thought Jake killed Erik?" Fin asked.

"No. That Justin guy. They found each other on some dating site. Jake was still seeing Erik. Then, one night, he shows up with that Justin guy, hanging off of him. I asked him about Erik, he said they called it quits. A month or so ago, he started bringing around the twink that was killed." Marcus checked his watch for the third time in five minutes.

Fin noted the man's irritation towards the questions but continued. "Your dad said you two had an argument, at his place, a while back. Care to say what it was about?"

Marcus shifted and sighed. "Yea, they were flaunting that ring the twink was wearing like it was some new baby, or something. Jake proposed to some kid he dressed up like Erik. I asked Jake if he told the real Erik yet, and that's when that twink threw a temper tantrum, in my father's dining room. He stormed out and Jake crawled after him, spitting nonsense about how he 'couldn't live without him' and that 'it was all just a mistake.' Jake's always been a player but, Erik Matthews, I liked him. Ever since he got sick, Jake's made his life Hell."

"Thank you for your time." Olivia smiled as they turned and left the house, listening to Marcus shout at someone over paint dripping on some "rare books." Olivia waited until they were in the car before she spoke up. "That means Justin Paxton lied about not knowing if Aaron Jasper was involved with anyone else."

Fin nodded. "It also means Paxton and Martinelli knew each other and Aaron Jasper was seein' both guys. Seems to me, that's motive for murder."

 

Erik Matthews Residence  
5:43 PM

Elliot knocked on the door, once more, and waited for the door to open. He had been on his way home when he decided to stop and pay a visit to the young counselour and try to get him to come forward as a victim, against his own client. Elliot knew it was a long shot but, had only to try.

Opening the door and sighing out of exhaustion, Erik blinked. "Is there something I can help you with, Detective Stabler?" His voice sounded hoarse and fragile. Gray sweatpants and an NYU sweatshirt covered the shivering young man. 

Taking in the disheveled appearance, Elliot stepped back up to the top step. He had stepped down after knocking to give Erik some space. "I uh, came to apologise. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, while you were in the hospital." He paused a moment when he heard voices, in the next room. "If you're busy, I won't keep you." The next sound he heard was the ding of a timer ending it's cycle.

The door opened wider and Erik drowsily stepped back. "Cooking show." He turned and hobbled his way slowly back to where he had been curled up, on the sofa. Hearing the door close, behind him, he silently prayed the detective had let him alone. Picking up the colourful, week-long pill sorter, he struggled to open the Evening tab. Trying to hold the sorter in his right hand and open the tab with his left, due to the cast on his right arm and a thin piece going between his thumb and forefinger, he growled his frustration as he was unable to open the tab. Taking a deep breath, Erik flinched as Elliot gently took hold of the pillcase and opened the tab, dumping out the five, different pills into Erik's left hand. "Thank you." He turned and looked at his empty glass and moved to reach for it. Another flinch as Elliot picked it up and stepped back to move to the kitchen. 

"Why don't you sit down. I'll get you some water or juice?" Elliot watched as Erik took his time in sitting back down, on the sofa, before moving to the kitchen to fill the glass.

"Water's fine. Thank you." When Elliot returned with the glass of water, Erik placed the pills in an indent his sweatshirt had made and then one by one, swallowed them, sipping the water after placing each pill in his mouth. 

Elliot looked about the space Erik sat in the middle of. Tissues, small, plastic wastecan that was half-full, Erik's pillow from his bedroom and blanket, told Elliot that the young man had decided to camp out on the same sofa he had been raped on. "You sleep down here?"

Looking about himself, Erik shrugged. "I would if I slept. Forced to cash in my vacation time. Bored, mostly but medication relaxes me enough to nap." Lethargy began to seep in, again. He yawned and looked down to the pillow, beside him, on his right. "Was there a reason why you're here, detective?" Drowsily, he looked up at Elliot, still standing in front of him, holding the glass of water.

Placing the 3/4 full glass down, on the glass coaster, on the coffee table, Elliot shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "I um, I came here to apologise. And, to see how you were doing. Is there anything I can get you?" Elliot looked around him for a plate or something that indicated he had eaten but found nothing. "Have you eaten?" He hadn't wanted to leave Erik alone, on the chance he might be needed for something. "Do you have someone staying with you? Checking in on you?"

"Mrs. Harris shared some pancakes, this morning. She's been checking in on me, every few hours or so. Why?" Erik yawned again and leaned back, fighting to stay awake. He watched as Elliot turned to make his way back to the kitchen to fix something for Erik to eat. His eyes couldn't help but slide down Elliot's back to stare at the detective's firm, khakied backside. Closing his eyes for a moment and listening, he began to envision what kissing Detective Stabler would taste like. Catching himself as his head fell back, Erik opened his eyes to find Elliot walking back with a small plate with diagonal cut pieces of toast with apricot jam on them. As Elliot lowered the plate, Erik took a piece and reluctantly thanked the detective, again. Finishing one piece and passing on the second, he sighed and struggled to keep his eyes open. He pushed himself up, off of the sofa and paused to regain his balance. "If there's nothing else, Detective Stabler......?" He took a step and feel forward, into Elliot's arms as the detective swiftly caught the young man from falling.

Elliot felt Erik's free arm wrap around him as Erik clung to him. They stood there for a long moment and he listened to Erik breathe in labored waves. "Been a long time since you were able to cry on someone's shoulder. Hasn't it?" He could feel the frail form beneath the clothes and the heavy head on his shoulder. Exhaling and rubbing a spot on Erik's back, Elliot didn't know whether to move or stand still a little while longer. "Why don't I help you to lie down and you get some rest." The smell of Erik's apple scented shampoo told him that the medication would eventually wear off enough for him to be coherent and could come back to ask the counselour to testify against his client. At the current standing, Elliot didn't want to pressure him into anything without rational thought.

Lifting his head and stepping back, Erik nodded. He then let Elliot guide him back to the sofa, pressing against the taut and muscular chest as he stepped backward. The scent of the man's cologne was intoxicating and Erik wanted to press his lips against the warm skin but stopped himself as he wasn't sure Elliot would approve. As his head hit the pillow and Elliot hovered above him, Erik had to swallow his first instinct to pull the man closer to him. It had been so long since he had actually wanted intimacy without help from a little blue pill, that he ended up shrugging and facing away from the man he had dreamt about since first meeting him. His last glimpse of Detective Stabler was that of the man covering him with the baby blue, knit blanket that had been carelessly thrown over the far arm of the sofa. He fell sound asleep as he heard Elliot sit down in an adjacent chair and sift through a magazine, from the coffee table.

Something had compelled Elliot to stay while Erik slept. The young man looked exhausted and pale, as if he had forced himself to wake up out of fear of being attacked, again. He could tell Erik needed the rest and seemed to rest more easily knowing that the detective was watching over him. Closing the magazine, he folding his hands, in his lap and studied Erik's sleeping form. He thought for a moment about holding the counselour, after catching him from falling. The closeness of the younger man and the way Erik held on for dear life before remembering who he held on to. He checked his watch before picking up the magazine, again and flipping through it.

 

Continued.


	7. Chapter 7

_The nips started on his jugular and slowly worked their way down to his collarbone. Strong, calloused hands held him at his waist before wrapping around him and drawing him closer. Their bodies pressed against one another and Erik gasped as he felt Elliot's firm manhood. His hands slid effortlessly up the detective's chest to shove the cotton button up shirt aside; buttons popping as they are ripped from their bindings. Their lips met in mad frenzy. His hands cradled the back of Stabler's head, holding him there. Elliot's left hand moved to stroke Erik's soft hair before being caught, gently. Kissing the palm and then moving to suck the tip of Elliot's forefinger as his own hand gently slipped off the gold band from Elliot's ring finger, letting the ring drop to the floor._

_Erik kissed his way down Elliot's bare chest, pausing to give attention to a pert left nipple. Another pause as he dipped his tongue into Stabler's navel. Down on his knees, he glanced up as he unfastened the leather belt and pants fastenings, shoving the material aside and pulling the white briefs down, Erik kissed the shaft before letting his tongue lick and tease the head of Elliot's manhood. Slowly, he worked at the head, licking and sucking before dipping his head to swallow more of the erection. With each dip of his head, he took in more and more, sucking harder and harder. Erik could feel the hands gripping his hair as he reveled in the sounds of soft grunts and growls emitting from the male detective. Erik sucked harder, feeling the fuzzy, delicate sacks draw up and tighten before he was pulled away and up to his feet. They kissed, again, as Elliot eased him to lie down on the soft, pillowy bed._

_"I want you." The whisper in Erik's ear drew a moan as Elliot undressed him._

_Erik swallowed, shallowly. "Please." With his head on the pillow, he stole glimpses of the muscular detective, inching his way up Erik's body. He shivered with anticipation as he caught Elliot's lustful gaze. A gasp as he felt Elliot's tongue trace a line from hip to collarbone as Elliot carefully spread Erik's legs apart and nestle himself between them. Reaching up to grip the detective's hips as Elliot slid effortlessly inside him, Erik panted. He had wanted this for so long; the closeness of someone who cared for him. His legs involuntarily twitched as they spread wider for Elliot to reposition himself for better leverage. A slow and careful rhythm started. Erik felt as if he were being pulled apart; split from his rectum as Elliot's thick, firm manhood pushed its way into him. He gasped, loudly, and gripped Elliot's sides._

_Elliot watched the range of expressions play in waves over Erik's face. Bending down, close to Erik's ear, Elliot whispered, "tell me you want me."_

_Their eyes met, for what seemed like forever. "I want you."_

_Elliot pushed in more and Erik groaned. Kissing Erik, once more, their tongues collided and, for a moment, Elliot tasted himself on Erik's tongue. He moved from Erik's mouth and hungrily nipped and licked at Erik's jawline and neck, moving to his shoulder as each thrust in forced a groan and pleasurable sigh from the man beneath him._

_Erik's fingers dug into Elliot's hips before moving to wrap his arms around the older man. His nails scratched thin red lines down Elliot's back as nirvana approached. With every deep thrust in, Erik could feel himself being stretched and filled, completely. He could feel Elliot's groin slap against his backside, each time becoming more forceful as Elliot neared release. "Please. Please come." A throaty growl as his wishes were heard. He gasped loudly as warm, thick fluid shot up, into his channel._

_Both heaving breaths and smiling as they stayed locked together, kissing and embracing each other. Numbness set in as the image faded._

Erik opened his eyes to a darkened room. The television was still playing but with little to no sound. A small moan as he turned his head to see if Detective Stabler had actually stayed. Breathing a sigh of relief as he found himself alone, in the room, he groaned as he shoved himself to sit up. The entryway light had been on but dimmed, as not to disturb him. He listened for a moment, as noise from the kitchen wafted in. "Hello?" He listened again as the sounds stopped and footsteps came closer.

"Good. You're awake!" Mrs. Harris smiled, holding up a plate with a sandwich on it. "Hungry?"

He nodded and covered his eyes as she flipped on the lightswitch to the lamp, beside him. "Detective Stabler leave?" He asked as she set the plate down, on a tray and placed it over his lap. 

Mrs. Harris nodded. "About an hour ago. He said you were sleeping so soundly that he didn't want to wake you. He said you really needed to sleep." 

Taking a bite of his corner cut sandwich, Erik looked up at the clock, over his television, that sat in a large, oak entertainment centre, to his left, and couldn't believe the time. "Ten thirty?" 

"Afraid so. And, you needed it." Opening his bedtime pill tab, she moved to scoop up the water glass, to fill it up with fresh water. "Your calendar says you have a doctor's appointment, tomorrow morning. Did you need a ride?" She asked as she returned with glass of water and placed it on the coaster, on the table.

Erik had been grateful that his neighbours had been so kind to him. Yet, he wondered why. "Oh, I can take a cab, ma'am. Thank you." Taking another bite of his sandwich half, he shifted and instantly regretted the movement as a sharp pain ran through his chest. Pausing in his chewing and wrenching his eyes closed as he waited for the pain to subside, Erik held his breath. He exhaled as the tightness in his chest released and the pain melted away. When he opened them again, she was standing in front of him.

Mrs. Harris shook her head. "Nonsense. Those cabbies are merciless. It's a wonder any of them have valid licenses. I'll be over at about 9:30 to see if you need help getting ready. Okay?" Sitting down, she took a breath. "Erik, you don't have to feel guilty about bothering us. We know it isn't easy, fighting cancer, all by yourself. And then, to have this mess get out of hand." She paused again as he finished chewing the last bite of the first sandwich half. "Our daughter, Jenny, passed when she was 15. She fought so hard against her cancer. Stomach cancer. It was just too strong, for her. She was Thomas's baby girl and my little angel. Our boys never got over losing their sister. So, anything we can do to help, you just ask. Alright?"

Erik smiled and reluctantly nodded. "Thanks."

 

Interrogation Room  
Justin Paxton  
9:45 AM

Olivia leaned over the table and stared down at the man, in the chair. "It seems you forgot to mention the small fact that you and Jacob Martinelli were involved, while you were dating Aaron Jasper." Her patience had run thin of the wild goose chase. She had spent the night going over all of the information they had gathered on all three suspects until her head hurt. Her coffee had gotten stronger as the morning wore on. 

Justin shrugged with a grin. "I wasn't aware it needed to be said. The last I heard, you were still looking for the killer." Justin reclined back in the chair and watched the female detective.

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Taking a seat across from him, she watched his reaction. 

They stared at each other for a long moment before Justin shrugged, again, and blinked back with a smile, "What's time, when two people are in love?"

"How about four people?" Olivia's temper had started to climb from the lack of straight answers Justin had been providing. "You both were seeing Aaron Jasper, at the same time Jake was having an on-again-off-again relationship with Erik Matthews. Jake and Erik had been dating for some time so, chances are, your 'main squeeze' was playing you, too." Concealing her relief as she noticed a spark of anger in her statement. "Pretty hard to remain faithful after finding out you're not good enough for your own boyfriend, isn't it?"

Justin said nothing, only stared at her.

Olivia cleared her throat and continued. "What was the final blow? You seeing your lover with Aaron, or Erik?"

Justin shook his head in anger. "The bitch didn't deserve him."

Olivia's brow furrowed. "What 'bitch', Justin? Aaron Jasper? Or, Erik Matthews?" A chill raced down her spine as she watched the architect across from her. Her eyes narrowed as she studied his expression, deeper. "You see, Justin, I think you saw Jake and Aaron getting romantic and, as much as it started out as a little 'con' for you and Jake to get your rocks off, it hit a nerve. Did Jake do something or tell him something that he promised you, and you didn't like it? Or, was it that Jake was playing house with Erik Matthews, instead of moving in with you? So, I think, you came up with a plan to get Jake's attention away from both Erik and Aaron and back to just you and Jake. But, you couldn't just let him off the hook for two-timing you with two other guys, could you? Jake was yours. So, you had to punish him. Didn't you? I think that you waited for Aaron and Jake to have their fling and then, you killed Aaron and dressed him up in Erik Matthews' clothing and laid him out on the park bench." She paused a moment for him to register her theory.

Justin ran his tongue over his top front teeth. After a sigh and a moment of silence, he leaned forward and stared at Olivia, calmly. "Lawyer. Now."

A knock at the door prompted Olivia to rise and leave the room. Shutting the door behind her, she could only shake her head at her captain and ADA. "Without the name, we can't arrest him for Aaron Jasper's murder. Back to square one." 

Alex Cabot stared at the man on the other side of the glass, as he sat in the chair and stared back at the one-way mirror. "I've asked Judge Crittendon for a warrant to search his business and home. It should be coming through, soon. Find me something that proves Justin was in on the murder, if not acted alone. Maybe, he'll feel more sociable with Man 2."

Footsteps coming closer prompted all three to turn and look at the person making their way to them. 

"Detective Benson." A familiar voice called to Olivia from a few feet away from them. 

Olivia turned at the mention of her name. "Detective Anders, what brings you by?" She blinked for a moment before recognition set in and she addressed him, prior to him coming to a stop, in front of them. Turning to introduce her two colleagues, she cleared her throat before proceeding. "Detective Anders, Captain Cragen and ADA Alex Cabot." Pausing as Cragen and Cabot shook his hand, she reiterated. "What brings you to Manhattan?"

The detective took a breath. "I have something that might be of use. After you and your partner left my office, I checked our file room. About 12 years ago, we had a floater. Vic had been under for too long, so any prints from the cement block and rope, used to weigh him down, were useless. One of the people questioned was your boy, Martinelli. By then, it was five years later and we had no evidence linking him to the murder. However, he did admit to dating the vic five months before the murder." Anders held up a file folder with the copied report and contents inside.

Cragen's brow furrowed. "What was the victim's name?" Shoving his hands into his pockets as he watched the detective open the file and flip through the pages.

"Brent Paxton."

"Paxton?" Olivia looked from the Homicide detective to the man in the interrogation room. When she looked back, she met eyes with Anders. "Any relatives?"

The detective sighed and skimmed through the that he had read the name from. "Son of Margaret and Edmond, 28 years old, and younger brother of Justin Paxton." Shifting as Cragen moved to show the visiting detective the man in the room, he nodded confirmation of relation. "That's him."

"Were you ever looking at Jake Martinelli as a suspect?" Olivia questioned.

Anders nodded. "Yea, for a time. No evidence came up supporting the theory, though. Back then, we had a lot of hate crimes going on. This is a cold case." Flipping to an enlarged photo of the victim's abdomen, he pointed out where the shoe pattern had made an impression, several spots on the bloated body. "Victim had broken ribs, head contusions, broken arm. Almost like he was kicked to death and then stomped on before weighted down in the middle of the Hudson. Search warrant turned up nothing at Martinelli's home and office. Never found anything resembling the shoe pattern, within Martinelli's possessions."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. "And, that's our motive." She had stared at Cabot as she said it, mentally connecting Paxton to Martinelli and then Paxton to Erik Matthews. 

Anders raised an eyebrow as he stared at the man, now pacing, in Interrogation. "You think Paxton's brother wanted revenge? Why not just kill Martinelli and leave Erik and your vic alone?" Worry for his brother had set in but he managed to push it to the back of his mind until it could be dealt with, reasonably.

"Maybe Justin was tired of waiting for his brother's cold case to be solved. Who were the detectives assigned to the case?" Captain Cragen held out a hand for the folder.

The detective shrugged. "Carmine and Patroneau. Lou Carmine was killed on duty, three years ago and Paula Patroneau transferred to Maine, to take care of her ailing mom, about a year or so ago." Handing the folder and contents over to the captain, he had begun to ask himself what his brother had unknowingly gotten himself into.

Alex Cabot had stood there and listened to the conversation, reading the file, over Cragen's shoulder. "Where was Justin, at the time of his brother's murder?"

The Homicide detective thought back. "His parents said he was away, in Nashville, at the time of the murder. Carmine even made a trip down there, to tell him about his brother's death. Alibi was solid. He had been attending and giving lectures on architectural history and design. Down to the last second of every day was accounted for." He could see Olivia thinking about how Justin had figured out that Jake was involved in his brother's death. 

Cragen chewed his lip, in thought. He stared at the names of the known acquaintances. "What about the other names on the list? Where were they? Can we talk to any of them?" Looking up from the file, he saw the same calm in Detective Anders that his younger, half-brother had shown them.

"Up until his death, Carmine worked this case, every six months. It seems Brent had a thing for bad boys so, the other names on that list.... chances are, they're either doin' time or pushing up weeds. I think Lou mentioned, once, that a few of them knew Justin, prior." Anders' eyes narrowed at the man in the room. 

Alex Cabot glanced back at the irritated architect, also, and then back at Olivia. "I'll push the warrant. Find me something that directly links Paxton to Jasper. I need physical evidence, in order to file charges for the murder of Aaron Jasper." Shifting and sighing, she had been ready to put the entire case to rest. Three months had past since the initial murder of Aaron Jasper and Alex Cabot was getting tired of trying to explain to his parents why they hadn't charged anyone in his murder, as of yet. Turning and walking away, Alex hurried back to her office to check on where the warrant was, in terms of delivery.

Olivia's brow furrowed. "So, we're letting Martinelli off the hook?"

"That bastard's not getting off that easy. He assaulted my little brother." The detective let his temper flare. 

Cragen understood the anger the young detective felt and intervened to quell any tempers. "Until we know for certain which one is the guilty party, both Martinelli and Paxton are still 'on the hook' for Aaron Jasper's murder. Flushing Major Case has Jake under surveilance for his assault charge. Matthews will still have to file rape charges, if he wants to pursue it any further. For now, I'd rather not put that much strain on your brother's health, until he feels he can handle it." He paused as he noticed Elliot approaching and gave a hopeful glance in the detective's direction.

Elliot came to a stop where Alex Cabot had stood. He quickly greeted the visiting detective and then informed them of the update. "Just got off the phone with Cabot's office. Search warrant for Paxton's place of work and home came through."

 

Justin Paxton's Residence  
42403 W 79th Street  
Apt 214B, Manhattan

Fin searched the spacious and elegant bedroom while Olivia searched the living room. A lavish loft-style apartment building that catered to the well-funded residents. Neither detective had made it a point to keep their search neat and tidy as they tore threw the two rooms, in search of evidence. So far, Olivia had turned up nothing of use, in the living room, and had moved to join Fin in the bedroom. They had been searching for over two hours and hadn't even come up with a speck of dust on the wood floors.

"Living room and adjoining office space didn't turn up anything. How about yours?" Olivia stood in the door way and glanced around the room. 

Fin stood up from looking under the bed for any shoeboxes or safes, that might have been kept, and turned around to briefly look at her. "Master bathroom's clean. As in spotless. This guy could give the maid service a few pointers." Opening the large walk-in closet, he starter on the right side and worked his way around. As he reached the far corner, he stopped and removed a small, cardboard moving box from the floor. Bringing it out and placing it on the bed, he unfolded the flaps and opened it. "Liv," holding up a manilla folder with his brother's name on it, Fin cleared his throat and waited for his partner to turn her attention from the polished black, oak dresser, to the box. 

Olivia turned and made her way to stand at the end of the bed and peer into the box. "Looks like Justin did his own investigation of his brother's murder." Removing a package with Jake's name on it, she opened it and looked in before dumping the contents onto the bed. "Look, photos of Jake and Erik, together." 

Picking up a handful of photos, Fin looked more closely at several of them. "Some of these look old. He's been tailing Jake for awhile." Flipping an older photo of Erik over, he read the caption that had been hand written by Justin. "Jake's bitch at the park. Looking sad. 2009." Flipping the photo back over to stare at the far away shot of Erik sitting on a park bench, oblivious to the camera, angled from his left. 

Tilting her head and staring at the scene, Olivia's eyes widened. "That's the bench Aaron Jasper was found dead on. Paxton gets upset that his brother's case went cold so, he does his own investigation into Jake Martinelli and finds Jake involved with Erik. Five years after Brent was killed puts Jake as already moved on and dating Erik. Paxton starts stalking Erik, while romancing Jake, and then Aaron Jasper gets involved. By then, Paxton's temper was so irate that he must have meant to kill Erik but, because Jasper changed his appearance or Jake proposed, Paxton killed Aaron Jasper, instead of Erik and tried to frame Jake."

Fin listened to the theory while continuing to sort through the photos Olivia had dumped onto the bed. His eye caught a flash of a brass key as it fell from between the small pile of random photos and memos. Picking it up and laying it in his hand, he looked at it. "House key. Could be Martinelli's?"

"Or, Erik Matthews'." Picking up a small, black notebook, she flipped through it and stopped on a dog-eared entry that stated clearly when Erik would be out of the house and at an appointment. "Jake's been the target, all along. Paxton surveilled Matthews to use him as revenge for his brother's death. He must have weeded out the other guys that knew Brent and found something about Jake that made him a suspect." Digging out her cell phone, from her pocket, she dialed the captain's number and told him what they found. Her next phone call was to Elliot and Munch, who searched Paxton's business. She hung up and informed Fin of their next move.

 

Continued.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to SophieD, for help with this chapter.

Erik sat in Captain Cragen's office. The cast on his leg had been removed and replaced with a brace and the cast on his arm was freshly replaced with a splint. He sat with his back to the door, alone in the office, as the captain excused himself to retrieve a cup of water, for the attourney. He stared at the wall, in front of him, behind Cragen's desk and let his eyes wander over the plaques and medals and photos with framed articles. A ragged breath as he heard the door open and close, behind him. A small paper cup with water was offered to him. "Thank you," he said as he accepted it. "Captain, I am no longer apart of Jacob Martinelli's hi-jinx and I would really appreciate it if I was able to separate myself from this case."

"I'm sorry my detectives called you in, Counselour. However, we've come across some things you might find particularly unsettling." Cragen cleared his throat and opened a locked drawer, in his desk. He removed a few plastic evidence bags and placed them on the desk, between them. Sitting down, he watched the young man's expression change. "We believed it was your former client who intended to murder you but sufficed for Aaron Jasper, in your place." A tap on the glass window, in the door, caught his attention. Waving them in, he glanced back at Erik and watched as his brow furrowed.

Sitting forward, Erik stared at the pile of 4x6 photos of him doing every day things, walking, talking on his phone, eating meals or sitting on a bench in the park. "I don't understand." His eyes then filtered over the bagged journal and finally the simple house key.

"This evidence was taken from the home of a man named Justin Paxton. Have you ever met him?" Cragen glanced to Cabot, standing behind Erik, and then back to him as he answered.

Erik shook his head. "I don't think so. Who is he?"

Alex Cabot stepped around the side of him and stopped next to Cragen. "Justin Paxton is another lover of Jacob Martinelli's. The timeline puts him at dating Martinelli, just before you." She paused as Erik sat back and sighed as he looked up at her. "We brought you in because we need you to testify against Jacob Martinelli and Justin Paxton."

"No, please. Just.... I don't know what this is all about and, frankly, I don't have the time to invest in it. The man that was killed deserves the attention, not me. I've bent over backwards trying to keep my private life private. So far, it's cost me my privacy, my reputation and now, my health. And, you want me to commit career suicide? I can't." Erik shook his head and sat back in his chair. He suddenly felt weak and drained. His anxiety crept in around him and he started to feel jittery.

"I promise, I will do my best to keep your involvement as minimal as possible. Erik, you are the block that puts these two away, for good. After your testimony, You'll be released from this case, until the verdict is read. Please, help us." Alex pleaded as he had turned his attention back to her.

Cragen looked over at Alex and then back to the young man that looked more exhausted from the whole ordeal than anything. "Counselour, we understand you value your privacy and we'll try to make this as free of stress on you, as possible. But, Justin Paxton took it upon himself to stalk you and then Aaron Jasper when he realised Martinelli was cheating on him. He also framed you for the murder of Aaron Jasper, just to get back at Jacob Martinelli. After all that, you're prepared to let him get away with framing you for something you didn't do?"

Alex leaned over the desk, bracing herself on her right hand. "Erik, testify for us, against Paxton and Martinelli. You are a victim, too."

Examining the counselour's expression, Cragen added, "We know this has been hard on you and what you're going through. We can't move forward until you allow us to help you." He paused a moment, finally noticing just how frail Erik Matthews was. "How long do you have?" Meeting the young man's eyes, he could see the pain that had come so close to being tangible.

"Not long. About six months." Erik paused to gather himself. "You're asking me to shorten that time by placing this stress on me? Regardless of the outcome, I'll never live long enough to reestablish myself, either in career or personal life. It doesn't matter what I say, now." Staring at his now trembling hands and wishing he had someone to still them and offer their strength, Erik closed his eyes and answered. "Fine. I need to rest. This can wait until tomorrow, Ms. Cabot."

Both Alex and the captain nodded. "Of course."

"I'll have an officer drive you home." Cragen stood and made his way around to the side of the desk as Erik also stood, slowly.

Shaking his head, Erik kept his gaze lowered. "No thank you. I have a friend that lives a few blocks from here. I'll call a cab." Making his way to the door, Erik didn't turn around to see them watch him as he left quietly. 

~~~~~~~

Elliot had watched the muted conversation between Erik and Cragen, in Cragen's office, and then kept his eyes on Erik as he stood to leave. He stood as Erik stopped at the lift and placed a hand on the wall, to steady himself. Making his way over to the paled counselour, Elliot asked if he was alright.

"I'm fine. Just tired." Erik nodded.

Brow furrowing, Elliot didn't want to push it. "Someone taking you home?"

With a glance over his right shoulder, again, Erik nodded. "Cab."

Elliot's expression flitted into worry. "That's a long ride, counselour. I'll grab my coat." Not waiting for Erik to disagree, he turned on his heel and hurried back to grab his coat, from the hook. He hadn't trusted a Manhattan cabbie to drive an ill and frail man home, two cities away. It hadn't mattered if it was day or night. Walking back to the lift, he noticed Erik hadn't moved to watch him. Pushing the button for the door, he ushered the young man into the car and hit the Lobby button.

The silence between them had been thick. Awkward. "You don't have to do this, detective." Erik stole small glances over at the man beside him. His pulse beat a little faster as he eyed the detective's firm chest behind the tan button up and toned thighs, carefully hidden under dark gray slacks.

"Cab driver's are ruthless. Besides, that ride could get expensive." Elliot turned to glance over at the young man and caught his eye. 

Erik blinked and looked away. "There is a friend I can stay with, just a few blocks from here. She can take me home, tomorrow."

Taking a breath and then asking, Elliot had been genuinely concerned about the younger man. "Do you need your medication?"

"I'll take it tomorrow."

Elliot turned and stared at Erik. "Erik, I may not know what you're going through but, it's important to keep you healthy. Let me take you home, counselour." There was another awkward silence between them as the doors opened, inviting them into the lobby.

Catching the detective's eye, he swallowed and finally nodded, feeling more exhausted as they stood there. At first, he had wondered if he heard right. The man he dreamt about wanted to take him home, out of genuine concern. It had been real, though. And, as Erik was lead to the Crown Victoria and sat in the passenger seat, he felt his heart flutter. The drive had been a long one, even with the interstate, but Erik wished it had been longer. He had relaxed and silently enjoyed his time alone, with Detective Stabler.

As the car pulled up to the curb, in front of the brownstone, Erik sat there, a moment, wanting to take in his time with Stabler. Sighing and glancing over at the driver, he thanked him for the ride and reached a shaky hand to the door, in attempt to open it. Before he could steady himself, Elliot was out of the driver's seat and around the side to open his door and help him out. "Thank you. I can get it." Reaching into his pocket for his keys, he silently gave himself a reminder to call a locksmith, after seeing the duplicate house key, in an evidence bag. Handling his keys, his eyes spotted the gold ring on the detective's hand and Erik felt his heart sink. "Good night, Detective Stabler. Thank you for the ride home." Starting for the stoop, he paused and turned around. "Would you like some coffee? For the ride back?" He had hoped Elliot would agree and give him the pleasure of more company with the handsome detective. His heart soared as Elliot nodded and followed him inside.

"My pills are upstairs. If you'll excuse me, a moment." Removing his long, wool coat, Erik offered the detective a seat while he fetched his pillcase from the nightstand, next to his bed. Opening the drawer and removing the evening tab, his eye caught a knocked over bottle of natural erection stimulants. He sighed as it had been both hopeless and desired to make love to man that wanted him. His illness had robbed him of his want for intimacy and Jake had cured him of ever thinking it would be pleasant, again. Yet, the handsome, straight and married, Detective Stabler had been downstairs, waiting for him. Erik sighed, defeated.

A knock at the door. "Everything alright?"

Removing his pillcase from the drawer and closing it, he turned and nodded. "Fine." He glanced at the clock, on his dresser, and realised it had been 10 minutes since he had made his way upstairs. "Coffee, yes. I'm sorry. I guess I was distracted." Erik started to walk back to the door when Elliot held up a hand to stop him.

"I'm not worried about the coffee. Is everything okay, Erik?" Elliot took in the counselour's frail appearance and motioned for him to sit down, on the bed. When Erik only nodded but didn't move from where he stood, Elliot stepped over to the side of the bed and sat down. "You've been a little distracted, since leaving the captain's office. Is something wrong?"

Shaking his head and closing his eyes, trying to hide the tears that welled up, Erik cleared his throat. "I'm fine, detective. I just have a lot going on." He smiled and tried to shake off the nervous feeling that itched to get closer to the other man. 

Elliot nodded. He stood and stepped closer to Erik. "If you're not feeling well, why don't you lie down? I'll get you some water and something to eat." 

Erik smiled, again. "Jake used to do that. Get my pills, water, anything I needed. After my first treatment, I was in bed for a week, throwing up and just exhausted. By the time my second treatment came around, Jake started doing less and less for me." Finally sitting down on the bed, Erik stared at the pillcase in his hand. "I told my doctor I needed another option and that I was being pressured to spend more time with Jake, rather than on the bathroom floor. He said it was typical to want to be more intimate, with my partner, because cancer takes it away from you." Pausing a moment as Elliot sat back down, he took a breath. "Jake was like a spoiled child, just constantly wanting attention. So, I asked my doctor, again, what we could do. He told me about natural supplements that wouldn't affect my medications and would let me relax." Again, he paused to collect himself. "The first night we made love, I had to stop. I kept a bowl under my bed and threw up in that but, Jake had had enough. He moved out the next day. Since then, I've done little things to appease him but," Erik shook his head slightly, "there's no pleasure in it, for me. And, when it comes to dealing with cancer, I'm on my own."

"Your neighbours seem to care about you." 

Erik nodded. "They do. I'm grateful. They've helped me, alot. But, I'm still a burden on them."

Elliot looked around the room that had changed dramatically, since he and Olivia had searched Erik's house. The photos of Erik and Jake had disappeared and were replaced with oil paintings of landscapes, a friend from work had done for him, in effort to cheer him up. The room, itself, had also changed from evidence of two men living together, to one with next to nothing that had made it a home. Boxes, of various sizes, had been stacked, in one corner and were labeled of contents. Elliot noticed the boxes. "Are you moving?"

Nodding sullenly, Erik glanced over at the boxes he had been working on filling for two days. "To Brooklyn. Selling what I can and giving the rest away. Trying to take care of everything now, so that, all Pop has to do is sign the release, from the coroner and let me be buried next to my mom." He hadn't wanted to think of anything so final, just yet but had no choice, after his oncology appointment, earlier that week. "Pop is letting me stay with him." Remembering the pills in the case, in his hand, he stood. "I need to take these." Taking a step forward, he paused as Elliot also stood and held up his hand. 

"Have you eaten, yet?"

Erik blinked. "Lunch."

"Food in the house?" 

"Yes."

Elliot took in how pale and ghostly Erik looked and thought to himself that the young man probably hadn't had much of an appetite and therefore, chose to eat like a bird. "How about I fix you something to eat so you can take your medicine and get some rest?"

Erik wrestled with his emotions. "I'll be fine, Detective Stabler." He had wanted so badly to close the distance and make mad, passionate love to the man a few feet away from him. However, the ring on Elliot's left hand stopped him from acting out his impulses. Feeling awkward about both men standing in his bedroom, Erik cleared his throat and once again, made a move to return downstairs. For a moment, his body ached and exploded a sensation he hadn't felt in a long time. His heart beat a little faster as he stepped forward and tears came to the corners of his eyes. Biting his lip, in attempt to stop the trembling, he caught sight of Elliot's soft, pink lips part, in effort to say something. He swallowed and wanted to press his own mouth to Elliot's. At first, he waited to be shoved away and spat on but, nothing came. 

Something in his brain told him to stop and back away. Erik sighed as he stepped back, eyes moving to the floor between them. "I'm sorry, detective. I um, I should really take my pills." Making his way, slowly, back downstairs, Erik kicked himself for wanting a married man. It was a rule, of his, never to come between a marriage or force himself on anyone that did not reciprocate his own feelings. Yet, he did not want to die alone or without knowing that someone else cared for him, the way he cared for them. Another sigh of defeat as he sat down, halfway to the bottom.

Following Erik downstairs, Elliot paused to see if he was alright. When Erik nodded, he continued to the kitchen and retrieved a glass of water and placed it on the step, beside Erik. His next task was to fix something for Erik to eat and set about his task by asking questions of where things were and what the young man was hungry for. 

"There's some Spaghettios, in the cupboard."

Elliot opened the cupboard door, next to the refrigerator, and removed the colourful can and stared at it. "Spaghettios?"

Erik pulled himself to his feet and continued his way downstairs, sitting down on the antique, blue settee he had sitting in a far corner of the dining room. "My mom would fix me Spaghettios, when I was sad or ill. Somehow, it always made me feel better." Placing the glass of water down on the small, round table, next to the right arm of the settee. He stared down at the pillcase and struggled but eventually opened the tab and dumped the five different pills, into his hand. He stared at the pile of pills and then placed them, one by one, in his mouth and sipped his water. He heard the microwave ding and footsteps as Elliot came closer, with the bowl of Spaghettios. He finished his pills and held out his hands to receive the bowl of hot food Elliot carried, sitting on a sunflower print oven mitt. "Thank you." Blowing on a spoonful and taking a bite, he eyed the detective that pulled a chair from the dining table and sat across from him. Swallowing his bite and scooping another spoonful, he voiced his question. "Why are you doing this, for me?"

With his legs apart, Elliot leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "I understand what it's like to need someone, to take care of them."

"You had cancer?"

Elliot shook his head. "No, but, I know about illness and taking care of loved ones who suffer from debilitating illness. It's not easy to go through."

"No. But, it's easier on the sidelines." Erik smiled meekly at his poor attempt at humour. He took another bite and was already feeling full. He eyed Elliot's position and wondered if the older detective was doing it to tease him, or not. The wrestling feeling was beginning to overwhelm him, again. As he ate, he wondered what Stabler's reaction would be, if he told him how he felt. With only a few bites left, Erik felt full. Placing the bowl beside him, on the settee, he leaned back with a small groan and wince of pain. "I need to ask you something, Detective Stabler."

Smiling briefly, Elliot cleared his throat and shifted his position. "Okay."

Erik sighed and stared for a long moment, at the ring on Elliot's hand. "Why doesn't it bother you that I'm gay?" Meeting the man's eyes, a knot started to form in the pit of his stomach as he waited for the detective's answer. "Trying to get into Prosecution's dugout? Or, is it a retired Police Captain's?"

Elliot laughed at the two summations. "Not quite. Despite your dad and job, you're a victim; of rape and assault and Leukemia. Those three things shouldn't be in the same sentence. Let alone vocabulary. But, they are, and it happened, to you. Same or separate sides of the courtrrom aside, no one should have to deal with those three things. You were gay long before any of them happened. It's not my job to change that." He paused to meet eyes with the younger man. "It is my job to protect and help victims of rape and assault. Your attacker was someone you trusted and cared about. Someone who was supposed to be a support in your illness treatment. If I can help make that loss a little less unbearable and lonely, I'll do it."

Shifting and clearing his throat, Erik bit his lip to stop the trembling. "You're not afraid of me trying to 'hit on' you?"

Elliot leaned back in his chair. "Should I be? You haven't yet."

Erik's eyes lowered for a second before he caught himself as to where they stared. His tongue wet his lips, nervously. "What would you think, or say, if I asked to kiss you?"

Cocking his head to the side, Elliot met Erik's eyes again. "Are you hitting on me, now, Counselour?"

Erik swallowed. "Hypothetical." He had to switch to his courtroom facade before Elliot said an answer that would ultimately break his heart.

"Do you want to kiss me, Counselour?"

This time, Erik couldn't suppress his lip from trembling as Elliot answered him with a question. He had to look away. Closing his eyes to gather the courage, he opened them and stared directly into Elliot's soft blue eyes. "Yes." His next breath was one of relief, as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from him. Acknowledging Elliot's change in expression and sighing as the feeling of dread washed over him, he added, "if you want to run, feel free. Don't worry about hurting my feelings."

"I'm still here, Counselour." Elliot shifted in his seat.

Erik hadn't moved from his seat. He could feel himself blush and wanted desperately to be in the detective's strong arms, feeling the man's closeness.

Elliot examined Erik's posture; tension had replaced relaxed, legs closed with hands balled into fists as if beating his thighs in punishment of touching something that wasn't his. "But, you want to. Don't you?" Pausing as he captured Erik's attention. 

"What I want shouldn't be a concern of yours, detective." His voice void of emotion.

Nodding, Elliot smiled at the statement. 

"I.... apologise.... if I've made you feel uncomfortable." Repeating the words Stabler had told him only months prior, Erik focused on the older man's expression. "I wasn't always gay, you know. My brother had this girlfriend, in high school. Cute, smart, liked to wear those little sweaters that were fuzzy, you know? One day, it was raining and I had to walk home because my bike had a flat tire. She had this blue '67 Mustang hardtop. Popped the trunk, threw the bike inside and slid onto the passenger seat. Eight blocks from home, she pulled over, into this parking structure. She undid her seatbelt and told me I was wildly different than my brother. Anyway, she told me she liked my long hair, as Alex kept his short, jock short. We clicked. Had lotsa talks and laughs, about everything. It didn't matter that she was in NYU and I was just a lowly Freshman. Alex was graduating, anyway." He stopped to see Elliot listening to him. "She told that she liked me. Barely 16 and was making out with the Homecoming Queen of FDR High." He paused as he thought back to the day and being in the front seat with his brother's girl. Damp, shoulder-length brown hair being toyed with as he kissed her lips and frantically tried to remove his jacket. "When I got home, Alex followed me upstairs, nagging me about why it took so long for her to bring me home. The next day, his friends had heard about it. I spent my lunch crammed into my locker, in the boy's gym and the rest of the day begging the Principal not to call my pop. That night," Erik shivered. "Alex made it abundantly clear not to mess with things that didn't belong to me. I figured Kevin was safe because he came on to me." He shook his head as he remembered the horrified and irate expression his brother wore after finding them in bed, together. "I didn't know that meant best friends, too."

Elliot nodded his understanding. "So, you decided being gay was something that let you have what you wanted?"

Erik scoffed. "You're married, detective." 

Pausing at the statement, Elliot raised an eyebrow. "There are plenty of people out there, who would spend their life with you."

Erik bowed his head. "I have no interest in going to a bar, getting drunk or high, just to have a good time, detective. Most of the guys, I meet, just want a fling. Also, once I tell them my diagnosis, they won't stay."

"Not everyone hears the word 'cancer' and flees." 

Erik nodded. "Perhaps not. But, 'terminal' is a definite deterrent. I would rather not spend my last days searching only to end up alone, on my deathbed." The words seemed to bite him more than Elliot.

A moment of heavy silence passed between them. Elliot could tell Erik felt very uncomfortable about the conversation and thought it best to leave it alone, for the night. "Maybe, I should let you get some sleep?" He stood and stepped forward to retrieve the bowl with three bites of Spaghettios left in it. He paused as Erik struggled to stand up. They came together and Elliot had been stunned to feel Erik's soft lips against his. It had lasted only a few seconds but long enough for him to shake away the startlement and hold Erik by the forearms. He hadn't pulled away but also hadn't let it continue.

Erik pulled back and immediately lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry, Detective Stabler. I won't take up any more of your time."

His brow furrowed and his expression showed his question but he released the young man's arms and stepped back for Erik to pass, following him to the door. As he stepped over the threshold, he turned and caught Erik's sorrow play over his face. "Why did you kiss me?"

A deep breath and a heavy sigh before Erik answered. "Call it, 'I was tired of wondering what it would be like.' Good night, detective." A sad smile as the door closed quietly.

 

Continued.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graphic accounts of abuse, rape.  
> Masturbation.

Trial Part 13  
25 March  
11:12 AM

"How would you describe your relationship with your attourney, prior to being romantic?" Ms. Cabot leaned against the edge of her table, her arms at her sides, bracing on the edge. She stared at Jake and waited for him to his answer. After a moment of them staring at each other, she broke the silence. "Mr. Martinelli."

Jake shifted in the seat and glanced from the tall blonde, over to his ex-lover, who sat in the second chair, for the Defense. "It was alright, I guess. He uh 'loosened up' after about a year or so." He smirked as he caught Erik's eye and monotonous expression. Winking at the young lawyer, he turned back to stare at Cabot.

Pushing off of the table, Alex took two steps forward and stopped. "Who initiated the relationship?"

"Erik." Another glance over to his counsel with an added smirk as Erik only blinked calmly back, never letting on his anger.

Alex watched his expressions change, every time he looked to the other side of the room. She turned back to retrieve a blown up photo of the victim, from her table. Making her way closer to him, again, she held up the photo and asked, "do you know the man in the photo?" Coming to a stop three feet from him, she waited for him to look at Aaron Jasper's driver's license photo.

"I suppose." Jake shrugged.

"Yes or no."

"Yea."

Alex turned and made her way back to her desk to retrieve another photo. This time, of Aaron Jasper after his transformation into Erik's lookalike. "How about this photo?" She held it up to show Jake and then the jury, placing the photos side by side, for comparison.

Scoffing and looking away, Jake seemed bored with the questions. "Yea, I know him."

Standing in the middle of the floor, between her table and the stand, where Jake sat, she explained to the court the person in both photos. "His name was Aaron Jasper. Thirty-two years old, from Iowa, liked older men. He used a dating service and came up with two matches, he went on several dates with; you and" she turned to motion toward the other defendant, at the table, "Justin Paxton." Pausing to turn back to Jake, she shifted on her black, three inch heel. "Whose idea was it for Aaron to look, dress and become Mr. Matthews?"

Jake shrugged. "Musta been his. I don't know."

"How many dates did you have?"

"Nine or 12." Jake glanced back over to see Erik's expression and smirked as his ex-lover closed his eyes and sighed, in defeat.

Alex cleared her throat and regained Jake's attention. "Who initiated that romance?"

"Aaron."

Before another question was asked, Justin Paxton's counsel stood and called for an objection. "Your Honour, where is this line of questioning going and what does it have to do with my client?" Henry LaRue was a middle-aged man with short, gray hair and trimmed mustache. He was not a tall man but held his ground at 5 feet and 6 inches. His gravelly voice carried loudly into the acoustics of the high ceiling. He sat one chair over, from Erik, while his client sat around the corner of the table and glared at the man on the witness stand.

Judge Judith Wyatt had been passed the baton of trying the case from Judge Marsden, as Marsden had long been tired of Martinelli's antics. "Where is this headed, Ms. Cabot?"

Alex turned and looked at the older judge. "Your Honour, my questions are placing a timeline, leading up to the rape and murder of Aaron Jasper. I am also establishing why the victim's appearance was changed to resemble that of Mr. Martinelli's counsel, Mr. Matthews."

Judge Wyatt leaned forward and raised an eyebrow at Alex before glancing in Erik's direction. "I'll allow it but, get to the point, Ms. Cabot." Short gray hair with curled ends and a rounded face suggested an even-tempered woman but, behind her thick, black-rimmed glasses sat a shrewd judge with strong judicial sense. She had been watching the three people and paid special attention to Matthews, every time Jake would smirk in his direction.

Alex resumed her questions. "Did you and Aaron Jasper start dating before or after your relationship with Erik Matthews ended?"

"I don't remember."

Erik's brow furrowed and he leaned over and whispered to his first chair. They chatted for a moment and turned back to the exchange of questions between Cabot and Jake.

Alex stood in the middle of the space between Jake and her table, shifting her weight to her right foot. "Out of the times you and Aaron Jasper were dating, how many times was Jasper inside Matthew's home?" She had been less and less impressed by Jake's lack of care, of the situation and blatant disregard for his attourney's privacy.

"A few." Jake smirked and recalled the several places, in Erik's home, that they made love.

Alex could feel a headache coming on. "Aaron Jasper was found wearing Erik Matthews' suit and had several other items, belonging to Erik Matthews, in his possession. Did he take those items on any occasion that you and he were in Mr. Matthews' home, without Matthews' knowledge?"

Shrugging, Jake shifted. "He musta had very light fingers."

"No further questions." Cabot brought them back to the present.

Lindsay Craig had been an established partner in Erik's firm and had taken over the handling of the case, releasing Erik from being over-burdened with stress. "We reserve the right to recall this witness, for a later redirect." Her voice had been neutral as she stood and projected her statements to the court. "At this time, your Honour, we request a recess."

Judge Wyatt sighed and checked her watch. "Granted. Break for lunch and reconvene in one hour. We're in recess." The gavel banged and Judge Wyatt stood up and made her way to her chambers.

As the court emptied, around him, Erik sat in his chair and stared at the empty bench. His hand curled and rested at his mouth, as if holding in a secret. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the long, oak table and stared at the Witness Stand. The empty chair had taunted him and promised release from the torment Jake had placed upon him. A hand on his shoulder startled him back to where he was. It hadn't been so much his reputation he was afraid to lose, but more his humanity. This hadn't been "just another case to deal with" but, instead, a fight between lovers that had placed him as nothing more than a ragdoll caught in the middle. He hadn't enjoyed the way his personal life had been displayed and then ripped apart as if he were an inanimate object.

"Come on, son. Let's get some dinner, huh?" Captain Anders' voice was calm and soothing as he patted Erik's right shoulder and stepped back as the young man stood and turned around to follow his father out of the courtroom and into the hall.

~~~~~~

Kapachelli's Bistro  
85th and Broadway  
12:05 PM

Erik sat and stared at his ham and Swiss on rye halves. He hadn't been hungry for a few days but forced himself to eat a few bites of toast or whatever else he had that was small. The sandwich, in front of him, had been over stuffed with meat, some lettuce and a few slices of Swiss. "I'm not hungry, Pop." They sat in a far corner, surrounded by full table of hungry people on their lunch breaks. His back had been to the window and his eyes wandered up and down the long line of people, waiting for their food, at the countre. His father sat across from him and chewed on his own sandwich as if their lunch was rigidly timed.

Captain Anders finished chewing the bite of a Ruben, he had ordered, and leaned back in his chair. "You wanna get it to go? Save it for later?" He wiped his mouth with the napkin he had draped over his right leg. "C'mon, you gotta eat something. Not good for you to just eat like a bird."

Erik shook his head sullenly.

Anders studied his son, for a moment. "Erik, you aren't doing anyone any good, on an empty stomach."

Erik inhaled. "I'm not five, Pop."

Anders agreed. "No, that you aren't. But, you're still my son, young man. So, come on, three bites." Nudging Erik's plate, he cleared his throat and, for a brief moment, saw Erik, as a child, staring back at him. "You know, your mother lost her appetite, after her treatments, too. She got so thin and frail, they had to put her on IVs. I'd hate to have to make that decision for you, too."

Embarrassment hit and forced Erik to turn his head and look away. As he looked up from the dirt-streaked floor, his eye caught sight of a familiar face. Elliot Stabler had been sitting at a table a few spots down, in the middle of the room, talking to a dark-haired woman, with her back to them. Their conversation had been tense but calm, as not to alarm the other patrons of the bistro. As the woman collected her purse and stood to leave, Elliot also stood but did so to prevent her from leaving, without finishing the conversation. 

"William." Captain Anders asserted his tone by tapping the table and using Erik's middle name to regain Erik's attention. 

Erik's sighed and turned back to acknowledge his father. Before he was told, again, he shrugged and picked up the first half of his sandwich and bit off the corner.

~~~~~~

The remainder of the day in court had been the medical examiner's explanation of Aaron Jasper's trauma and death and then the detectives' findings of Aaron Jasper's personal life. By the time the judge called for the end of the day, Erik had been physically and emotionally done. He was numb and humiliated by the proceedings that only reminded him of how much he was hated by two very different people and an innocent man was dead, because of it.

As his front door shut behind him, Erik slid down and drew his knees to his chest. Sobbing quietly into his hands, he ignored the incessant buzzing in his coat pocket. He took a few minutes to let himself cry before gasping for breath and composing himself, wiping at tears with shaky fingers. The buzzing continued and after another moment of composure, he dug into his coat's left pocket and removed his cell phone. Staring at the name, he answered it. "Yes, Ms. Cabot."

Her voice had been mute of concern she had for his state of being and, instead, cleared her throat and pressed on the matter of her call. "Erik, I wanted to see if you were still willing to testify against Jake?"

Erik wiped a hand across his face and rest his head against the door. "Yes. Fine. I've informed my co-counsel of recusing myself. I have an appointment, first thing, in the morning and then, we can go over my testimony, before court. I should be at your office by 9." He had hoped she would leave it at that and end the conversation but, a part of him wanted someone to talk to. He knew that opposing counsel was not the smartest confident to choose. "Anything else?"

Alex was silent for a moment, listening to him breathing, on the other end. "Erik, I know this seems overwhelming and humiliating but, it's almost over. Once you give your testimony, it'll be up to a jury to convict both Jake and Justin for the murder of Aaron Jasper. This is, in no way, your fault." She was silent again, listening to his breathing.

Taking a ragged breath and staring at the bottom stair, across from him, Erik closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Ms. Cabot. Good night." After hanging up and placing the phone on the floor, beside him, he sighed. He sat there for a long while and listened to the air around him, the sounds of the street outside, the distant murmurs of neighbours around him and then the silence of a lonely brownstone. His body relaxed and the throbbing headache, from stress, started to dissipate. 

The phone, on the floor, sprang to life for the second time. This time, it had been to remind him of his medication. Picking it up and flipping it open to silence the beeping, Erik checked the time. 7:30. Pushing himself to his feet and heading to the kitchen, he retrieved the small square Tupperware from the refrigerator and opened it to find the PB&J, he had made for himself, that morning. Removing his coat and draping it over the back of a chair and eating only one half of the sandwich and replacing the other half to the refrigerator, he made his way upstairs, with a glass of water, for his evening pills.

Loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, Erik placed the glass of water on the bedside table, next to the pill container, and sat down on the bed. Robotically, he took his medication, one by one, with a sip of water after each pill. He undressed and placed his clothing in the hamper, in the bathroom, before retrieving a clean pair of winter pajamas and underwear, from his dresser. Erik sat on the bed and stared at the floor. He hadn't closed the drawer, to the bedside table which left the bottle of natural supplements in plain view. He bit his bottom lip and reached for the bottle of pills that only missed one capsule, reading the directions, carefully. He opened the bottle and dumped a single capsule into his hand. From the back of his mind, Jake's voice haunted him with taunts of unsaid desires of the male detective. 

A second voice entered his mind with reassurance, from a medical standpoint, that sexual activity was not completely out of the question for cancer patients. Taking the pill with a gulp of water, Erik paused and then propped himself against the two pillows, on his side of the bed. He reclined on the bed, naked and chilled from the cool material. Inhaling and forcing himself to relax, Erik rubbed tiny circles at the base of his manhood, with two fingers of his left hand. A small moan as he eased the tiny circles up his shaft. He could both feel and see the supplements take effect. His arousal was slow, at first, but as he began to think of the kiss he shared with Detective Stabler, it had stiffened quite nicely. He closed his eyes and licked his lips, remembering the taste of the masculine detective. His breath caught as the warmth of his hand encircled and lightly squeezed the tip of his manhood, causing a gasp as he imagined easing his erection into the detective's tight and warm body. Slowly, carefully, he stroked himself. He imagined the detective kissing his neck and gripping Erik's hips, pulling him deeper inside him. 

It had been so long since he had felt like a man, making love to another man, one that was actually patient with him. He stroked himself more firmly but kept the rhythm at a slow pace. Elliot had been so different from Jake; in his mind and in person. He moaned again as his mind recalled the feeling of closeness and warmth of their first embrace, in Erik's living room, how Elliot had let him hold him, for an instant, before guiding the frail, young man back down to the sofa. Looming over Erik, with concerned eyes. Front teeth bit into his lower lip as his pace quickened. His right hand cupped and warmed his neglected testes. A sharp intake of air as his mind projected Elliot's hands on him. Erik moaned a little louder as he gently squeezed himself, simultaneously.

In a final twist of cruelty, reminding him that the handsome detective was off limits, Erik imagined Elliot making love to his wife. A faceless, shapeless woman, he hadn't met, was underneath the well-toned Stabler, moaning and writhing in pleasure as he thrust himself in and out of her wet opening. He had wondered how Elliot handled himself, in bed. A forceful lion or gentle lamb? Erik became more forceful in his strokings. Wrenching his eyes tightly closed and grinding his teeth, his mouth sprung open and froze as a spray of warm semen striped his stomach and chest. Opening his eyes to see the streak of fluid, he refrained from whispering Elliot's name, as if keeping his act a secret. Streak after warm streak, Erik panted, feeling his heart pound in his chest.

With a final gasp and sigh, Erik studied the fluid on his hand and stomach. He gasped as his nose started run and dripped onto his chest. With the back of his right hand, he wiped at the wetness, on his lip and sat up with a start. Making his way into the bathroom, he grabbed a clean washcloth from the frosted sliding shower door railing and held it to his nose while using his left wrist to lift the lever and run warm water to rinse off his hand.

After a long moment, he removed the cloth from his nose, to see if the bleeding had stopped. Staring at his reflection, into his own caramel eyes, and then down, to his chest and stomach, Erik felt the shame of wanting Detective Stabler to be with him. The shame wasn't for wanting the detective but for knowing he was using the detective as a security blanket and filler from his bad romance with Jake. The feeling worsened as he told himself Stabler wasn't interested in him, as a lover. 

~~~~~~~

Trial Part 22  
10:14 AM

"The People call Erik Matthews, to the stand." Alex stood and announced her next witness.

Craig bolted up from her chair and demanded an objection. "Counsel was and is party to privileged information. Putting him on the stand violates confidentiality."

Judge Wyatt removed her glasses and blinked evenly at Ms. Craig. "Counsel has recused himself from this case, and as such, opened himself up to testimony. He is also a named victim of your client. Overruled." Replacing her glasses, Wyatt looked from Ms. Craig to the young man, sitting in the gallery, behind her. "Get up here, Counselour."

Sitting down, in the chair, Erik felt all eyes on him and, for the first time, a feeling of nervousness came over him. Displaying no emotion, he waited for Alex's first question. He held his breath as the tall blonde stepped closer to him.

"How did you meet Mister Martinelli?"

Erik swallowed. "My senior year at Law School, about seven years ago. I was studying for a final, at a gay bar Jake frequented. He, uh, bought me a few drinks."

Cabot nodded. "How long after your employment with Caldwell & Jameson, a firm that Jacob Martinelli's grandfather helped found, did your relationship with Jacob Martinelli, turn sexual?"

The courtroom door, behind her opened and a man slipped in to sit in the back row. Erik's attention was diverted briefly as he recognised the man that had entered. Blinking back to the woman, a few feet away, he answered. "Six months later." His heart pounded as Alex Cabot moved and Erik was able to stare at his brother's face, from across the room.

"When did your relationship end?"

"Two years later."

Alex turned away from him and took two steps back to her table. "Why?" She paused and turned back to look at him.

Erik's jaw trembled. "I was diagnosed with cancer; CML. Jake couldn't handle my being ill."

"Would you mind telling the court what CML stands for?"

Erik took a deep breath. "Chronic Myelocytic Leukemia. Stage four."

Reaching for an evidence bag that had been sitting on her table, Alex held it up for Erik and the court to see. "A condition in which the medication 'Droxia' would be offered. Correct?" Not waiting for his reply, she walked the evidence bag up to the stand and placed it on the railing. "Is this your prescription?"

Erik lowered his eyes and nodded. "Yes."

"Have you ever met Aaron Jasper?" Alex had tried to keep her tone neutral but moved her questions along as she could tell Erik was slowly fraying from the stress his testimony was placing on him.

"No."

"When did you first hear of him?"

Erik sighed. "The day Detectives Benson and Stabler questioned my client, Jacob Martinelli."

Alex paused to take a breath. "That was also the day your client raped and assaulted you. Wasn't it?"

His face flushed as he stared at his father and brother's faces, as they sat in the back row of the courtroom. "Yes." 

Cabot inhaled and thought about how to ask him, in a non-hostile manner. "Would you please tell the court what happened?"

Erik closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The last thing he had wanted was for his father and brother to hear the details of his rape. When he opened them, again, he had conformed his demeanour to his attourney tone. "I um, I got home from work and just wanted to sit down and relax. Jake was drunk and high. I asked him if Jasper had been in my home and, subsequently, in my bed. He refused to answer and diverted attention to a box of sex toys, he had sitting on the countre. I had never seen them before so, again, the conversation of where they had come from, was a dead end. Before I became ill, we really had no use for them. After my diagnosis, sex stopped completely."

"You were the one that mainly initiated sex?"

Erik nodded. "Yes." He paused a moment and fisted his hands to stop the trembling. He cleared his throat and steadied himself before continuing. "We tried herbal remedies and other variations but, by then, he had become upset by my lack of interest. Cancer treatments strip you of sex drive. I knew he had to have had someone on the side because, after he called it quits, he would tell me about the bars and sex clubs but wouldn't want anything to do with me. That night, we had a terrible fight. We were screaming at each other. I asked him about how many men he had been with and," taking a breath, "he exploded. He finished his beer and grabbed another. Told me 'we should get wasted, together.'" Erik deliberately stared at her, as he continued. He blinked back to her face, every time his eyes made a move to look in Jake's direction. "I told him no and he snapped and said, 'it would loosen me up.' What really set him off was the alarm on my phone, for my evening pills. He threw the bottle of beer at me and crossed the room to grab my arm, to stop me from going upstairs, where my medication is. He begged me to make love to him. When I said no, again, he got violent. He shoved me against the stairs and backhanded me. I pushed him off and tried to run up the stairs but, I got about five steps up and he wrapped an arm around my waist and threw me back down to the floor." His breath caught and forced him to stop and collect himself. After a moment of silence and Cabot asking if he was alright, Erik nodded and continued. "I begged him to stop but, he kept punching and kicking me, telling me that my illness was an excuse. Next, he um, he ripped my clothing and started to undress me. I crawled away from him but, he dragged me by my hair, into the sitting room, where he shoved me against the sofa and forced himself into me." He waited for another humiliating question but nothing came. Bowing his head, he hoped he would be dismissed. Again, nothing.

Judge Wyatt leaned over her desk and stared at him, over the tops of her glasses. "Do you feel alright, Counselour?"

"Oh. Uh." Erik wiped at his nose and stared at the red fluid on his fingertips.

Alex thought quickly for the words. "Your Honour, the People request a recess....." 

"Granted. We're in recess until tomorrow morning." Wyatt banged the gavel. "Get the medical unit in here!" She called to the bailiff, standing by the door.

 

Continued.


	10. Chapter 10

Alex Cabot had taken her time with her questioning, trying not to violate the Attourney/Client Confidentiality Agreement. "Was Mister Martinelli living with you, at the time of your rape?" She stood between the two tables and motioned to Jake, who sat next to his lawyer. Her tone had been even and calm as she asked Erik, on his second day of testimony. She had been dressed very professionally in a blue skirt and white blouse. Her hair had been put up neatly in a tight bun, giving her a sophisticated air to her.

"No, but he still had a key." Erik blinked. He sat straight, with his hands in his lap. His gray suit and blue shirt made him seem paler than he was. It had been two days later since his release from hospital and already his stress level had mounted to a heightened level his doctors had warned him against.

Cabot's brow furrowed. "Why? You already testified that he ended the relationship, after your diagnosis. Why didn't you change the locks, when he moved out?" 

Erik was silent for a moment. Taking a deep breath and looking from Alex to his father, at the back of the room, he swallowed and answered. "I didn't think I needed to. Plus, at the time, he was the only one closest to family as possible." He could tell he hit a nerve with his brother as they made eye contact. He hadn't dared make verbal contact with his brother or father, since the trial began. Nor, did he want to. In fact, he had wished they hadn't been present to hear his testimony. Erik shuddered.

"Whose idea was it for Mister Martinelli to forward his mail to your office?" Alex had decided to test the thin waters of legalities.

Jake's attourney stood. "Objection. Relevance."

The judge looked from watching Erik and Alex, over to where Ms. Craig stood. Taking a deep breath and looking back to Alex, she raised an eyebrow. "I'm inclined to agree with counsel, Ms. Cabot. Where is this line of questioning going?" Pushing her glasses back up her nose, as they had slid down half an inch, she had been interested in getting to the point, instead of humiliating the young man on the witness stand, any further.

Ms. Cabot turned to face the judge and shifted onto her left foot. "Your honour, the question is inclusive in the defendant's actions and indicative of his behaviour towards Mister Matthews and Mister Paxton."

Wyatt sighed, weighing her options. "I'll allow the question but, get to the point, Ms. Cabot. And, tread carefully." Turning back to Erik, she evened her gaze on him. "Answer the question, Counselour."

Inhaling and swallowing as he glanced over at Jake, Erik answered. "It was Jake's idea."

"Why?"

Erik shook his head and shrugged at the question. "I don't know. He told me he had some trouble and asked for my help."

"Nothing further." Alex walked back to her seat as Ms. Craig stood and came to the middle of the room.

Holding a folder, in her left hand, Ms. Craig looked at Erik and paused a moment. "Up until the attack, how would you classify your relationship with Jacob Martinelli?" Her head tilted to the side, slightly, letting her chestnut bangs sweep to across her forehead. Her hazel eyes stared calmly at him, even though, he had been a key witness against his own client.

Erik swallowed, confused by the question. "In what instance?"

"Personal relationship."

Erik shrugged. "The same as anyone else's."

"Do you date all your clients?"

"No."

Clearing her throat and holding up the folder, she opened it and moved to show him the top page. "Before my client, you dated three other men, two of which, were also your clients. And, all three were felons." She paused as their eyes met. She watched the recognition and shame played across his face. "Where are they now, counselour?"

Erik took a breath. "I dated them before they were my clients. They retained my legal services afterward." Erik stared at the names on the page. He had remembered each of their faces and voices.

"Answer the question, please."

Sighing and shifting in his seat, Erik looked away from the paper, briefly. "One is serving life, one moved out of state and one is dead from drug overdose."

Ms. Craig nodded. "Was this before or after you broke up with my client?" Her peach skirt and jacket had been conservative enough for court, even though, peach was not her winning colour. Her long hair had been pulled back into a French braid that snaked its way down her slendre back. Her low heels made a deep, hollowing sound as she walked back to her table, with the folder.

"Two were before we officially ended our relationship."

Linda nodded but didn't turn around until after asking her next question. "Was it sexual?"

Again, Erik took a deep breath. "Yes."

She nodded again. "So, you claim my client abandoned your relationship, after your diagnosis, because, in your words, he became upset by your 'lack of interest' in sex. Are you sure, my client wasn't driven to another man, after learning about your extra romps?"

"No." The shame filled his cheeks with redness. "It happened before I had my first chemo." The anger in him had begun to creep up and he had to mentally tell himself to "breathe" to calm down. Erik had been under explicit instructions not to become overexcited or overexert himself to cause another instance. He hadn't told his father or Ms. Cabot of his doctor's warnings as he had been too used to doing things on his own that he hadn't thought they needed to know.

Linda stepped forward and cocked her jaw to the slide. "Did you love any of the three men, you slept with, while you were dating my client?"

"I had feelings for them, yes."

Walking up to him and raising a sly eyebrow, she examined him. "You look healthy now. Are you still doing chemo treatments?"

Erik took a breath. "No."

"When was your last treatment?" 

"About a year and a half ago."

"Remission?"

"No." Erik shivered. "I've been taking an alternative treatment."

Nodding, Linda smiled. "Has it been working?"

"No."

Linda nodded sullenly. "Sorry to hear that. When did you find out?"

"Octobre 18th of last year."

Linda turned and walked back to her table to check her notes. "That was five days before Aaron Jasper's death, correct?"

"I suppose so, yes."

"Why do you think Jacob had Aaron Jasper pretend to be you, after finding out about your cheating on him?"

Alex Cabot stood. "Objection! Speculation."

"Sustained. Watch it, Ms. Craig."

Catching the hurt in Erik's eyes, Linda lightened her tone and withdrew anything further.

Judge Wyatt's voice boomed into the court room. "Recess, one hour." The gavel banged and the court stood and made their way out of the room.

Detective Anders, who had sat in the back of the room with his father, watching the testimony of his brother, stood up and made his way to where Erik now stood, at Cabot's table. He stared at Erik's sullen, pale face and blinked as they made eye contact. "Erik."

"Aleksei." Though, he was angry and humiliated, Erik's voice was calm and soft as he stared at his brother. 

The detective sighed and carefully eased himself forward to embrace his little brother.

Erik stiffened. His eyes widened as he hadn't an idea of why he was being hugged by someone he had never been close to. When the embrace ended, he stared at the man, in silence. Turning to Ms. Cabot, he resigned himself to the proceedings. "Please let me know if I'm needed again." Shaking her hand and brushing past his brother, Erik left quietly, followed by his father and brother.

~~~~~~~~~

Elliot sat at his desk. His elbows rested on several folders while his hands curled about his chin. He thought about the day, in court, and the several testimonies he and the others of the squad sat through. He had been lost in his own thoughts, replaying images of court and personal conversations with his wife. He sighed and sat back, bringing his hands to clasp behind his head as he stared up at the dark ceiling as he heard thunder rumbling, in the distance. It was late and he had told Olivia he was going to finish some paperwork. He had been alone, in the squadroom, save for Captain Cragen's light on, in his office.

Cragen shut off his light and closed his office door, behind him. "Elliot, everything alright?" Fixing his collar on his jacket, he came to a stop next to Stabler's desk.

Scrubbing a hand over his face and standing up, Elliot nodded. "Yea, just finishing up some stuff."

Nodding, Cragen's brow furrowed slightly. "Anything else?"

Elliot shook his head. "No. I'm just working on some things. I'll be out after I finish this report." After a week of continuances and weak testimonies, on behalf of Jake and Justin, Elliot looked forward to having a weekend to unwind. A deep breath and long exhale as the captain nodded and left him to his work. After another cup of coffee and staring at his finished report, he closed the folder and turned out his desk lamp, he grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and made his way to the lift. The entire way down to the lobby, he had wondered if the young attourney was alright. 

Elliot drove to a small diner, for a late night bite to eat. The diner had only a handful of people inside and almost no one at the long, U-shaped bar, in the middle of the room. Sitting down and ordering a sandwich and a cup of coffee, he glanced around, at the other patrons that sat in the booths, along the right wall. His eye caught sight of two men, facing each other, in a booth, away from the others. Erik had been talking to a young man over something to eat. He grinned as he watched Erik's face light up as he laughed at something that was said. He hadn't recalled ever seeing Erik smile, before. Then, he heard the soft, throaty laugh that went with the smile.

After a few minutes more of laughs and conversation, the other young man grabbed his coat that had been draped over the back of his booth and checked his phone for messages before telling Erik he was called back in to work, and slid out of the seat. He was a nice looking man, in his mid30s, with sandy blond hair that had been borderline too short. He was average height and kept himself well-toned. He had asked if Erik was sure, he would pay for the meals and Erik nodded, telling the young man, goodnight. The smile on Erik's face faded, briefly as he thanked the young man for the company and watched him leave. As the door closed, Erik took another bite of a steak fry slid out of the booth. Picking up the check, from the table, he made his way to the countre to hand the waitress his payment and letting her have the change as tip.

"Are you following me, now, detective?" Erik asked as he came to a stop at the bar, two stools away from where Elliot sat. His coat had been draped over one arm and his attire suggested business casual. Yet, nothing too overdone for a date.

Elliot smiled as the waitress placed his order in front of him. "Just out for a bite." Motioning to the stool Erik stood beside, he glanced over at the young man. "Looking better, Counselour."

Smiling and sitting down on the stool, Erik shook his head. "Just Erik, now. I resigned from the company. Health reasons." Colour had begun to come back to his face and his appetite had returned enough for something other than salads and soups. The burger and fries had been a special treat, to go along with his date.

"Meeting new people...?" Elliot took a bite of his sandwich and chewed as he eyed the young man next to him.

Erik blushed. "He's a friend of my oncologist." He watched Elliot take another bite of his sandwich and wipe his mouth, with his napkin. 

After chewing and swallowing, Elliot put down the sandwich and turned to look at him. "Decided to stay away from court, huh?"

Exhaling as he had hoped to stay away from the topic, altogether, Erik nodded. "Pop keeps me apprised. He tells me just enough before I stop him and then, it's on to little stuff about when my brother and I were kids." He paused as the waitress came over to refill Elliot's coffee and ask if Erik wanted anything. Shaking his head, he watched her leave before turning back to the detective.

"How's the moving coming?" Elliot changed the subject as he hadn't wanted to upset Erik.

Another deep breath. "Karen, my attourney, has asked me to hold off on putting it on the market. At least, until the court is settled." Erik's eyes flashed down, at Elliot's left hand and noticed the tanline but didn't say anything.

Elliot nodded. "That could be awhile." Thunder rolled, outside, emphasizing his words.

"Yea." Erik sighed and paused. "I'll let you eat your meal. Good night, detective." He stood and slowly moved to put his coat on.

Elliot turned and looked back at the windows, after hearing a roll of thunder start. "You sure you don't want to wait for the downpour to pass?" Turning back to Erik, he cleared his throat as the rain started thumping heavy drops outside. Catching the defeat in Erik's face, he gave a small smirk to himself as he stared at the young man's profile, becoming more and more intrigued as the lightning flashed. "How's everything else?" Elliot blinked as Erik paused from slipping his arm into a sleeve.

Erik shrugged. "It's fine. Doctors, lawyers, stuff like that." He removed his arm from the sleeve as the rain pounded harder, and sat back down.

Taking a sip of his coffee, Elliot grinned at the younger man. "At least you're getting out of the house." Nodding to the empty booth Erik and the other young man sat.

This time, Erik gave a small laugh with his smile. "It's nothing sexual, Detective. He's nice and good looking but, he's not exactly my ideal partner."

"He's not that into a catch, like you?" Hoping to lift Erik's self-esteem, Elliot smiled coyly and took a bite of his sandwich as Erik blushed and lowered his gaze.

Erik caught Elliot's eye. "Are you hitting on me, Detective?"

Blushing, Elliot took another bite of his sandwich, chewed and swallowed. Clearing his throat, he changed the subject, again. "Buy you a cup of coffee?" He had hoped the diner's poor lighting hid the colour in his cheeks as he tapped the countre, in front of Erik.

A smirk as Erik caught the waitress's eye and held up a finger, signifying one, and then pointed to Elliot's coffee cup. He waited for her to place a fresh cup of coffee, in front of him, before he stood and excused himself to the restroom. When he returned, he found Elliot still sitting there, waiting for him. The plate had been removed, as Elliot had finished, and the handsome detective now sat and waited patiently, for him. A sigh as he sat back down and sipped his coffee. "So, what's the real reason you're out so late, on a school night, detective?" Replacing his cup, on the countre, he turned to look at Elliot.

"I uh, I was following you." Elliot smiled and reveled in the sound of Erik's soft laughter. "No, uh, working late, wanted to grab a bite to eat before going home."

Erik nodded. "Police go home? Unheard of." Smiling and winking with the small joke, Erik stared at the detective's smile.

Enjoying the jovial mood between the two of them, Elliot sipped his coffee, containing the smile. "Occassionally. Usually, just for five minutes." He had caught the wink Erik had coyly worked in and wondered what it would be like to be on a prospective date with the young man. He had obviously caught on that Erik was hitting on him but had tried to be subtle about it. Though, his brain told him to remember his marriage status, for once, Elliot was enjoying being able to smile and laugh, even if it was with another man. 

Erik held his hand over his cup, telling the waitress he had had enough coffee, as she brought the pot over for refills. Glancing out of the window, he watched the few drops of rain drip onto the street. "Well, detective, the rain died down and, it's late. Your family is probably waiting for you." He hadn't wanted to say goodbye, not just yet. However, he knew Elliot wasn't into men and he hadn't wanted to jeopardise whatever small morsel of friendship they have, by keeping the detective there, longer than needed. His heart silently broke as Elliot nodded and took one last sip of coffee before standing up and grabbing his coat, he had draped over the stool to his left.

"You have a ride home?" Elliot asked as he slipped on his coat.

Erik stood and slipped his coat on, as well. "CleanRide Company. They cater to cancer patients. Staying in town, for a few days. Have some things to finish up, at the office and then doctor appointments. My hotel is just a few blocks from here." He had hoped Elliot wouldn't leave it at that and go their separate ways. Yet, he couldn't and wouldn't hold the detective longer than Elliot wanted to be there. "Thank you for the coffee, Detective." He smiled and reached for his cell phone he had tucked into an inside coat pocket. He froze as Elliot placed a hand over his and stopped him from calling a cab.

Paying for the meal and two coffees, Elliot replaced his wallet, in his back pocket, and waved Erik outside. 

Smirking, Erik followed Stabler out of the diner and over to Elliot's car. "Do you enjoy giving me rides, detective?"

Elliot opened the passenger door and paused as he thought about what Erik said. "Call it, saving you the wait time." He winked and waited for Erik to sit down, in the seat, before shutting the door. As he sat down in the driver's seat and shut his own door, he placed the key into the ignition and waited for directions.

~~~~~~~~~

Parking the car in front of the motel room, Elliot looked around. The hotel Erik stayed in was a brand new, five-star hotel that had been a service of Caldwell & Jameson. An expensive hotel with clean-room capabilities, for those in need of the service. The main function of the hotel had been for visiting wealthy clients and senior partners, as well as high-ranking employees with credible backers. Elliot could only wonder how or whom afforded the bill. "Here you are, Mr. Matthews." He glanced over at Erik and caught a glint of sadness in the young man's expression.

Erik sighed and unfastened his seatbelt. "I suppose the 'coffee-for-the-ride-home' won't work, this time." He smiled faintly. "Thank you, for the evening and ride, Detective Stabler." Opening his door, he paused and turned back to Elliot. "I wish I had met someone like you. Your family is very lucky to have you, in their lives. Good night, Elliot." Before Elliot could process what was said or even say "good night" back, Erik had gotten out of the car and shut the door, hurrying to the lobby door, to go up to the second floor room, he had taken for the week. His pace slowed, the higher he had climbed, until he stopped and turned around to see Elliot's car still sitting in the spot. 

Elliot watched Erik stop and turn around on the halfway mark. Concern had entered his expression as Erik gave him a small smile. He could tell Erik had been fighting depression from the recent turn of events and also from his grim diagnosis. Something tugged at his mind and refused to let the young man disappear behind an empty motel room door. Taking a deep breath, Elliot shut off the engine, unfastened his seatbelt and opened his door. He locked and shut it before running to catch up to the young man that was now at the lobby door. "Counselour, you feel up to a chat?"

Pausing and turning around to see Elliot take the strides to meet him at the door, Erik smiled and nodded, leading Elliot to the lift. "Come on in, detective." Unlocking and opening the door, Erik flipped the light on and unbuttoned his coat. "Coffee? I only have instant, though. Or, would you prefer something stronger?" Removing his coat and laying it on the end of the bed, he turned to see Elliot close the door and stare at him. "Something wrong?"

Elliot glanced around the small room, noting the small black bag with Erik's things, neatly folded inside, sitting on a luggage rack at the end of the bed. He also noted the small toiletries bag, on the nightstand and, in the dim light of the room, the pale and thin young man that now sat on the edge of the bed. "No," he shook his head and smiled as he removed his own coat and sat down, in the chair, by the door.

Nodding, Erik shifted on the bed. "Are you afraid to say 'good night,' Elliot?"

"You could say that."

"Why?" Erik blinked.

Elliot was silent for a long time. Leaning forward and staring down, at his hands as they were clasped together, Elliot sighed. "It's a cop thing. Intuition."

"You can let me go, detective."

A visible flinch as the sentence registered with Elliot. "No."

Brow furrowing, Erik wasn't sure how to take the answer. He also leaned forward to close the gap between them, copying Elliot's position. "Are you always this involved with your cases, Detective Stabler?" He could see the tension in Elliot's body and the terrified expression the man tried to conceal. Thin, dark eyebrows knitted together as he recognised the struggle silently going on behind Elliot's facade. Biting his lip and easing himself off of the bed, Erik knelt at the detective's feet and slowly, gingerly, reached up to cup Elliot's left cheek with a warm hand. "What are you afraid of, Elliot?" Their eyes met and for an instant, he had calmed the daemons Elliot silently wrestled with. "What can I do to help you?"

Elliot didn't answer but kept staring into the younger man's pleading, moist, caramel eyes. Raising his own hand to Erik's pale cheek, gingerly wiped his thumb along the thin, pick bottom lip and stared at the gesture. Erik had smelled clean, like Zest soap and apricots. His skin was soft, almost fragile. Elliot felt that if he pressed hard, at all, Erik would break.

Erik swallowed, not sure if he was able to move. His mouth opened to speak but nothing came. A sharp inhale and shifting his position, he was surprised to find the detective's lips pressing themselves to his. A sharp inhale as his eyes closed and he felt Elliot's hands in his hair. The kiss deepened as Erik brought his other hand up to cup the detective's face. He reveled in the taste of the man's lips, savouring kisses. Wrapping his arms around Elliot, Erik's nails pressed into the man's muscular back. He breathed in the scent of aggressive detective but flinched as he felt Elliot's strong hands grab his forearms and hold him, firmly. Erik gasped as he was pulled to his feet. Their lips parted and Erik sighed. "Please don't let this be a mistake." Erik pleaded with himself. "This is all that I wish for." He sighed, disappointed with himself, as he knew it wouldn't last. He didn't dare open his eyes or look up, into the face of the man still holding him.

Elliot held Erik, still, and forced himself not to tighten his grip but let go completely as Erik groaned under the strength. He panted as he removed his hands from Erik's arms. "This is wrong."

Erik stared at the floor. "Things that don't belong to me." It was said under his breath but loud enough for Elliot to hear.

"I can't take advantage of you. You're a victim, for one. For two, you're ill." Elliot turned and walked away, stopping a few steps to the door.

Looking up, Erik stared at Elliot's back. "I'm not dead yet, detective."

Elliot turned and met Erik's eyes. "Why aren't you staying with your family?"

Stepping back, Erik sat down on the corner of the bed, hands folded in his lap. "Why aren't you with yours?"

The verbal slap of reality had hit Elliot, full force. He had thought he had kept his private life out of his professional life but they had intertwined as he delved more and more into the personal life of Erik Matthews. He withdrew his argument and averted his attention, only turning back as Erik stood and closed the gap between them, placing trembling hands on Elliot's shoulders.

"Instead of being with your wife, detective, you're here, with me. You won't let me go, for some reason, and I can't help you, for another." Slipping a hand down to Elliot's chest, Erik watched the stoic facade of Detective Stabler change. "What do you need from me, Elliot?" He swallowed and prayed Elliot wouldn't swat him away, again. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he gingerly tilted his head and played small, light kisses on Elliot's left jaw, inhaling the scent of Elliot's aftershave. "Is this what you need?" A soft, subtle whisper spoken so sensually, Erik wanted so badly for Elliot to give in to him. "Elliot--?"

The detective was silent for a long while, avoiding eye contact with the young man. "Thought sex didn't interest you." His brow furrowed in confusion over what had just happened.

"There is no enjoyment from it but, I can still give pleasure." Erik paused and swallowed shallowly. "You didn't enjoy it?" Shame consumed him and he turned away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry, Detective Stabler. I misread signals. If you wish to press charges,...... I.... understand." He paused as Elliot grabbed him by the arm and carefully turned him around to face him.

Elliot stared at the soft, thin, pink lips that had kissed him so pleasantly. "You didn't enjoy it? Even a little?"

Sighing, Erik shifted from one foot to another. "It's like eating when you're not hungry, or full. Or, spending all day at a water park and then being asked to go swimming, when you get home. Your body is always in pain, always exhausted and always uncomfortable. I used to enjoy it. But, none of that matters if you didn't."

"Doesn't seem fair." Lifting Erik's chin to initiate eye contact, Elliot leaned in and gently kissed Erik's left cheek. "Does that feel good?"

Erik nodded, too embarrassed to answer verbally. A low moan as the kisses continued. Closing his eyes, he felt Elliot's warm, open palm caress him. "Please....." he whispered.

Elliot halted his caresses. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No." Erik hushed a whimper. His body was responding to Elliot's touches, mixing euphoric sensations with tiny jabs of pain and nausea.

Elliot leaned closer and gingerly kissed Erik's neck. His ears picked up soft moans as he continued, kissing Erik's neck and collarbone. An arm snaked around Erik's middle and drew him closer, holding them together. He could feel Erik shiver, under his clothes, a navy long-sleeved polo sweater and thick black jeans. He breathed calmly as Erik wrapped his arms around him and rest his head on Elliot's shoulder. He jumped as Erik flinched from his phone alarm breaking the silence. 

Erik flinched again, as the alarm sounded for a second time, demanding his acknowledgement. He held tighter to Elliot as the detective tried to let go.

"C'mon. You should take your medicine." Elliot whispered and rubbed Erik's back.

A sigh as Erik let go and sullenly removed his cell phone from his coat pocket and shut off the alarm. Making his way over to the nightstand, he placed the phone down, next to the lamp and picked up his toiletry bag. Erik removed his pill keeper and opened the night tab. He sat down on the side of the bed and dumped the pills into his hand and reached for the bottle of water, that sat patiently by the bag, on the nightstand. Opening the bottle, he took his pills, one by one, a sip of water to wash each pill down. When he looked up again, he found Elliot kneeling at his feet, untieing Erik's shoes and slipping them off. He smiled at the gesture. "A father, first. Hm?"

Elliot looked up and smirked. "You want to change into your pajamas, or sleep in your clothes?" He stood after taking the second shoe off and stepped back so that Erik could stand up.

"No, I'll change." Placing the bottle of water down, on the nightstand, he stood and moved to his bag of clothes to pull out his long, flannel pajamas and made his way to the bathroom. When he emerged, he had changed from his clothing into his gray flannels and readied himself for bed. He had even changed his socks to clean ones. Placing his soiled clothing into another bag, under the luggage rack and looking back to Elliot, who still waited by the bed, he noticed that the detective had pulled back the covers and waited to tuck him in. 

Making his way back over to the bed, he paused, as if to say something but then sighed and sat down. Slipping his legs under the covers and lying down, he watched as Elliot covered him up and straightened from his bent over position. Grabbing Elliot by the arm, he took a breath and sat back up. "Please,.... will you stay? Just until I fall asleep?" He pleaded, meeting eyes with Elliot.

The feeling of dread overcame Elliot, again. He had seen the same look, down in the car, not 40 minutes prior. Sighing and sitting down on the side of the bed to remove his shoes, Elliot then made his way around, to the other side of the bed, and stretched himself out, above the covers, beside Erik. Pausing as Erik shifted and turned on his left side, Elliot lie on his back, his arms wrapped around the young man as Erik placed his head on Elliot's right shoulder. "Close your eyes. Rest." 

With a deep, content breath, Erik smiled and snuggled Elliot's shoulder, draping his right arm over Elliot's stomach. "It wasn't too long ago that the positions were reversed. Kevin liked to snuggle close to me, in order to fall asleep. Jake, too. After Jake, I forgot what it was like to have someone lie next to me. I miss the feeling of those days." Erik's voice was just above a whisper and faded as he closed his eyes and started to drift off to sleep. He listened to Elliot's calm rhythmic heartbeat and breathed in the detective's scent.

 

Continued.


	11. Chapter 11

Rikers  
3:53 PM, Saturday

Jake sighed as he walked into the cage set aside for consultations with lawyers. Rolling his eyes as he stared at Alex Cabot, on the other side of the table, and his own lawyer, who stood next to her. "Figures, you'd come crawlin' to me. What's a matter? Erik still whining and crying about how he misses me?" His gray jumpsuit had toned his skin a pale white and his face seemed to look older, since being in his current surroundings. Taking the chair across from the two women, he slumped against the back and resolved to a bored expression.

"Actually, we're here to offer you a deal." Alex sat up in her seat and folded her arms on the table.

Scoffing, Jake looked from the attractive woman, across from him, to Ms. Craig. "What kind of deal?"

Alex shifted. "Give up whose idea it was to murder Aaron Jasper and then dress him up as Erik Matthews and I'll take lethal injection off the table." She sat very stoic and watched him closely. 

Jake was silent for a long moment and then started to smile and laugh. "Erik put you up to this, didn't he?" He looked pointedly at Cabot but glanced up at his own attourney as the woman leaned over the table and cleared her throat.

Shaking her head, Alex clarified. "Mr. Matthews can't help you, now. This is going to trial with both you and Justin Paxton as murderers and co-conspirators or, you can give us proof Paxton acted alone, in his murdering of Aaron Jasper and spend the rest of your life in a cushy cell."

Jake's face drained of his jovial expression. "Did somethin' happen to Erik? Is he..... okay?" His breath caught as neither woman answered the question. Worry set in about the younger man. Instantly, he was hit with a multitude of regret for his snide behaviour towards Erik and complete disregard for Erik's health and well-being. He had loved the young man and came to enjoy his company.

"Jacob, we know you really care for him and secretly want what's best for him. But, right now, he needs you to tell the truth." Linda sighed and verbally pressed her client for help.

Nodding, Jake sat back. "I want it in writing. I roll and you take the death penalty off the table." 

"Man One, twenty-five to life."

Another scoff from the prisoner. "That's it?"

"Mr. Paxton's lawyer will go after you about your prior run-ins and lifestyle. Your record reflects previous misdemeanours and arrests where double jeopardy does not apply. Which means, he can and possibly will enter the death of one, Brent Paxton. Erik can't help you, there. But, maybe, you can keep yourself out of Death Row long enough to make amends with him." Alex's voice was stern as she grew impatient.

With a final look upward, to Ms. Craig, Jake sighed and shifted in his seat, sitting forward and leaning on the table. He was silent for a long moment, wrestling with himself over the knowledge of Brent, a lost lover, he had been suspected in the murder of. "I only wanted to get back at Erik for gettin' sick. So, I had Aaron wear a suit of his and pretend, for awhile. Justin hated Erik for always being in the middle. You've seen the pictures. They could be twins!"

"Was that why Justin came up with the plan to murder Aaron?" Alex questioned.

Jake looked away and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I didn't know he was going to sink to murder." He paused and wiped his eyes. "I just wanted Erik to get jealous. So, I hooked up with Justin on the site and then Aaron came into the picture. It was like I was the rope in a tug of war between Justin and Aaron. Then, Justin started getting really kinky. Sex games and pretending and role playing. He didn't know about Erik until Erik called me, one afternoon. Justin asked about him and the next thing I knew, Justin was following him, everywhere. Aaron was just in the middle."

"You knew Justin was following Erik?"

Jake nodded.

Alex sat back. "You'll testify to that, in court?"

"I'm not doing 25, or lethal injection. I didn't kill Aaron." 

Linda came to stand beside her client and stare down at Alex. "Fifteen, with good behaviour."

Alex stood and gathered her file that she had brought with her. "Your client was a willing participant in the events that lead up to the ruining of one man's career and health and played a key factor in the death of another. Twenty-five is the lowest I will offer. If Erik wishes to put in a kind word for him, that is up to him."

Linda dared Jake to say another word against the current standing. "Deal."

 

Trial Part 34  
8 April, Monday  
9:53 AM

Jake sat on the Witness Stand, once more, this time he had been asked to recount the last day of Aaron Jasper's life and how Justin Paxton figured into the situation. He thought about the question he had been asked by Ms. Cabot and took a breath as he stared calmly back at her. "It was my idea to play dress up. So, I borrowed a suit of Erik's and pretended." He paused as the door opened and Erik silently slipped in and sat down, in the back, next to his father and brother. A small smile tugged at the corners of Jake's mouth, for a second, and then went slack as his attention had been recalled to Ms. Cabot's question.

"Has Aaron Jasper ever seen Erik Matthews?"

"No. Not in person, only photos." Jake shifted in the chair and sighed.

Nodding, Alex glanced over at Justin, sitting in the Defense chair, next to his attourney. "What about Justin Paxton? Has Justin Paxton ever seen Erik Matthews?"

Jake lowered his head and nodded. "Yes. Yes, he became obsessed with Erik."

Alex moved closer, from standing behind her table. "Why do you say he was 'obsessed' with Mr. Matthews?"

Jake stared at her for a long moment and then extended his stare to the back of the room, where a patient Erik still sat. "Every time, we would do it, he'd ask how Erik liked it. Or, when we could do it in Erik's bed." He flinched as Erik's jaw opened slightly, out of shock.

"How often did that happen?" Alex came around to lean against her table and fold her arms in front of her.

Feeling a little more nervous than he had been, when on the stand, Jake shifted again. "Once or twice. Mainly, it was other places in Erik's home." Quickly covering any trace of remorse, Jake cleared his throat averted his eyes from Erik's.

Nodding again, she shifted. "How did Mister Paxton react to knowledge of your dating him and Erik, at the same time?"

"Objection. Where is this line of questioning going?" Mr. LaRue sighed and stood up to ask his question to the judge, who sat in her chair, wondering the same thing.

Alex looked from Jake to the judge. "Establishing a timeline, your honour." 

Blinking, Judge Wyatt sighed and gave a bored look in Alex's direction. "Ms. Cabot, you have a strange way to get to the point. Please make a direct route."

Alex turned back to Jake. "Mr. Martinelli, how did you meet Justin Paxton?"

"I went on a dating website, one night. Erik and I had a fight so, I thought I'd get back at him with going out with someone else. Justin tagged me, for a date, and we went out." Shifting and brushing imaginary lint off of his left thigh, as it had been crossed over his right, Jake quietly cleared his throat and waited for the next question.

Brow furrowing, Alex moved back to her table and opened a file containing her notes and other various papers for the trial. "This was before or after you and Erik broke up?" She paused on a page with Jake's initial statement and skimmed the page. 

"Before."

Sighing, in thought, Alex reread the paragraph and nodded before looking back up to Jake. "Mr. Martinelli, how would you classify your relationship with Mr. Paxton? Good? Bad?" She had decided to question him about the motive behind forwarding his mail to Erik's office and changing his place of residence to Erik's home. Mentally noting the small indication of shock that played on his face, she blinked and waited patiently for the answer.

Jake raked his bottom lip with his top front teeth. He didn't answer.

"Shall I repeat the question, Mr. Martinelli?"

"No." Jake shifted and scratched an assumed itch on his right thigh. "At first, it was fine. We had supper a few times, wine, sex, then he'd talk about building some house, in Boston, so that we could move in together. After knowing me a month, he wanted me to move in with him." He stopped and blinked to see Erik's reaction, at the back of the room, only to find the younger man had sat, expressionless, watching with internal heartbreak. He had known Erik long enough to understand that the young lawyer had rarely shown emotion, even when he was beyond angry with Jake.

"Given your current standings with Mr. Matthews, at the time, was that something you were considering?"

A look of unease filtered across Jake's face as, watching Erik's expression, Erik had shifted and tilted his head as if nonchalantly being intrigued by the forthcoming answer. "No. And when I told him no, we had a fight." A side glance to Justin told him that the defendant hadn't felt any remorse or care that he was being prosecuted for murder.

Looking over the statement, in front of her, Alex thought about the phrasing of her next question. "Was that before or after you changed your mail location and place of residence to Mr. Matthews office?"

"Before."

Ms. Cabot moved from behind her table to make her way back to the middle of the floor, blocking Jake's view of Erik. "What was the reasoning behind the transfers?" A lock of hair fell across her forehead and the shift of her stance caused mute sounds in the material of her gray skirt and azure top. The sleeves had been rolled back, from her slendre wrists.

Jake seemed slightly annoyed at not being able to keep eye contact with Erik but, cleared his throat and focused on the woman in front of him. "He was mad at me for saying no and not giving a reason. Then, he showed me the photos of Erik that he had taken of him, like it was a stakeout, or something. He told me Erik was too good for me and that I'd better 'count my blessings' for knowin' him." He could still hear the voice of an angry Justin, in his head.

"How did you meet Aaron Jasper?"

Sighing and pressing back, against the back of the chair, Jake closed his eyes and prayed Erik would leave the courtroom. "Erik and I had a fight, one night and Justin was unavailable so, I tried the dating site again and found a kid that almost looked like Erik. We messaged back and forth for a bit and then it was on."

"You're a fucking liar!" Justin stood up and screamed at Jake, not paying any attention to the gavel banging or the two armed guards standing behind him and grabbing his arms to make him sit back down.

The gavel banged loudly on the desk, a few more times, before Judge Wyatt spoke sternly to Justin's lawyer. "Control your client, counselour."

Mr. LaRue nodded to the judge and leaned over to whisper for Justin to be silent.

Alex stared at Jake's expression and gave a moment of silent before continuing her questions as if the outburst hadn't happened. "How did Paxton and Jasper meet?"

Jake swallowed. "I introduced them."

"And then what?"

Jake shrugged and smiled, smugly. "We did what every gay man wants to do; have sex. And sex. And sex."

"Nothing further."

Justin's lawyer stood up and sighed inwardly before making his way around to the Witness Stand to start his questioning. "You moved back to Manhattan from Brooklyn eleven years ago. Is that correct?"

"Yea."

"Would you mind telling the court why, Mister Martinelli?" LaRue came to a stop a few feet away from the stand and held a sheet of paper, in his hands.

Jake cleared his throat and shifted. "Family business." Eyeing the paper in the man's hands, his stomach began to churn.

LaRue nodded. "Family business. Are you sure it wasn't because you were a prominent suspect in the death of your previous lover, a young man by the name of Brent Paxton?" Raising an eyebrow at Jake's astonishment at hearing the name he had never wanted to hear again. LaRue smiled and stepped forward, showing the photo to the judge and then moving to stand in front of the jury box. "Exhibit A, your Honour; Brent Paxton of Brooklyn, New York." When Judge Wyatt glanced over her bifocals and nodded at the photo of a clean cut young man with light brown hair, he turned and showed the jury and Cabot before placing it in front of Jake. "Do you remember him?"

Jake sighed. "I wasn't charged with anything." Glancing back to where Erik sat, he watched the younger man's expression and tried to read what Erik was thinking of the new knowledge.

Nodding again, LaRue tilted his head in question and then looked back at his client. "It never dawned on you, the last name of this young man and my client? Or, the striking resemblance they had to one another?"

Alex Cabot stood and called an objection to the relevancy of the questioning.

"Sustained. Counselour, where is this going?" Judge Wyatt looked less than interested in the man's questions.

Mister LaRue turned to the judge and inhaled. "Establishing a connection between my client and Mister Martinelli, your honour."

"Establish a little faster, counselour." Wyatt warned.

Mister LaRue was silent a moment and then turned back to Jake. "How long were you and Brent Paxton dating?"

Jake shrugged. "About a year, I guess."

"Who called the relationship off?"

"I did."

"Why?"

Jake ran his front teeth over his bottom lip. "He lacked a 'take-charge' attitude." His eyes looked from the lawyer, in front of him, to Erik's. They stared at each other for a moment before Erik broke the gaze to look down at his lap at something Jake couldn't see.

Mister LaRue turned his head and looked in the direction of Jake's stare. "A trait you saw in Erik Matthews, correct?" He pointed to the young man, at the back of the room and turned back to see Jake's expression as he singled the man out. 

Jake watched as the jury and some visitors, in the gallery, turned to stare at Erik. Feeling possessive over his ex-lover, he cleared his throat loudly and drew the attention back to himself. "Yes." Glaring at the lawyer, in front of him, he forced himself to relax and remember where he was.

"But, you ended your relationship with Mister Matthews after finding out he had a life-threatening disease and promptly started a relationship with Aaron Jasper, a young man -as you put it- 'was a casual fling of sex and more sex.' That didn't strike you as strange? I mean, you cut Brent Paxton loose for being too inexperienced, only to start dating Erik Matthews -a young man, also but one with a steady goal and then, you cut him loose because he's dying from something he can't control, only to fall back into a rut of immaturity, with Aaron Jasper. Have I got it all, Mister Martinelli?" He paused to see the anger rise, in Jake's face. "Once Aaron becomes boring, you start a relationship with my client, who you don't recognise as your first lover's brother. I'm seeing one Hell of a vicious circle, Mister Martinelli."

Jake slammed his fist on the banister. "NO!"

Ms. Craig stood up from her spot at Alex Cabot's table. "Objection. Badgering."

"Withdrawn." Mister LaRue held his hands up to show he had backed off from questioning and added, "nothing further" before sitting back down.

Judge Wyatt checked her watch and sighed. "This court stands in recess. We'll resume this hearing at one o'clock." The gavel banged loudly before she stood and made her way back to her chambers, for lunch.

As the courtroom emptied, Erik remained sitting and watched as Jake and Justin were both lead away, in handcuffs. A shiver raced down his back as his brother sat down beside him, on the bench. With his hands trembling, in his lap, Erik refused to let his brother see the hurt that wanted to loose itself. "Leave me alone, Aleksei. I'm not in the mood for your 'I told you sos'."

Shaking his head, the detective turned himself to face Erik and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm not going to say that, to you."

"Good. I don't need to hear it."

Alex stared at Erik's profiled face, silently admiring his younger brother's collectiveness. "How about we get something to eat? Pop says you have medications to take."

Erik shook his head. "Not hungry."

The detective sighed, inwardly. "That wasn't a suggestion, Erik. You need to eat something. Those medications are--" He was silenced as Erik finally turned his head to stare at his brother.

"Those medications are what, Aleksei? Keeping me alive for another day? Making sure I live to see the end of this damned trial just so that I can die knowing what my boyfriend and that other guy did to that poor young man who was supposed to be me? I need to stay alive for this? Why? Tell me, why?" Erik had finally let his anger seep into his words and he glared at his brother's calm expression. He had sat through the first half of the trial, debating to himself of why he was there, in the first place. He had wanted to stay away and spend the day anywhere else but where he had ended up and now, he regretted his decision of not getting up and walking out, once the testimony had taken a turn for the worse.

"That's not what I was going to say, Erik. I meant, those medications might help you beat this. You don't have to die from this.... thing." Alex knew the words but hadn't wanted to use them, in an attempt to boost his brother's hopes. 

Erik sighed, annoyed at Alex's wording of his condition. "Cancer. It's called, Cancer. And, if you can't handle that word, try 'Chronic Myelocytic Leukemia'. Or, how about CML? Has it sunk in, yet, Aleksei?"

Alex remained silent as he stared at his brother, the hurt in Erik's eyes biting him.

They stared at each other for a long while before he finally won the silent argument. He stood and helped Erik to his feet. Putting his arm around Erik's shoulders, they walked out of the courtroom and down the hall to the lift, where Captain Anders had been waiting.

***********

Trial Part 34  
8, April, Monday  
1:38 PM

Mr. LaRue stood behind his table and paused before starting his line of questioning to his client. "Where were you, when your brother, Brent, was killed?" 

"I was in Nashville, giving lectures to a few college classes about Architecture and Design." Justin sat in the chair and folded his hands on his right leg as he crossed it over his left. Clean shaven and a pressed gray Armani suit told the court he had the money to expense his rich tastes, even from a jail cell. Expensive loafers shined to perfection had cost little more than his wristwatch. He wore a smug expression that became mute with each question from his lawyer.

"How did you hear about your brother's death?" 

Justin bowed his head and sighed, thinking back to the day a cop from New York came to see him. "I had just finished a lecture and a Homicide detective stood up, from the front row and pulled me aside to tell me my brother was found in the Hudson." He paused to brush off an imaginary piece of lint from his right knee. "He started asking me all kinds of questions that I had no idea what to tell him."

Mr. LaRue nodded and moved to stand closer to the Witness Stand. "Did you know your brother, Brent, was gay?"

Clearing his throat and shifting uneasily, Justin nodded. "Yea. I knew. He'd been that way since fifth grade." Glancing at Jake, he sighed again and straightened in his seat.

"Did you ever meet Mr. Martinelli, or hear of him, from Brent?"

Justin shook his head. "No. Brent was very secretive with his boy toys."

Mr. LaRue nodded. "Did you know anything about Mr. Martinelli, before you met him, online?"

"No."

Erik noticed Jake had straightened from his slouched position, as if being kicked in the seat by extreme force. He then watched as Jake leaned over and whispered something to his lawyer.

Mr. LaRue stepped closer to Justin. "So, how did you come to know Jacob Martinelli was Brent's ex-lover?"

Justin sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I came across some old photos of them together, while cleaning out his room."

"Nothing further."

"You found some photos with your late brother and my client, while you were cleaning out your brother's bedroom. Correct?" Ms. Craig stood up and walked around to stand in front of her desk.

Justin smirked. "That's what I just said, yes."

Nodding, Ms. Craig leaned against her desk and braced her hands on either side of her. "How did you find out my client's name? You said your brother kept everything private but, yet you seemed to know who he was." 

Looking at the woman, Justin glanced over at Jake before looking back to answer the question. "His uh, his name was on back of one of them."

"How long afterwards, did you decide to make the trip to Manhattan to find him?"

"Almost a year."

Again, Ms. Craig nodded. Sighing and pushing off of the desk, she stepped closer. "Why?" Her brow furrowed as she stared at him. "Why did you wait a year to track down the boyfriend of your deceased brother, a boyfriend you had no prior knowledge of?"

For the first time since he sat down, Justin was beginning to look nervous. "I just wanted to talk to him about Brent. Talk to someone else about my kid brother and see who was important in his life." He knew where this was headed and Justin didn't like it. Clearing his throat, nervously, and shifting in his seat, he fought to control his demeanour and movements.

"Were you dating anyone, at the time of Brent's death?" Ms. Craig shifted from her left foot to her right foot.

Mr. LaRue stood up and addressed the judge. "Objection. Your honour, counsel is putting my client on trial for what? Murdering his own brother all the way from Tennessee?" He had sat and listened to as much as he cared to hear and know about a case that wasn't even in their jurisdiction and had grown tired of wasting his client's time by bringing up old memories.

"Your Honour, I am merely ironing out the wrinkles in the timeline, prior to my client meeting Mister Matthews. There are some noted inconsistencies that only Mister Paxton can clarify." 

"Approach." Judge Wyatt covered the microphone on her bench as the two counselours walked up to stand at the desk. Looking down at Ms. Craig, she stared at the woman over top of her glasses. "I'm not understanding your tactics, Counselour." 

Taking a deep breath and blinking up at the judge, Lindsay cleared her throat and explained her line of questioning. "Brent Paxton's murder remains unsolved. Brooklyn Homicide has no leads other than Jacob Martinelli." Glancing over at Mr. LaRue, she clarified. "A fact your client has known for 12 years. Mister Paxton is on trial for the murder of Aaron Jasper, a motive I am trying to establish." Finishing her statement, she glanced back up at Judge Wyatt's unamused expression.

Wyatt sighed deeply. "Establish a little faster, Ms. Craig. Step back." Uncovering the microphone and watching the two counselours return to their places, she nodded over to the stenographer. "Objection sustained. Get to the point, Ms. Craig."

Lindsay stepped closer to Justin and placed a hand on the banister between them. "Before you left for Tennessee, you were dating someone. Correct?" She reiterated.

"Yes." Justin blinked. His tone and expression had flattened as he hadn't wanted to answer anymore of her questions.

"Male or female?"

Justin ran his tongue over the underside of his top molars, on the left side. "Female."

Ms. Craig nodded. "So, before you came to Manhattan and hooked up with my client, you were straight. Weren't you? Not only straight but engaged to her, as well. Correct?"

Justin's mouth filled with the bad taste he had put out of his mind since moving to Manhattan. "Yes."

"So, why the many changes of lifestyle, if you just wanted to talk to my client?"

Justin's eyes moved from the woman in front of him to Jake, who sat that the desk behind her. "Brent went on and on and on about this 'gorgeous Adonis' from Manhattan. He wouldn't tell me his name or anything like that. Just said he had lots of money. That was the last conversation I had with him. So, I figured I'd meet him, perhaps find out what he knew about my brother's death, that Brooklyn PD wasn't telling me and finally put my baby brother to rest." His stare went cold as his eyes narrowed on Jake. The two men stared at one another in icy contest before Ms. Craig broke the silence.

Ms. Craig nodded and walked back to her desk, opening a file folder of evidence photos of Aaron Jasper. "But, when you got up the nerve to come to Manhattan, you found Jake had already moved on. Didn't he?" Looking up from the top photo and back to Justin, she waited for an answer. "Mr. Paxton?"

Justin's law trembled slightly. "Yes."

"He was already in a relationship with Erik Matthews. Wasn't he?"

A slight nod. "Yes."

"Then, what happened?"

"I found him on a gay dating site. Apparently, his new little toy couldn't get it up." Smirking, Justin moved his gaze to the back of the room and took much delight in Erik's ashamed expression. "After that, it was all too easy."

"What was?"

Justin's eyes fixed on Erik's. He watched as the young man swallowed and stared calmly back at him. "Tearing his life apart, the same way he tore my family's lives apart. So, we devised a threesome. Played a little game, here and there. Then, it got serious. Jake wanted more and more and more."

"Who involved Aaron Jasper into the games?" Lindsay could tell Justin was becoming annoyed with her questions.

"I did." Justin blinked from Erik to Ms. Craig, who stood between the desks. "But then, Jake dumped both of us and wanted to go crying back to that BITCH Matthews!" Justin shook his head, fuming. "I couldn't let him do that. I was so close to getting him to admit that he murdered Brent. I couldn't let him do that to someone else's little brother."

Lindsay took a small step closer. "So, you decided to dress Aaron Jasper up as Erik Matthews, seduce him and frame my client with Jasper's murder. Is that it?"

"No!" Justin angrily shook his head. "Aaron just got in the way. Tried to win back Jake by dressing up as Erik." His voice began audibly calming down as he spoke. "Erik Matthews was the target all along." His mouth twisted in an evil grin and an evil laugh was just barely heard. "But, I never had the chance to get him alone. I wanted to make Jake pay for taking my little brother away from me. For breaking my mother's heart and forcing my dad to have a stroke. I guess the joke was on me. That bitch Erik's already dead."

 

Continued


	12. Chapter 12

It took the jury less than two hours to deliver a guilty verdict. Jake received 15 years, after a plea deal and Justin received 25 with possibility of parole after 10. Justin only glared at the jury for not seeing his point of view as to the justification of his family's loss. Though, Jake seemed more interested in the young man that sat in the back of the court room and stared blankly forward. As both men were lead away in handcuffs, Jake turned around and yelled to the back of the room, "Erik, I'm sorry. You know I love you. I'd never let anything happen to you. Please!"

Erik waited for the court room to empty, sending his father and brother on ahead to deal with the crowd and ready the car for a quick exit, and the reporters to be busy with the lawyers before he made a move to leave. He waited for what seemed an hour but was only 15 minutes and shoved himself to his feet, gathering his strength to open the door and make his way into the hallway. He had thought he made a clear break as most of the reporters were busy checking back with their presses or had left to rush their story first. What Erik hadn't counted on were the stragglers who wanted to get his comment. Turning to the left and taking a step towards the lifts, he was surrounded by microphones and flashing bulbs as a handful of men and women reporters pushed and shoved to get directly in front of him.

"Mister Matthews, how do you feel knowing you were the target and not Aaron Jasper?" One eager man in his mid-forties with a brown suit and bad comb-over asked from beside an oriental woman in back what was lucky to get right in front of Erik's face, her cameraman shining his light brightly on Erik's reaction.

Erik didn't answer and only continued walking forward, forcing the group to walk backwards.

The Oriental woman with a polished American accent adjusted her microphone and blinked several times at Erik before she asked her question. "Mister Matthews, how do you feel about your lover using your lifestyle and home to cover up his affair with two other men? Will you press charges against Mister Martinelli for your rape?" They shared eye contact for a moment before Erik was grabbed hold of, from behind him, by Detective Stabler and led to the Men's Room and offered escape as he and two uniformed officers blocked the door and ordered the reporters to disperse after issuing a "no comment" for the shaken young man.

Erik stood in the middle of the cold and empty restroom and stared at his surroundings. He could hear the commotion outside as his heart pound in his chest. His stomach lurched and Erik made his way to the middle stall and closed and the door behind him. Resting against the wall between his stall and the last one, Erik placed a hand over his mouth and closed his eyes, holding his breath as the door opened and footsteps made their way casually inside.

The footsteps came to a stop at the second sink in the row of four and turned to face the stalls. The man said nothing, only waited patiently for Erik to come out.

Erik gasped from behind his hand. His breaths came in hushed, short pants as heavy tears dropped from his closed eyes. He wanted to scream, to cry, to kick and throw something but the voice in the back of his mind told him no. Soft, short gasps halted when a light tapping came from the other side of the stall door. 

"Erik?" Elliot's voice was low and soft.

It took a full minute before the door opened slowly and Erik stepped out and fell against Elliot's chest, letting the tears flow freely, sobbing against the detective's broad chest. Erik wrapped his arms tightly around the detective and felt Elliot reciprocate, letting the younger man cry. His body shook, uncontrollably, and he felt himself slipping downward but he was being held up by Elliot. Elliot's cologne filtered into his senses and smelled soft and sweet. Resting his head on Elliot's left shoulder, the sobs subsided and he panted as crying gave him shortness of breath. He held on for a few minutes more, until he composed himself well enough not to break down at the sight of Detective Stabler.

Elliot didn't move to pull away, only rubbed Erik's back and waited for the sobbing to stop. 

Erik was the first to pull away and wipe his eyes, turning his back to the detective. "Thank you, Detective. I'll be fine."

Clearing his throat and opening his mouth to speak, Elliot paused. He could tell Erik wasn't in the mood for listening to pillow talk, from a married detective, in a men's room. He thought for a moment and then turned to glance back at the door. "Your uh, your dad is waiting downstairs. I'll uh, escort you to the elevator. Keep the hounds off you."

Erik said nothing, only nodded and swallowed.

**********

Elliot sat at his desk. His elbows rested on several folders of other cases that needed attention while his hands curled in front of his mouth. He stared at Benson's empty seatback. Sighing, he unfolded his position and sat back. His ears replayed the sounds of deep pained sobs, his arms feeling the frail, young man shake, uncontrollably, in his arms.

"El, go home." Olivia moved from behind his chair to stand at her own and put her desk in order before turning off the desklamp and calling it a night. She had been standing behind him for a good five minutes before finally clearing her throat and moving to get his attention. The squad room was dark, save for a few desks that had their personal lights on. The room darkened a bit more as she reached up and turned her small light off. She paused and looked up as he hadn't moved. "Something wrong?"

It had been a long week for all of them working to catch a child rapist who sadistically took ad-related photos of his victims before murdering them and leaving them in bad parts of town. The second victim had been a small girl, fighting her way through Leukemia. Elliot had beaten himself up harder as he saw the word in the medical examiner's report. That one little word had been successful in getting Elliot's thoughts rolling back to young man whose world came crashing down in a matter of four years with a devastating ending.

Raising his head and taking a breath, releasing himself from his deep thoughts, Elliot shook his head. "No, just thinking. I've gotta finish this paper work for a deposition, Friday. I'll see you tomorrow." Clearing his throat and looking down at the files on his desk, he was hoping to brush past the week of no word from Erik Matthews and get back to his job.

Olivia watched him for a minute. "Everything okay with you and Cathy?"

"Yea, we're fine. Just, paperwork. Go home. Get some rest." Elliot opened the folder in front of him and picked up his pen. He heard her tell him "good night" and gave an affirmative hum, back but waited for the ding of the lift and the door to open and close before he sighed forced himself to concentrate on his work. It was already nine o'clock and the three reports to be typed would take him nearly two hours to complete and place in the OUT folder slot of his sorter.

Making it home and in his empty bed by 1:30, Elliot lie on his back and stared at the ceiling. His mind wandered back to the night they were called to Matthews' address and how the young man had looked being carried out, on a gurney and loaded into an ambulance. He hadn't known the trauma Erik had been through, or meeting Captain Anders, who stood at the window and stared at his long estranged son. He wondered about his own children, sons in particular, and how he might react if one or both of them ever came to him and told him they were homosexual. Would he react as the retired captain had? He hoped not but he knew his faith would not let him agree to that lifestyle.

He huffed and rolled onto his left side, curling his arm under the pillow and snuggling deeper into the mattress before closing his eyes and forcing himself to sleep. With a ragged exhale and movement of his right hand, in front of him, on the cold mattress, he opened his eyes and stared out the window, watching the rain drizzle down the glass. He lay there for what seemed like hours until he finally drifted off to sleep but it was a restless sleep.

***********

Erik sat on the bench and stared out at the small lake with an upward spraying fountain, in the middle of it. He had been staring at it for most of the afternoon and listened to birds that chirped and flew overhead. His eyes closed and his head tilted back to feel the cool breeze on his face. Footsteps on the pavement caught his attention and he opened his eyes and turned to see the man standing at the end of the bench. With a sigh, he spoke. "The trial's over, Detective Stabler. This is borderline harassment, you know."

Elliot nodded. "Call it a follow up." He smiled and added, "Captain Anders told me you might be here."

Erik gave a small smile and shook his head. He turned back to look at the fountain that sprayed water upwards and eventually bent back to fall like rain into the lake. "Nothing to do on a Saturday, either?" He patted the seat between them in an invitation for Elliot to sit down. He waited for the man to sit down before speaking again. "Beautiful. Isn't it? I come here to think, sometimes. I like the quiet." His business suit had been replaced by loose blue jeans, a white button up shirt and a black suede jacket that was zipped most of the way. Gray sneakers and white socks kept his feet warm, even though, it was beginning to warm up as Spring was around the corner.

Sitting next to the young man, Elliot noticed a change in Erik's demeanour; more peaceful and relaxed as opposed to his tension of court. "You seem more relaxed than you have been."

"The trial is over. Jake and that man are where they need to be." Erik paused again. "I mailed a letter of apology to Aaron Jasper's family, today. I didn't have the heart to approach them, during the trial. I told them I was sorry he became trapped in the middle of this. I also told them how sorry I was for their loss."

Nodding, Elliot stared at the fountain. "That was nice. I'm sure they appreciate it."

"Pop said they tried to speak to me, a few times but those were the days things got heated, in court. He thought it best to intervene." Erik focused on the water spout and forced himself to listen to the sound of rushing water. He shivered and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. Remembering someone was sitting next to him, he glanced over at Elliot and grinned. "You can't tell me you gave up a Saturday just to keep me company, on a park bench."

Elliot took a long breath before looking over and smiling back at Erik. "Just a...... long week." There was a long silence between them as they both sat and watched the water in the fountain rise and fall. "I uh, I was also wondering if we could talk?" He squinted as he glanced back over to the man beside him. The afternoon sun shone brightly and he hadn't thought about bringing his sunglasses as the clouds had blocked the sunlight for most of the morning. Now that the day was clearing up, he was regretting it.

Another long silence as Erik took slow, lingering breaths. "Jake isn't my client, anymore. I have no intention of getting back together with him."

"I don't blame you. I just wanted to ask how you've been doing, since the trial concluded. It hit you pretty hard, in the men's room. I'm just making sure you're alright." Elliot shifted and turned in his seat to face Erik, placing his elbow on the back of the bench as he stared at the younger man's profile.

Blinking and biting his lower lip, Erik tilted his head back and watched a flock of birds fly overhead. "Are you charging me with assault to your shoulder, Detective?"

Smiling and concealing a laugh, Elliot shook his head. "No. That was a lot to take in and process and get through, on your own. I'm not going to hold it against you."

Leaning forward and lowering his head, Erik glanced back to eye the detective, beside him. His eyes moved down to Elliot's firm chest and lower to his lap. Turning back to stare at the water, he sighed. "It's bugging you that I'm gay. Isn't it? Otherwise, you would have moved on."

Elliot cleared his throat. "You don't exactly act like you're gay. And, it's not my call to tell you how to live your life."

Turning to face Elliot and copy his posture, Erik examined the detective's expression. "You think every gay man has to hit on any man close to him, or that he just wants sex? Just to say that he had a straight guy? I know better than that, Detective Stabler. It's been drilled into me to refrain from making comments to or about things that don't belong to me. What happened in that hotel room, between us was..... I'm not expecting anything to come from it. I would have hugged a post or kissed a pillow. But, that's not what's bothering you, is it?" He swallowed and stared at the buttons on Elliot's navy blue shirt. "Do you want me to hit on you, Elliot?" Meeting the man's eyes again, he cocked his head to the right and waited.

Inhaling sharply but never breaking eye contact, Elliot raked his lower lip with his teeth. "Is that what you want, Erik?"

"What I want isn't relevant. You're the one that, time and time again, has pursued me. Telling me it's because you're a father, yourself or that I was and still am handling this by myself, it seems like a very clever ploy to hit on me. I admit, I used whatever you offered as comfort as something to get me through this bad situation but, now that it's over with, you are still pursuing me. What is it you want me to say to you....... or, do?" Erik held his breath as Elliot processed what he said. They sat a foot apart from each other but Erik felt stifled in the space. 

Elliot didn't answer, only nodded.

Erik moved a little closer. "I can tell you're not the kind of man for this kind of 'open affection.' So, for me to touch you or .... kiss you, sitting here, on a bench, in the middle of Manhattan, would possibly result in me being arrested for assault. Charged with 'forced unwanted affections.' Correct?"

An uneasy shift along with another sharp inhale as Erik moved closer to him. 

A beep from Erik's inside jacket pocket interrupted the silence. The beeping continued as three beeps for every two seconds. Erik sighed heavily as he removed his cell phone and silenced the alarm. "My last few pills. My oncologist informed me, yesterday, I'm in remission." Bowing his head, he smiled to himself, pleased to know he had accomplished something by himself. "My brother and his kids are at the zoo, today. Kaelin is nine and Amy is four."

Congratulating him, Elliot watched Erik closely as the young man's expression lasted momentarily. "You didn't want to go with?" Elliot hadn't revealed the fact that he knew the story of Erik and his brother's trip to the zoo.

Erik turned in his seat to face forward. Shaking his head, he scoffed. "Thanks. Wasn't invited. So, I am sitting here, waiting."

Elliot's brow furrowed. "You're staying with him?"

"Yea. Pop has his moments but he can get a bit too overprotective so, Alex offered me the sofa. However, I get a week's reprieve." Erik cleared his throat and shifted. "I have to take my pills." Finishing his statement, his alarm rang again and he was quick to silence it.

"How long have you been sitting here?"

Erik checked the time on his phone, in his hand, and shrugged. "Couple hours." Glancing back at Elliot, he gave a weak smile. "Buy you dinner, detective? Just friends. Promise." As Elliot nodded, they both stood and turned to look at the string of food shops, across the street. "Then you can tell me why you're stalking me." A smirk as they started walking.

**********

"So, what are you doing in Manhattan? How did you get here?" Making their way back outside after their meal, Elliot stopped to check his watch.

Erik smirked and pointed to a dark gray BMW, across the street. "I do have a driver's license and have been driving for years. A friend of mine is out of town so, I'm watching his place. I just came here to get away for awhile. I should collect the mail and water the plants." He was flattered that Elliot was interested in spending the day with him but he wondered why. Why would the married Detective Stabler hunt him down, just to sit with him on a park bench and then accept lunch? "Was there something you wanted to see me about, Detective?"

Elliot sighed and shrugged. "Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private and talk." The suggestion in itself had made Erik more nervous but Elliot had won the small staring contest and let Erik lead the way to his friend's apartment.

They walked two blocks and turned left into a nondescript building, taking the lift to the seventh floor and then taking a right, they stopped at a door with the marking of 73C on it. They indulged in small talk until they were inside the loft, pausing briefly for Erik to retrieve the mail from the small rectangular postbox, just inside the entrance. "So, we're here. What's so important?" A small, thin table sat beside the doorway, against the wall. He placed the few letters in a neat pile, next to the neat pile of junk mail. 

A small entryway opened up into a large living room, void of clutter, save for a teal 1960s-esque decor sofa with two matched reading chairs with rounded backs. A large entertainment centre adorned the far right wall, complete with a large flat screen television, dvd player and a very expensive sound system. To the left of the entryway was the kitchenette sitting in the middle of the room while the bedroom was carefully concealed around back. Large windows lined the wall in front of them, giving a panoramic view of Hudson.

Elliot stood in the livingroom and turned around to look back at Erik, as he stood next to the small table with the mail on it. "I uh," he paused and turned to wave a hand at the sofa. "Why don't we have a seat?" Making his way over to the firm sofa and sitting down, he waited for Erik to join him. "I've been thinking about this for awhile now and didn't want to add to your stress. That day, I came over to apologise to you and check on you, you fell asleep, from your medication. You were pretty out of it so, I don't expect you to remember all that much."

Erik's calm demeanour was postponed by a small twinge of confusion before changing again to recollection. "I remember." He swallowed and nervously wet his lip with the tip of his tongue.

"Well, while you were asleep, I kept an eye on you. I um.... you started talking in your sleep." Elliot looked up from staring at his jeans, to see Erik's calm expression remain unchanged. "It was probably the medication talking but, you said some things that......" he sighed and thought of how to phrase the rest of the sentence. He couldn't tell if Erik was embarrassed or not as the young man hadn't shown any form of expression, other than recognition. 

"I can tell by your lack of wording that you weren't expecting me to say whatever I said. Correct?" Erik was tired of waiting and wanted to get the obviously painful admission over with as quickly as possible. "What did I say, exactly?" Shifting and facing Elliot, he noted the detective's unease but waited for the answer. He unzipped his jacket and folded his hands in his lap.

Elliot cleared his throat and shifted uneasily, again. "You said that you loved me and wanted to have sex with me."

Erik remained still and quiet and only stared back at him, waiting to see if there was more. He blinked and tried to read Elliot's expression as the detective shifted again. He was patient as their eyes met. He could tell Elliot wasn't sure what to think or how to examine it. Erik waited for the inevitable disgust or anger he might have felt but nothing came. Turning to look out the window a moment, he thought of the words to say. "Does that scare you?"

"Should it?" Elliot shrugged.

"It must if you've been waiting for something to happen to that effect. If it bothered you too much, the night in my hotel room wouldn't have gone as it did. Instead of you staying the night, with me, you would have left abruptly, after we kissed." Erik paused again, giving Elliot a moment to let it sink in what he was saying. "It's has to be mutual, for a relationship to work. You know that. And, you still pursued me, stayed with me or held me in my time of need. If I, at any time, repulsed you, I think I'm big enough to be able to handle the rejection."

Nodding, Elliot cleared his throat and sat back. "People are more honest in their dreams than when they're awake."

"People are more able to control their actions, when awake, than asleep. So far, we've only shared a kiss. If you didn't like it, you were more than able to let me know to refrain from imposing myself on you as well as removing yourself from the possibility of recurrence. Yet, here you are. Are you saying it doesn't bother you?" Another pause. They sat facing each other with a cushion's width between them. Erik hadn't wanted to crowd Elliot. "Or, are you saying you are curious about my statement, Elliot?"

Elliot swallowed and stood up, leaving Erik to sit silently and watch him move to stand in the middle of the shag rug. He sighed and placed a hand over his mouth, in thought. When he lowered it and turned around again, he was met with Erik's awaiting stare. "I try to be a good Catholic. I may not agree with some things people do in their lives but, it's not for me to judge them. Being a cop, putting bad guys in jail is just a job. Part of me chalked those actions and thoughts up to stress and possibly fragile emotions. It happens."

Erik nodded. "Do I make you uncomfortable, Elliot?"

"Is that how you feel about me? Was what you said, in your sleep the real emotion, or are you just saying it to see what I'd do or say?"

Erik's court tone came back to him and he stood up to rephrase his question. "Let me rephrase, Detective Stabler. Does my being homosexual and assertion make you feel uncomfortable?"

Elliot turned around, recognising the lawyer's tone. "No. It doesn't bother me, Counselour."

"Good. I'd like to think there is a possibility for a friendship."

"Is this how all of your relationships start?"

Relaxing his position and sighing, Erik nodded, tiredly. "Pretty much." He was beginning to feel the painful strain of scrutiny.

Elliot crossed his arms and slipped into his interrogation demeanour. "You still haven't answered my question, Erik." 

Erik stared at the floor for a long moment before looking back up at Elliot. "And if I say 'yes'? Does it change anything between us?" His outer expression was calm and monotone but, inside he was shaking. Already, he could see the silent war behind Elliot's eyes. Bowing his head and closing his eyes, he took a breath before looking back up at Elliot. "Yes, it is." A warmth came over him, along with a feeling of shame as well as relief of getting his feelings out, into the open.

Both were still for a long while, taking in what the other had said. 

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Elliot finally broke the silence as Erik shifted.

Erik turned and walked back to sit on the sofa. "Making you uncomfortable with my feelings was not my intention. And, the whole thing with Aaron Jasper and Jake and Justin Paxton was not a good first impression. My prior relationships were different because they are gay, and you are a straight, married Catholic man. By my saying or not saying anything was only sparing one or both of us the hurt and humiliation of having it come to light."

Elliot nodded in understanding. "So, you don't think gays and straights can actually be friends?"

Erik sighed and stood up. "My friend that is out of town, he lives here with his fiancee. She was someone I introduced him to, about a year ago. He and I have been friends since the seventh grade but, I worked with her. Went to law school with her. He's a good guy. Handsome, intelligent, great ass but, he's not into me. And, I'm not trying to change him. Hopefully, I live long enough to attend their wedding. It's a common misconception that people think all gays want to 'turn' everyone else gay, just- either because they can or to play the ultimate joke. It's not true. Love is not a joke. It means you're human." He paused as his nerves started to tingle. "I do have feelings for you. I do want to make love to you, Elliot. But, I won't force myself to choose for you. I don't want to go to my grave, knowing I forced myself on someone who didn't want my affections. But, by kissing you, I already have and for that, I am deeply sorry. It doesn't hurt to dream. It's the real world that has the consequences."

The realisation of Erik's words and Elliot's current living situation hit Elliot hard. "This is very...... overwhelming. But, now I know. Thank you for being honest."

Smiling shortly and turning to busy himself with the rest of his housesitting tasks, Erik felt hot with humiliation. "You're welcome." The words felt sharp and painful as he said them but he continued with his chores. He watered the plants on the window sill or the bedroom and fed the small turtle, in the tank on the desk, next to the sofa. When he finished his chores, he stopped at the end of the entryway and looked over at Elliot, still standing on the rug. "Something wrong?"

While Erik moved about the loft, Elliot stood and thought about his relationship with Cathy and his family before asking himself the same question of why he had pursued Erik. His only answer to himself was that it was his nature not to abandon someone who needed someone else, for support. There was a small piece of Elliot that had fallen in love with the young man's calmness and casual sincerity. "I'm not very good at dealing with certain admissions from people. Being a cop can take a toll on a relationship, and moreso on a marriage. So, I can only imagine what being a gay lawyer is like. On top of being one with cancer. Emotions run high, sometimes and a person gets lonely. They cling to the closest thing, just to have some kind of connection. I think you're very patient, reserved and a good man. You've walked through Hell and never really asked for anyone's shoulder, only waited for what was offered to you. You've got a second chance, now. You should be out, celebrating, not sitting on a bench where your ex-lover and another man left your dead lookalike. Or, has this whole thing caused you to retreat and force yourself to be alone and miserable, just to appease your dad and brother?" Elliot watched Erik's cheeks redden in shame. "I got time, if you want to talk?"

Erik shook his head. "Talking is really the last thing I want to do, right now, detective."

Elliot stepped forward and stopped in front of Erik, waiting.

Swallowing and averting his eyes, Erik took a deep breath. When he looked back to Elliot, he could feel his heart race at the closeness of the man became unbearable. "If this is a lesson to keep to my own kind, I get it. No need for cruel jokes." He was silenced from continuing by Elliot's mouth against his. When the kiss ended, Erik pulled away, wide-eyed and shocked. "Are you feeling alright, detective?"

"Call it payback for the hotel. And, curiosity."

"For?"

Elliot gave a disarming smile. "I think you want an older man whose sane enough not to do drugs or get drunk on a nightly basis. Someone who lets you be in control when you want to be and feel safe enough to relent, when you need comforting. Is that why you find me attractive, Erik?" He watched as Erik tilt his head back and averted his eyes in a small wave of nerves. "It's not a crime to want some stability in your life, Erik. It's what we all want. You said yourself, Jake was supposed to be that way and he wasn't."

Wanting to reach up and embrace Elliot, Erik flinched and stopped himself. Instead, he backed up and turned towards the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water, from the refrigerator. Taking two bottles of water and placing the second on the countre, for Elliot, he paused. "Would you prefer something stronger? You might not be as open to where this is concluding, as you might think." Erik watched Elliot pick up the bottle of water and make his way back over to sit on the sofa and invite Erik to join him.

Elliot removed his own brown leather coat and placed it over the arm of the sofa, next to him. He placed the bottle of water on the coaster, on the end table and waited as Erik followed suit.

"Are you sure a man just out of cancer is ready for sex?" Elliot's voice was soft.

Erik smiled shyly. "I am past the point of virginity, Elliot. Rough sex is not my thing but I can take a man slow, and be slow, in return."

Elliot smiled. "You want me to make love to you?"

Leaning forward, Erik sighed. "I think this is what you want, Elliot. Isn't it? That's why you were afraid to let me go, in the hotel room." Before continuing, he shifted. "I was Catholic once, too. In the master bathroom, there's a box of condoms and some KY. If you wish to reconsider and leave before I get back, there's no hard feelings, detective."

Elliot nodded as Erik stood and made his way to the bedroom for the condom and jelly. Shifting, Elliot glanced down at his open shirt and debated getting up and leaving. Erik wasn't coming back right away but, instead waited to see what Elliot would do. He wrestled with himself for a moment before catching sight of Erik leaning against the wall of the bedroom entryway.

Making his way back to where Elliot still sat, Erik sank to his knees at Elliot's feet and placed the box of condoms and the small clear bottle on the arm of the sofa. He stared at them for a moment and then turned his attention to Elliot, who leaned back. Reaching up to touch Elliot's chest, Erik sighed and turned his attention to Elliot's pants fastenings; undoing the brown leather belt and button and zipper of the material. He tried not to hurry or let Elliot see his hands shake. Reaching in a removing Elliot's manhood, Erik then took a moment to remove a wrapper from the box and position the condom over the erection before he leaned in and licked at the waking appendage. He heard Elliot gasp and after a minute, felt a gentle hand hold his head as he took Elliot's sleepy erection into his mouth. He knew Elliot was watching him and could feel the strain as the detective debating pulling away. Erik sucked harder. Teasing the shaft, Erik paused to suck and lick the tip, receiving a mouthful of clear fluid from inside the latex barrier.

Erik sat back and rested for a moment as he reached up to unbutton his own shirt and pants. He removed his shirt and placed it on the sofa, beside Elliot, and sighed as he hesitantly moved to remove his jeans, kicking his shoes off before stepping out of his pants and placing them beside his shirt. He left his black boxers on and reached for the bottle of KY. Holding it in his hands, he stared at it. "Aside from my last interaction with Jake, I haven't done this in a really long time."

Elliot reached up and slowly took the bottle from him. Lifting the tab open, Elliot carefully poured a puddle into the palm of his hand and coated the condom, placing a little more on the tip.

A hushed gasp as Erik watched Elliot stroke himself. Biting his lip, he moved to slide his boxers down his hips, to his ankles and then waited as Elliot slid his pants and boxers down, past his knees. He was stopped as Elliot then reached for a pillow, behind him, and tossed it on the floor and then motioned for Erik to lie down.

His head touched the pillow and Erik smiled up at Elliot, looming over him. Erik spread his legs and gingerly helped the detective place himself at Erik's entrance. He nodded his readiness as Elliot pressed in as gently as he could. Erik winced in pain but refused to let Elliot stop.

Just using the tip, inside Erik, Elliot started a slow rhythm until he was certain the younger man was used to being stretched before pressing in further. Holding himself just above Erik, Elliot placed a hand on Erik's hip while the other worked as support, and shoved himself in further. He could tell it was not Erik's nature to be the bottom as the pained expression on Erik's face was becoming unbearable. As Erik closed his eyes, Elliot bent down and captured his mouth to get his mind off of the pain. As their lips touched, Elliot slipped in deeper and caused a groan from both of them. He could feel Erik's hands on his hips and then wrap around his ribcage as the younger man shifted for better leverage. Within minutes, Elliot moaned and grit his teeth as he came. He could feel Erik's tight muscled ring clamp around him and the wet spray of Erik's erection, between them.

**********

Elliot climbed the stairs to the balcony of the squad room and sat down on the end of the teal sofa. He sighed to himself and stared at the floor, two feet in front of him. His hands clasped together as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Moving a hand to wipe across his face and curl around his mouth, Elliot was deep in thought and hadn't noticed Dr. Huang climb the stairs and approach him. He jumped and sat back as his eyes caught sight of the figure. "What's up, doc?"

Dr. George Huang smiled and stood at the railing, a few feet away from Elliot. "I could ask you the same thing. Everything alright, Detective Stabler?"

Inhaling and changing his position to sitting back on the sofa, Elliot nodded. "Yea. Just uh, thinking about something." He had several things on his mind that he needed off of his chest but, he hadn't been the kind of person to divulge his personal struggles to anyone, not even his own partner. His mind was in turmoil since his wife moved out and handed him divorce papers as well as current cases and..... previous ones.

"Did you want to talk about it?" Huang came closer and sat down at the small table, next to the sofa and faced the detective.

Elliot shook his head and sighed. "Nah, it's just minor things."

"Rumour has it, you've been checking up on Erik Matthews. He made an impression, on you, didn't he?" Huang smiled again. Meeting Elliot's eye, he elaborated. "Your desk calendar mentioned lunch with an E. M. Could I hazard a guess?" He knew the extra secretive detective would never come outright to say who or why he was meeting with but, after the trial, he had his theories. It was also against his professional courtesy to divulge that he had been speaking to Erik, as a psychiatrist, about the previous trial and drama that had occurred.

Elliot shifted uncomfortably for a few moments before finally giving in and admitting the Huang's assumption was correct. "I've been talking to him and checking up on him. Cancer is scary to go through alone. Or, even when you're not alone."

Huang nodded. "At least you're talking to him, and he's maybe sharing what you need to know, as well?"

Brow furrowing and his mouth opened to form something to say, but he was halted as Cragen came up the stairs.

"Elliot, my office."

Following the captain down the stairs and into Cragen's office, Elliot stopped in the doorway. "Captain Anders...?"

The retired Brooklyn Homicide captain sat in a chair, facing Cragen's desk. In his hand was something Stabler couldn't yet make out. The elder Anders stood up and turned to greet the detective, as he entered the room. His expression was sombre and it looked like he hadn't slept in a few days. Two and a half weeks had past since Elliot and Erik shared intimacy but Russell Anders was only concerned with the task he was given. "Detective Stabler." He paused to glance down at the plain white envelope, in his hand. "I was instructed by Erik to stop by and hand this to you. He uh, ....passed away, yesterday morning." Another pause as he fought back the tears that choked his words. Handing the envelope to Elliot, he took a ragged breath and added, "Erik was a good boy. Worked hard at what he did and told me he really enjoyed your company. I'm glad you could be there for him, when his family couldn't. Thank you."

Elliot was in shock as Anders shook his hand and slipped out of the office. He stared at the envelope and flipped it over to unseal it and remove the contents. "A letter from Aaron Jasper's family, to Erik." He paraphrased as he read it. "They say they're just as sorry Erik was the actual target and that it caused so much anguish on his already compromised system." He closed the letter and looked up. "They wish him the best." The second item inside the envelope was a small 3x5 portrait card of Saint Jane Frances, complete with a prayer of Forgiveness. Elliot felt ill as he stared at the card. It was old and faded, with a handwritten note, on the back: 'Take heart, Elliot. I forgive you.'

 

End.


	13. Alternate Scene, Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't like cliches and think this chapter would have been better with a mix of both of these love scenes. However, being Catholic and knowing Stabler as such, it was hard to write just that. So, an alternate scene was included. I tried to keep both in character. Enjoy.

ALTERNATE ENDING

"So, what are you doing in Manhattan? How did you get here?" Making their way back outside after their meal, Elliot stopped to check his watch.

Erik smirked and pointed to a dark gray BMW, across the street. "I do have a driver's license and have been driving for years. A friend of mine is out of town so, I'm watching his place. I just came here to get away for awhile. I should collect the mail and water the plants." He was flattered that Elliot was interested in spending the day with him but he wondered why. Why would the married Detective Stabler hunt him down, just to sit with him on a park bench and then accept lunch? "Was there something you wanted to see me about, Detective?"

Elliot sighed and shrugged. "Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private and talk." The suggestion in itself had made Erik more nervous but Elliot had won the small staring contest and let Erik lead the way to his friend's apartment.

They walked two blocks and turned left into a nondescript building, taking the lift to the seventh floor and then taking a right, they stopped at a door with the marking of 73C on it. They indulged in small talk until they were inside the loft, pausing briefly for Erik to retrieve the mail from the small rectangular postbox, just inside the entrance. "So, we're here. What's so important?" A small, thin table sat beside the doorway, against the wall. He placed the few letters in a neat pile, next to the neat pile of junk mail. 

A small entryway opened up into a large living room, void of clutter, save for a teal 1960s-esque decor sofa with two matched reading chairs with rounded backs. A large entertainment centre adorned the far right wall, complete with a large flat screen television, dvd player and a very expensive sound system. To the left of the entryway was the kitchenette sitting in the middle of the room while the bedroom was carefully concealed around back. Large windows lined the wall in front of them, giving a panoramic view of Hudson.

Elliot stood in the livingroom and turned around to look back at Erik, as he stood next to the small table with the mail on it. "I uh," he paused and turned to wave a hand at the sofa. "Why don't we have a seat?" Making his way over to the firm sofa and sitting down, he waited for Erik to join him. "I've been thinking about this for awhile now and didn't want to add to your stress. That day, I came over to apologise to you and check on you, you fell asleep, from your medication. You were pretty out of it so, I don't expect you to remember all that much."

Erik's calm demeanour was postponed by a small twinge of confusion before changing again to recollection. "I remember." He swallowed and nervously wet his lip with the tip of his tongue.

"Well, while you were asleep, I kept an eye on you. I um.... you started talking in your sleep." Elliot looked up from staring at his jeans, to see Erik's calm expression remain unchanged. "It was probably the medication talking but, you said some things that......" he sighed and thought of how to phrase the rest of the sentence. He couldn't tell if Erik was embarassed or not as the young man hadn't shown any form of expression, other than recognition. 

"I can tell by your lack of wording that you weren't expecting me to say whatever I said. Correct?" Erik was tired of waiting and wanted to get the obviously painful admission over with as quickly as possible. "What did I say, exactly?" Shifting and facing Elliot, he noted the detective's unease but waited for the answer. He unzipped his jacket and folded his hands in his lap.

Elliot cleared his throat and shifted uneasily, again. "You said that you loved me and wanted to have sex with me."

Erik remained still and quiet and only stared back at him, waiting to see if there was more. He blinked and tried to read Elliot's expression as the detective shifted again. He was patient as their eyes met. He could tell Elliot wasn't sure what to think or how to examine it. Erik waited for the inevitable disgust or anger he might have felt but nothing came. Turning to look out the window a moment, he thought of the words to say. "Does that scare you?"

"Should it?" Elliot shrugged.

"It must if you've been waiting for something to happen to that effect. If it bothered you too much, the night in my hotel room wouldn't have gone as it did. Instead of you staying the night, with me, you would have left abruptly, after we kissed." Erik paused again, giving Elliot a moment to let it sink in what he was saying. "It's has to be mutual, for a relationship to work. You know that. And, you still pursued me, stayed with me or held me in my time of need. If I, at any time, repulsed you, I think I'm big enough to be able to handle the rejection."

Nodding, Elliot cleared his throat and sat back. "People are more honest in their dreams than when they're awake."

"People are more able to control their actions, when awake, than asleep. So far, we've only shared a kiss. If you didn't like it, you were more than able to let me know to refrain from imposing myself on you as well as removing yourself from the possibility of recurrence. Yet, here you are. Are you saying it doesn't bother you?" Another pause. They sat facing each other with a cushion's width between them. Erik hadn't wanted to crowd Elliot. "Or, are you saying you are curious about my statement, Elliot?"

Elliot swallowed and stood up, leaving Erik to sit silently and watch him move to stand in the middle of the shag rug. He sighed and placed a hand over his mouth, in thought. When he lowered it and turned around again, he was met with Erik's awaiting stare. "I try to be a good Catholic. I may not agree with some things people do in their lives but, it's not for me to judge them. Being a cop, putting bad guys in jail is just a job. Part of me chalked those actions and thoughts up to stress and possibly fragile emotions. It happens."

Erik nodded. "Do I make you uncomfortable, Elliot?"

"Is that how you feel about me? Was what you said, in your sleep the real emotion, or are you just saying it to see what I'd do or say?"

Erik's court tone came back to him and he stood up to rephrase his question. "Let me rephrase, Detective Stabler. Does my being homosexual and assertion make you feel uncomfortable?"

Elliot turned around, recognising the lawyer's tone. "No. It doesn't bother me, Counselour."

"Good. I'd like to think there is a possibility for a friendship."

"Is this how all of your relationships start?"

Relaxing his position and sighing, Erik nodded, tiredly. "Pretty much." He was beginning to feel the painful strain of scrutiny.

Elliot crossed his arms and slipped into his interrogation demeanour. "You still haven't answered my question, Erik." 

Erik stared at the floor for a long moment before looking back up at Elliot. "And if I say 'yes'? Does it change anything between us?" His outer expression was calm and monotone but, inside he was shaking. Already, he could see the silent war behind Elliot's eyes. "Yes, it is." A warmth came over him, along with a feeling of shame as well as relief of getting his feelings out, into the open.

Both were still for a long while, taking in what the other had said. 

Erik stood and walked to the kitchen to retrieve a few bottles of beer, from the refrigerator, before making his way back to the sofa and sitting down. Handing one to Elliot, he opened the other and took a sip before setting the bottle on the floor. 

Elliot opened his beer and took a long drink. Sighing after swallowing, he joined Erik on the sofa and took another drink, nearly finishing the bottle. He held the cap in his free hand and played with it. "How's it going with your brother?" Elliot took another long drink of his beer as he sat back.

Shrugging, Erik shook his head. "Alex is.... Alex. Treats me like I'm five, all over again. The brownstone sold, so I'm stuck. Alex doesn't trust me with his friends, or his kids, and I can't be alone, if I have a friend of mine over. Pop's not as uptight but, doesn't want to believe I'm gay, either. At least I don't have to sleep on the sofa." He took another sip, this time a longer one than before. As he held the bottle in his hand, he stared at the neck; its curvature and smoothness.

"Maybe, it's better this way. You needed to get a fresh start. A few bad memories, in that house, lately."

Erik took a deep breath and nodded. "Yea, but a lot of good ones, too. I had hoped Jake wasn't like what he turned out to be. But, he was. My brother gives me grief about being so reckless." 

Finishing his beer, Elliot cleared his throat and listened to what Erik was saying. "Do you still have feelings for him?"

Erik flinched at the question and turned his head away. "He had some good points. Before my diagnosis, we were a couple, you know? Great sex, laughing and joking, he'd make supper a few nights, I'd take him out here and there. Romantic stuff. I took care of him."

"And, he abandoned you." 

Standing and avoiding the rest of the topic, Erik held out his hand for Elliot's empty bottle. "Another one?" He paused as their fingers touched as Elliot handed him the bottle. Pulling away and turning to walk back to the kitchen, Erik held his breath in. He wanted to kiss Elliot, again. He wanted to undress the detective and cover him with his mouth. He swallowed as he reached the tall, stainless steel rubbish can, at the end of the countre and lifted the lid to drop the bottle in. His groin tightened as he became aroused. Erik's mind wandered back to being in bed with Jake, being on top of him and making love to the older man as their mouths entwined. Releasing the lid and making his way over back over to the refrigerator, he removed two more beers and turned back to see Elliot watching him, from the sofa. "Something wrong?" Erik noticed the far away look of the detective and wondered why he was being stared at, in such a manner.

Elliot's breath caught and he shook his head, embarrassed. "No. No, I'm fine."

Making his way back over to the sofa, Erik raised an eyebrow. "What's the matter?"

Elliot sighed and wiped a hand over his mouth, shaking his head. "Just uh, just thinking." He accepted the second bottle of beer and twisted off the cap before swallowing a mouthful of the beverage.

"Elliot, I'd like to think that a friendship is where two people share what they're thinking and feeling." Erik set the second, unopened bottle down, on the floor, in front of the sofa, and knelt down in front of Elliot. "How can I help you, detective? Is there something you need from me?" He paused and placed a careful hand on Elliot's left thigh. "Is there something I can do for you?" He watched as Elliot picked up the bottle, again, and took another good swallow before setting it back down and staring down at Erik, unsure of what to say or how to say it.

Staring at Erik's hand on his thigh, Elliot shifted, uncomfortably, in his seat. His heart thumped in his chest as Erik moved his hand up Elliot's thigh, to rest on the bend of his leg. He was silent, thinking of where this was headed and what Erik would do next.

The tip of Erik's tongue wet his lip as he paid close attention to what his touch was doing to the man on the sofa. "You had the same expression, in the hotel room, when you refused to let me go. You looked scared when I told you it was okay and you could go." Easing his hand towards Elliot's zipper, his breath caught as Elliot held him by the wrist, stopping him from proceeding. Their eyes met in silent conversation of what to do next. Inhaling, Erik brought the hand that held his wrist, to his mouth and shifted to gently suck on Elliot's index finger. Knowing the detective was watching him, he began careful massagings with his tongue, showing Elliot his intentions. His ears heard a soft, quick moan as Detective Stabler watched him. His other hand slid casually up Elliot's right leg and lightly gripped Elliot's right hip. He stopped his ministrations and stared up at Elliot. "Is that what you need, Elliot?" His voice a whisper.

Inhaling and releasing his hand, he reached for the bottle again but this time, took several large gulps before placing the empty bottle down on the coaster. Taking another deep breath, Elliot leaned forward and held Erik's head in his hands as their lips collided in a deep kiss. As they parted, their eyes met and he whispered, "I think this is what you need, Erik."

Letting his hand move to feel the firm appendage behind Elliot's zipper, Erik met his eyes, again, his breathing becoming slowly laboured. "Or, both of us." Erik swallowed. "May I make love to you, Elliot?" His heart beat faster as the silence between them stifled the air. When answer came back, Erik felt his arousal stiffen. He had waited for this moment for so long that he wanted their pairing to be perfect and romantic. In the back of his mind, he heard the same destructive voice that kept him from pursuing his first crush; he pushed it away and smiled as he reached up to kiss the man again. "There's a box of condoms and a bottle of KY, in the bathroom." Taking Elliot's hand as they stood up, he lead the detective down the hall, to a second bedroom, and excused himself to retrieve the items. When he returned, he found the bed void of his prospective partner and his breath caught, feeling that he might have scared Elliot away by his assertiveness. Erik's heart sank.

A hand touched his arm, from behind him, in the hallway. Erik turned and embraced him, kissing him and pulling him closer.

Elliot stood there. He had excused himself to use the restroom and splash some water on his face. Nudging Erik into the room, Elliot was guided to the side of the bed, where Erik began removing Elliot's clothes. First his shirt was unbuttoned and slipped off to be draped over the back of a spare dining chair, that had been placed in the corner of the room, next to the window. His jeans were next, carefully unbuttoned and unzipped as Erik sank to his knees to lower the jeans and boxers, taking great care in placing the condom and jelly over the long, thick erection.

When Erik stood again, he softly asked for Elliot to lie down on the bed while he removed his own clothing. He watched as Elliot kicked his shoes off and then stepped out of the pooled clothing at his ankles and did as he was instructed. He smirked as Elliot watched him strip before climbing up, onto the bed to straddle Elliot's hips and pause. "I'm not usually the one to accept, in this, but we'll go slow." His heart fluttered as Elliot nodded and placed his hands on Erik's hips. A pained gasp as Erik gingerly readied himself for the intrusion and moaned, softly, as he placed the tip at his tight entrance, carefully easing it inside. The ring was still tender from Jake's rough intrusion but Erik forced himself to relax and focus on the cool glob of jelly on the crown. Feeling himself widening, he gasped in surprise as Elliot's grip pressed into his pale skin and his hip raised up to help pushed himself in. 

Seeing Erik's eyes squeeze shut, Elliot could feel the tightness around him as he took painfully slow moves to completely envelop the head of his manhood. They paused as Erik's body relaxed around the length. He almost came as Erik started to slide further down the erection. 

Erik gasped and panted as he leaned over, capturing Elliot's mouth again, forcing Elliot deeper inside him. A sharp inhale and gentle movement sent tingles of both pleasure and pain to Erik but he didn't want to stop as he reveled in knowing it was Elliot who was inside him. A sigh and a smile as he had relaxed enough to move a little faster. He continued at a relatively slow pace and only winced a few times as he forced himself further down. Erik let his hands hold Elliot's face as their tongues sparred. He felt Elliot's calm care and tenderness as Elliot gripped Erik's hips, letting the younger man rock back and forth until he could feel the detective's muscles tighten. 

Moving a hand to Erik's silky chestnut hair, Elliot grabbed a fistful as he tensed and came. The movement continued as Elliot came several more times, causing Erik to moan in pleasure before letting Elliot slip out of him. Elliot could feel his heart beat pounding in his chest as Erik moved to lie beside him, a cool hand on Elliot chest. With Erik's head on his left shoulder, Elliot stared at the smooth ceiling and listened to the younger man pant and coo.


	14. Alternate Ending 2

Rikers Island  
Thursday 14, June  
10:54 AM

"Who found him?" Elliot knelt down and rested on the balls of his feet and sighed as he lifted the white sheet, covering the body. The body had been placed on the floor, on his back, with his head toward the entrance to the cell. Elliot recognised him immediately and took a moment to swallow his reaction before speaking.

Warden William James stood behind him and went over his own notes, on a small flip pad. "Block guard, Officer Yates. Got curious when no one stepped out for morning roll call." The Warden was a small man with short black hair parted on the side and a bushy mustache. A stocky man with a firm hand for discipline and respect.

Elliot looked around the small cell. "Bunk mate see or hear anything?"

"No. He's been in Solitary for the past week due to a fight in the cafeteria."

Elliot sighed. "Any visitors, threatening letters?"

"Nope. No one's come to see him. No mail, either. He was unpopular, for awhile but kept his head down and nose mostly clean." The Warden shrugged.

Sighing and standing up, Elliot glanced at the small collection of photos, taped to the wall of Jacob Martinelli's bunk. The familiar face in the majority of photos agitated the rock in the pit of Elliot's stomach, telling him he would regret seeing Erik's reaction, after being told of his ex-lover's demise. "He get into any arguments with any of his block mates? Any known disagreesments with the guards, lately?"

The Warden shook his head. "There's killers, rapists, wife-beaters, drug dealers and a plethora of other low-lifes in here. A reason could be as small as blinking the wrong way. This one made enemies left and right, in here. I want my block back to normal, as soon as possible." Turning and stepping out of the cell, he called to the officer on duty to work with the detectives and get them what they needed, for a more speedy end to the upheaval.

After a few more hours of gathering evidence and statements, Elliot and Olivia were on their way back to their squadroom. "I thought we were done with the loves and losses of Jacob Martinelli."

Olivia shrugged and went over her notes, from the passenger seat. "Well, we can rule out Justin Paxton. He's not even at the same prison as Jake. Martinelli had no visitors, no phone calls. The guards say one thing, the prisoners say another." She paused and glanced over at him as he turned the wheel, into the parking garage. "Do you think Erik might know of anyone who'd want to hurt Jake?" She could see the torment in his thoughts. "Elliot, he knew Jake's personal life more in depth than Jake's own family. He might have an idea as to who could have had motive."

"You mean, aside from himself? C'mon, Liv, after the whole trial, everyone's just waiting for the revenge card to be played." Elliot pulled into a parking spot and put the car into park before shutting off the engine.

Olivia opened her door and stepped out, as Elliot had done from his side. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying we should at least ask him about other possibilities, Jake had. A playboy like Jake Martinelli would have made a lot more enemies than friends, and especially after the trial proceedings came out. Erik was his lawyer for so long. He'd know more about Jake than what the trial exposed." Closing their doors, Olivia took the lead to the lift to the lobby and pushed the button. "Aren't you being a little bit defensive over Erik Matthews?" She turned to look at her partner's expression, as the doors closed behind them and started moving up to their floor.

Elliot shifted and after a long minute of silence, spoke in a calm tone. "You didn't see what that trial did to him. A young man who had just beaten cancer fell apart in a bathroom stall, alone. He had his world pulled out from under him and now this, to stir it all up again? I'm just thinking it could have been an outside job."

"That's fine. All I was suggesting was to talk to him, Elliot. He could probably give us a direction to follow."

The car came to a stop and the doors opened, they both stepped out and turned to the left, making their way through the busy hallway, to their squadroom. Elliot stopped just inside the doorway as he caught sight of the familiar shaggy brown hair and dark gray business suit. His brow furrowed as he continued to his desk, catching the young man's line of sight. "Back on the pay roll, Counselour?" He smiled as Erik turned to look at him.

Erik took a breath and blinked at the detective as Elliot sat down in his chair. "For this one, I am. After the trial, Jake's family disowned him. I am all he had left." He hadn't enjoyed the knock on his father's door after Munch and Fin had been told from the Martinellis that Erik should be notified and they wanted to hear nothing more of the subject. He looked tired but more well than he had during or even after the trial. "Ms. Cabot called me in to help. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here."

"Isn't that conflict of interest? Erik, he raped and beat you and conspired to kill you. Are you sure you want to do this?" Olivia leaned against the corner of her desk and crossed her arms, taking in his appearance.

Sighing and turning to face her, Erik slipped his hands into his pockets and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm not forgiving him for that. He's a victim. It just so happens that he was also my partner. Your unit has the same mantra of helping ANY victim, priors or not. Doesn't he deserve justice, also?" Another breath as he moved to remove his billfold from his inside jacket pocket, open it and remove a small white card. "My new number. I would appreciate being kept in the loop." Handing the card to Olivia, he turned again to make his way out to the lift.

End


End file.
